I hadn’t been anywhere near as emotional with this pregnancy as I was with Carter, but this news made me cry.
I hadn’t seen much of Sasha lately, and due to my bed rest, I’d missed my coffee mornings with the girls from the playgroup. As much as I was looking forward to having Lori stay, I was more than pleased to have Maggie here too.
“Where’s the kid?” She pushed past me and into the house as Lori stepped forward and wrapped me in her arms. “How are you feeling, beautiful girl? Let me look at you.”
I returned the new cuddle I was now receiving and gave her a squeeze before stepping away. “Not bad, feeling better than I was but still nervous about Liam being away for so long.”
“I’m not surprised. When he asked me to come over earlier because he was worried about you being on your own, I told him I didn’t think he should be leaving you.”
I must’ve looked like I had a nervous tick, because I blinked rapidly as my brain tried to register what she was saying to me.
“I didn’t realise he’d asked you to change your plans, weren’t you always coming in November?”
“No, but it’s no big deal, sweetheart. I was coming in December anyway. I’ve been in your position, the girls were only two and a half when Liam came along, and Dan was always working long hours and traveling, although he was usually just interstate not overseas.”
My eyes didn’t leave Liam’s as he wheeled two cases towards us.
“When? When did he ask you to come sooner?”
“As soon as you found out you were having twins, you called the same night you found out I think.”
“Yeah, we did.”
We had. We’d called when we got home from dinner, which meant Liam had known back then about this trip. When he promised me on the day of the ultrasound no travelling for at least a year, he knew full well he wasn’t going to be able to keep that promise.
“Did what?” Liam asked with a smile as he reached the front door. He tilted his head and kissed me softly on the mouth. When I didn’t kiss him back and didn’t answer his question, he leant away from me and asked again. “Did what? You okay?” I wasn’t sure what the look was on my face. I was not sure exactly what it was I felt either. It was equal measures of hurt and anger with a bit of incredulity.
Lori had gone inside the house, the chilly November night too cold for her Western Australian system.
“We did call and tell your family about the twins the night after we found out.”
His eyebrows pulled in tight as a look of confusion passed over his gorgeous face.
“Why, is she saying we should’ve called sooner? It was the middle of the night for them. We waited till that late for everyone to be up.”
He had no clue where this conversation was about to go. No clue about what I was getting at.
“No, your mum wasn’t saying that at all. What she was saying was that she didn’t mind changing her plans so she could come early. The plans you asked her to change when you talked to her during that call.”
I was standing just inside our front door, Liam just outside it. The hall light was off behind me, but the outside light was illuminating Liam in a soft golden glow. He opened his mouth to say something, closed it, sighed, and then started again.
“I really thought I was gonna be able to get out of it. I’d only found out that morning about the trip, and then when I saw your reaction to being told we were having twins, I didn’t wanna mention the trip.”
He tilted his face and rested his forehead on mine. It was only then that I realised how much I was shaking.
“I asked my mum as back up. I honestly thought I’d be able to get out of it, Sarah, but it’s too big of a deal. Almost every country in the world is on its arse right now, but China has one of the biggest growth markets. They own some of the largest mining projects in Australia and are looking for more, why shouldn’t we be the ones supplying the labour?”
He let go of the cases he had been hanging on to and wrapped his arms around me.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not being upfront and honest with you, I just didn’t wanna upset you anymore that day.”
We didn’t argue often. We were both pretty easy-going people. Yeah, I was miserable in the mornings, but Liam had worked out that it was best to ignore me till I had fully woken up. We bickered about petty things like wet towels on the bed, the milk being left out, toast crumbs in the butter, all that kind of shit, but we’d never had a screaming match, but I felt like I couldn’t let this go.
I let him off easily when Luke dropped the original bombshell about the trip, but this time I needed him to know exactly how I felt. Trouble was, I was so upset that I knew I would just end up crying if I said anything.
“Not good enough, Liam. Not good enough,” I managed to say before I twisted out of his arms and walked away.
“Don’t fucking walk away from me.” His voice was low and controlled.