That was how Tennat had beat Panahsi. That was how he’d hurt him so badly, even though nobody but me – not even Tennat himself – had realised it. Pan had been trying so hard to protect himself that he’d actually ended up crushing his own internal organs. Now it was Tennat who was so convinced that his spells were failing that he was pushing them too hard. I was still in blinding pain, but I’d expected it. I was ready for it. Tennat wasn’t.
He struggled for a while, increasing his attack on me even as he unconsciously tore at himself with his own shield spell. I felt my legs shake and my vision start to blur as the pain became too much for me. It had seemed like such a good plan at the time, I thought.
Suddenly Tennat stumbled out of his circle. ‘Enough!’ he shouted. ‘I yield … I yield!’
The fingers of his own power disappeared into nothingness. I could breathe again. I tried my very best to keep my tremendous sense of relief from showing on my face.
Osia’phest walked slowly over to Tennat, who was on his knees gasping. ‘Describe the sensation,’ our teacher demanded.
Tennat looked up at the old man as if he were an idiot, which was a fairly common impression of our teacher. ‘It felt like I was about to die. That’s what it felt like!’
Osia’phest ignored the belligerent tone. ‘And did it feel the same as with the other students?’
A jolt of fear ran through me as I realised Osia’phest was testing his suspicions. Tennat looked over at me, then at the old man. ‘It … I suppose not at first. Usually it feels hard, like a strong hand grabbing at you, but with Kellen it’s different … worse, like tendrils insinuating themselves all around my insides. By the end I could feel him crushing my organs.’
Osia’phest stood in silence for a long time as the breeze picked up and drifted off again around us. The other initiates were still staring at me, wondering how someone who hadn’t broken any of his bands had beaten the best duellist in our class. But they’d all seen Tennat falter and heard him describe what sounded like someone being overwhelmed by superior magic. Finally Osia’phest said, ‘Well done, Kellen of the House of Ke. It would appear that you’ve passed the first test.’
‘I’ll pass the other three too,’ I declared.
I did it, I thought, as a surge of joy erupted inside me. I beat him. I won. No more spending hours and hours staring at the bands on my forearms, praying without success to break the bindings between the sigils to spark them. No more sitting awake at night wondering when I would be sent away from my family home, doomed to become Sha’Tep and take a position as a tradesman, clerk or, ancestors help me, Tennat’s personal servant.
A few of the other initiates applauded. I doubted any of them other than Panahsi and maybe Nephenia had wanted me to best Tennat, but among my people? Let’s just say everyone loves a winner. Even Tennat bowed to me, with about as much grace as you’d expect given the circumstances. I hadn’t hurt his standing in the trials. Every initiate was allowed three attempts at the duel and he’d already won several.
‘All right,’ Osia’phest said. ‘Let’s have the next pair and—’
‘Stop!’ a voice called out, cutting off our teacher and, with more force than any spell I could imagine, shattering everything I had done and everything I would ever do. I watched with a sinking heart as my sister pushed past Osia’phest and strode forth to stand in front of me, hands on her hips. ‘Kellen cheated,’ she said simply.
And, just like that, all my hopes and dreams came crashing down around me.
2
The Betrayal
Everyone was staring at me, waiting for an answer to the charge that my own sister had just levelled at me. My mind, not good for most things but usually quick to come up with a wide range of excuses, bluffs, and out-and-out lies, failed me. It wasn’t as if I couldn’t have made something up (Shalla’s possessed by a demon! Mine is the secret eighth form of magic! The council of mages sent me to test all of you! It’s a dream! You’re all dreaming!) but what possible explanation could I give that wouldn’t be tested by simply having me retake the trial, this time with someone who wasn’t going to be fooled by my trick?
I did the thing that you should never do in these situations. I looked at the faces of the people around me, hoping someone would intervene. If there’s a surer way of demonstrating one’s own guilt, I haven’t encountered it. Oddly it was my teacher, Osia’phest, who tried to come to my rescue. The old man put on an annoyed expression and waved a dismissive hand in the air. ‘Girl, I may be forced to allow you to be part of these trials, but I am not required to let you interrupt them. Go bother Master He’met.’
‘But he’s cheating!’ she said, pointing at me. ‘Kellen’s not even doing the—’
‘Shalla, get out of here,’ I said between gritted teeth. I tried to signal her with my eyes. Please. If you love me at all, let it go.
If she caught my meaning, she gave no sign of it. Shalla crossed her arms and stood there as if she were about to hold her breath until she got her way. ‘He’s cheating, Master Osia’phest. He didn’t cast any spells.’
Tennat, who was not yet aware that Shalla had long ago decided he wasn’t quite impressive enough a mage to become her lover when the time came, took the opportunity to put a hand on her arm and give her a patronising smile. ‘Trust me, Shalla, I was there. Your brother—’
‘Oh, shut up,’ she said, shaking him off. She pointed at me again. ‘Kellen’s not doing the spell. He just made you think he was, and you fell for it because you’re an idiot. He convinced you that he was winning and tricked you into turning your own power against yourself. It’s almost clever, but it’s not magic.’
They turned to look at me. Panahsi. Nephenia. All of them. Tennat’s expression was uncertain and I could tell he was trying to relive the experience and decide whether or not his feelings had been real. Some of the other students started to snigger a bit, not sure quite whom they were laughing at.
The ruse had been so simple that no one could have expected it. But now they all knew. Why couldn’t you have let me have just this one thing, Shalla?
Osia’phest frowned, his eyes strangely soft as they caught mine. He already knew, I realised. He’s known all along. But why didn’t he say anything? ‘Very well,’ he mumbled. ‘I will have to take the matter up with –’
‘He can do the spell if he just tries harder,’ Shalla interrupted, stepping into the circle Tennat had occupied moments before. ‘You don’t need tricks, Kellen. You think you do, but that’s only because you don’t believe in yourself.’
Despite how betrayed I felt, I almost laughed. She thinks she’s helping me! I realised. This is Shalla, trying to make me into the man she believes I ought to be.