She tried to smile but suspected it came out like a smirk. He was leaving on her birthday and he didn’t even realize it. The date held such importance for Briar, since she was afraid she’d have to give up the children then, and here he was, so nonchalant. Did he even see her? Know who she was? Had he forgotten everything that was important to her?
They walked like this the whole way to the cottage, Wheeler trying to impress her with his accomplishments, and Briar trying to convince herself that she’d finally achieved what she wanted. Her plans were back on track. She should be pleased.
Presently, Wheeler picked up a stone so he could demonstrate the accuracy of his throwing arm. Apparently he’d been practicing throwing at targets. They stopped in front of the little lane next to her house and he said, “Look, I’ll aim for that pot.”
“No! That’s my—” Too late. Smash. Pieces of the pot thumped to the dirt. The geranium landed upside down with snapped flower heads and crushed petals. She took in a deep breath.
Oblivious to Briar’s distress, Wheeler hooted his victory.
“Thank you for walking me home,” she said stiffly. “But…but you should go back to town. We can’t pick up where you left me. I’m not there anymore. I’ve changed.” Even if it means working every job I can find and begging help from all my friends and acquaintances, I’ll find another way to keep the children.
He looked startled, then smiled. “Till Monday,” he said with a wink before turning around and strutting back toward town.
“No, Wheeler,” she called out. Find your voice. “I’m staying here. You’re moving to Burlington on your own.”
He turned, cocked his head. Then shrugged. “Okay. See you, Briar.”
Briar slowly shook her head as she watched Wheeler walk away. She used to love watching him walk down her lane, knowing he wouldn’t get back till dark but knowing he made the sacrifice for her, for them. She sighed. Well, that was it, then. It was over. She wanted it to be over.
“Who was that?” asked Fanny, joining her on the road and craning her neck to see Wheeler’s lanky frame headed back into town.
“Someone I thought I needed.”
Briar turned around and joined her family feeling lighter than she had in a long time. Despite everything else being the same, she wasn’t. All the meetings Ethel had brought her to had given her hope that she didn’t have to settle. What she thought was a “this or that” decision had opened up to a third path. And that was a powerful realization. It wasn’t marry Wheeler or lose the children. She could use her God-given tools to find another way. It may not be as neat and tidy and it may involve charity from others, but she wasn’t feeling trapped anymore.
While she was wrestling with these thoughts, Briar went through the motions of listening to the children’s adventures with their ever-growing menagerie. They had added a squirrel that Pansy had been coaxing into the garden with hazelnuts. Her face shone as she talked about his quick little movements. Watching Pansy blossom and enjoy her childhood helped bolster Briar’s determination. She had to keep working hard for these little ones.
After the children were tucked into bed, Fanny handed Briar a cup of tea and motioned for them to sit outside on the stoop. The fireflies had begun to flit around in the woods and Briar remembered how she used to pretend they were fairies playing a game of tag or hide-and-seek with one another. She stole a glance at Fanny. Now she knew how far off those fantasies of tiny, carefree fairies were.
She sipped her tea, determined to enjoy her personal victory before she had to work on her most pressing problems again. The children. The spindle. Both needed protecting and she didn’t know how to do either, yet. If Wheeler was a weight lifted off her shoulders, these other concerns were weights tied to each leg, dragging behind her, getting heavier with each step.
She’d have to temporarily lay aside her promise to her mam to one day set her feet on Irish soil. That was too big a promise and had the potential to get in the way of decisions she was making now. It had made Wheeler seem so perfect for her and made her blind to other options.
“The boys have probably captured every single one of those beetles at some point this week,” Fanny said, breaking the silence. “They capture them in a canning jar and set them by their bed for a night-light. By morning they’ve all escaped, and the boys are convinced the fireflies team up together to unscrew the cap on the jar when they’re sleeping. Every night they try to stay awake to catch them at work.” Fanny laughed, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. “Oh, I’m going to miss them when I leave. I never knew little boys could be so much fun.”
“They are dears, aren’t they?” Briar mused. Fanny was so good with them. She would make a lovely nanny.
“Do you have to leave us? Is there some fairy business that you have to go back to or can you stay? The children love you, I can tell, and it would only need to be until I get settled myself.”