Spellbinder (Moonshadow #2)

“Okay, good.” She relaxed again.

In order to cast the spell, he had to think back and immerse himself in the memory of playing. Aside from this night, he wasn’t sure when the last time was that he’d picked up a lute, let alone played one.

Thankfully the spell didn’t have to be based on the last time. It could be based on an earlier memory.

When he cast back far enough, a memory surfaced.

It had been a hot afternoon, and much of the court had been relaxing by the cool of a deep river. There had been food and wine, and people had napped, read, and talked while Morgan had leaned with his back against the trunk of a willow tree, looked out at the silver sparkles on the sunlit water, and let his mind wander lazily as he plucked the notes of one of his favorite songs.

He’d been happy then, at peace and relaxed. While there had certainly been challenges to face, he’d had absolute confidence they would overcome them. They’d still had so much to build in their thriving, young kingdom….

He didn’t realize that he had tensed, and his breathing had shortened, until Sidonie leaned her head back against his shoulder and tilted her face to him.

She asked, “What’s wrong?”

The breath from her words touched his cheek in small, warm puffs. He had to force a swallow before he could reply in a bare thread of sound. “This is difficult for me.”

She leaned her cheek against his and asked sympathetically, “Is the spell that difficult to cast?”

He had taken pains to make sure she had no idea who he was, but still a small snort escaped him. “No,” he said. “It’s not the spell. It’s the memories. I was… happy then.”

Immediately, she pushed the lute away, arched, and twisted. As she came to face him, she put her arms around his neck and hugged him.

“If this is difficult for you, then we won’t do it,” she told him. “I’ll think of something else. Maybe I can throw myself down a flight of stairs or something. If I have an accident, she can’t expect me to play so soon, can she?”

Both warmed by her concern and alarmed at the direction of her thoughts, he dropped the lute on a nearby cushion and pulled her closer. “Don’t be ridiculous. You are not going to injure yourself just because I don’t like looking back. The past is done, and there’s nothing I can do to change it. What is happening right now is the most important thing—now and what can be done for the future. And we can do something about that.”

“I don’t like the thought of you being in pain,” she persisted stubbornly. “You have done so much to help me, when the truth is you don’t owe me anything.”

“For God’s sake, Sidonie,” he said, exasperated as he cupped the back of her head. “Now is not the time to start refusing my help. Otherwise, you run the risk of undoing everything I’ve done for you already. Now stop arguing about this, and let me get back to casting that spell.”

Her body felt tight with tension. She told him, “And I don’t like the fact that after everything you’ve done for me, I still don’t know your name. You call me by name all the time, and I can’t do the same with you.”

His arms tightened. “We’re not having that conversation again.”

“I don’t see why not. You should at least promise to tell me who you are after we know Isabeau has accepted whatever cockamamie story you cooked up to explain how I got healed in an underground prison.”

“Are you always so stubborn and single-minded?” he demanded.

Even as they argued, he realized he didn’t want her to know who he was. He didn’t want her to look at him with the same kind of fear that he saw in other people’s faces when they looked at him.

The man who played music by a river was as dead as the others in his memory. He had become someone much harder, more cruel, and ruthless. The shadows gave him a sort of anonymity, a certain distance from the man he had become, and he was not in a hurry to give that up.

When she laughed, she sounded genuinely amused. “Stubborn and single-minded are my middle names. I also have a growing problem with OCD, and you know why? Because I can’t let go of things, and I can’t relax. I never give up on anything, ever.”

He could believe that. All those qualities had gotten her where she was. She was tenacious, strong-willed, exasperating. Talented.

Adorable.

With her face tilted up to his, the subtle edge of moonlight touched along the edge of one high cheekbone, the tilted edge of one eye, and those beautiful, enticing lips. Obeying an impulse he couldn’t put into words, he lowered his head and covered her mouth with his.

As his lips touched hers, he felt her quick intake of breath. Then he lost himself in the shock of rare pleasure as he kissed that full, sensual mouth.

A shudder ran through her, then her arms tightened, and she kissed him back.

She kissed him back.

Her mouth moved under his, lips parting to allow him access. A rush of euphoria hit him, clean, sharp, and all-encompassing. He bent her back and lost himself in voracious pleasure, spearing her with his tongue as he ravished her luscious, plump mouth.

She made a tiny sound. It was both throaty and surprised at once, and it went straight to his cock. As he grew erect, he came back to himself with a jolt.

When was the last time he had felt such sexual tension, such sensual pleasure?

He couldn’t remember.

But he did remember how inappropriate this was. He had no business kissing her. He had no business touching her or thinking about her in this way. She was trapped and in danger, and his life literally was not his own.

She wasn’t the only one who couldn’t trust him. He couldn’t trust himself.

It was nearly impossible to pull away from her giving responsiveness. Breathing hard, he lifted his head and said hoarsely, “Forgive me. I shouldn’t have done that.”

With a soft growl, she sank her fingers in his hair and raised herself up so that she could kiss him back. This time she was the aggressor, and as she darted her tongue into his mouth, his erection tightened to the point of pain. Each of her fingers sent tingling sensations across his scalp, while her lips shifted and moved over his in an irresistible siren’s call.

For long moments, he lost himself in her. As he ran one hand down the side of her torso, she arched herself up to his touch like a cat asking to be stroked. He wanted—needed—to tear off her clothes and lose himself in the voluptuous heat of her slender, muscular body.

But in a distant corner of his mind, unease began to jangle. It grew louder quickly.

They had gone from one impulsive kiss to a level of raw, urgent need that was unbalanced and dangerous. If only he could remember why it was so dangerous…

He dragged his mouth away from hers. It was much harder to do the second time around, and both of them were breathing raggedly.

For long moments, they each held tense. He couldn’t force his fingers to relax and let go of her.

He wanted to never let go of her.