Sighing, I hoisted the heavy library books a little higher into the crook of my elbow, turned away from the sword, and looked up—and found myself staring at a goddess.
I was standing directly across from Sigyn, the Norse goddess of devotion and the former wife of Loki. Unlike all the other statues, who were standing proud, straight, and tall, Sigyn had her head bowed, and her hair trailed over her shoulders, almost as if she were trying to hide her face behind the long locks. And her expression…it was so sad and mournful and full of regret that it made my own heart ache in response.
Loki had tricked Sigyn into freeing him from the prison the other gods had placed him in long ago, and countless people had suffered—died—because of her mistake. Gwen had told me about Sigyn, how she’d masqueraded as Raven, an old woman who did odd jobs around the North Carolina academy, and how she’d spent years watching over the students there and shielding them from all the evil things the Reapers did on Loki’s behalf. Sigyn seemed to be one of the few goddesses, perhaps even the only goddess, who fought her own battles here in the mortal realm, instead of asking a Champion to do it for her.
I admired the goddess for trying to make things right, for trying to clean up the mess she’d made, for trying to help and protect the people who’d been hurt by her mistake. Those were some of the reasons I’d decided to write my term paper on her.
But the main reason was that I knew exactly how she felt.
I had trusted my parents, believed in them, loved them, and they’d still done all these horrible things. My parents had always told me to help people, to be a good warrior, to fight against the Reapers, when they had done the exact opposite. I just didn’t understand why my mom and dad had been Reapers, why they had thought it was okay to bring pain, death, destruction, and suffering to so many innocent people. I felt like I didn’t know them at all—that I’d never known who they truly were.
And now they were dead, murdered, and I would never know the answers to my questions. Why my parents had been Reapers, why they had tried to leave the group, what kind of future they had really wanted for me. Not knowing made me sadder than anything else. All the questions, all the doubts, had cracked deep down into my heart, splintering away my love and respect for my parents and leaving this jagged, hollow crater behind, this aching emptiness that I could never fill, no matter what I did—
The door to the stairs banged open. I whirled around, expecting an attack, but a Valkyrie and a Roman stumbled through the opening, giggling like crazy. They lurched to a stop, and the Valkyrie looped her arms around the Roman’s neck, stood on her tiptoes, and pressed a loud, smacking kiss to his lips. Gold sparks of magic streamed out of her fingertips and flashed in the air all around them, making them look like a fairy-tale couple experiencing true love’s kiss.
I rolled my eyes. More like true lust’s kiss. In addition to being a place to hang out and gossip, the library was also a popular spot for kids to make out. Couples would often sneak away from the fireplace and the study tables, find a shadowy spot back in the stacks, and play tonsil hockey for hours on end. These two must have had the bright idea to come up to the second floor, where it was even darker and more private.
I had zero desire to witness their make-out session, and I was a little annoyed that they had interrupted my peace and quiet. So I loudly cleared my throat, letting the Valkyrie and the Roman know they weren’t alone. The two of them yelped in surprise and jerked apart, their heads snapping in my direction.
“Isn’t it a little early to be sucking face?” I sniped. “It’s still the first day of school. Usually, people don’t start hooking up until at least day two.”
The Valkyrie slapped her hands on her hips, gold sparks of magic hissing all around her fingertips. “Well, at least I have someone to make out with. You, Rory Forseti? You’d be lucky to get a prowler to kiss you. C’mon. Let’s get out of here.”
She grabbed the guy’s hand, and they both turned around, went back through the door, and clomped down the stairs. I grimaced, trying not to let the Valkyrie’s words get to me, but she was right. Everybody hated me, guys included. I didn’t have any friends here, much less an actual boyfriend, and I never would.
An arrow of hurt shot through my heart, but I ignored the sting, went over to the balcony railing, and looked down. On the first floor below, kids laughed, talked, and texted in the chairs by the fireplace, while others stood in line in front of the coffee cart, nibbling on cinnamon rolls, cheese Danish, and other pastries while they waited for their espressos and cappuccinos. A few truly dedicated students hunched over their laptops and textbooks at the study tables, concentrating on their homework. They all looked so relaxed and carefree. The tension, worry, and threat of Loki and his Reapers had finally been lifted, and everyone was happier than they had ever been.
Everyone except me.
Now that I had the reference books for my term paper, I should go downstairs, check them out, and leave the library. But the second I set foot on the first floor, all the kids would start watching me again like they had before. My breath escaped in a long, weary sigh. I couldn’t take any more harsh, accusing glares. Not right now, anyway.
I would much rather stay up here by myself than listen to the other students’ snarky whispers and cruel snickers. So I set my books aside and plopped down on the floor in front of Sigyn’s statue.
“I guess it’s just you and me now,” I said.
I stared up at Sigyn, hoping that she would open her eyes, nod her head, or give me some other indication that she knew what I was going through. That she would give me some small sign of hope, friendship, or at least encouragement like the animal statues outside had with their winks earlier. But Sigyn remained utterly still, her face frozen in the same sorrowful expression as before. I waited one minute, then two, then three, but the goddess didn’t respond, so I sighed again as I cracked open the first reference book and pulled a pen and a notepad out of my messenger bag.
The first day wasn’t even over yet, but I could already tell it was going to be a long, long school year.
Chapter Four
The first reference book was very dry, long-winded, and boring, and so were all the others. I tried to concentrate and take notes, really I did, but after a while, the words swam together before my eyes, and my pen and notepad slowly slipped from my hands…
I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, I was sprawled against Sigyn’s statue, my face mashed up against the cold, smooth white marble.