No, says Elder Lian. It’s too dangerous. If you’re known to them as the specific threat that might bring back the pixius, then you shouldn’t be out there.
And yet that is exactly why she must be in the midst of it, counters Elder Chen serenely. She is the connection. She cannot hide away if it is her very presence that will affect the transformation of what is to come.
It will still be chaotic out there, I say. Although I am speaking to everyone gathered, I purposely make eye contact with Li Wei. Something tells me he is the one who will need the most convincing that I should be in the line of danger. And although the soldiers may have my description, most haven’t actually seen me. They won’t think I’m different from any other villager.
Elder Lian nods thoughtfully. Perhaps we can help. Perhaps there is a way to make you harder to detect.
After a bit of consultation, a boy among the servants is forced to exchange his outfit for mine. Although I am still wearing pilfered boy clothes, these new ones are dull in color and more likely to blend in with the other villagers rather than mark me in the telltale blue of the apprentices. Elder Ho, to my surprise, gives me his hat, a small, nondescript cloth one that nonetheless hides much of my hair and is something generally only seen on men. A healthy dose of dirt smudged on my face goes a long way to complete the illusion.
There, says Elder Lian. At a glance, the soldiers will not think you are the girl they’re looking for. Most of our own people probably won’t notice you either. I imagine they have bigger concerns now anyway.
We discuss a few more points of strategy, and I am startled when several among the apprentices and servants want to come with us. We want to add our voices, explains the boy whose clothes I wear. Besides, you won’t be spotted so quickly if you’re in a group.
The elders agree but want to hold some people back just in case. While they make their choices, I try to remain patient, but the need to act burns within me, making me restless. I have one last hope about where Zhang Jing is, and I want to investigate it.
Li Wei catches me swiping at the dirt on my face. I can feel it and have to stop myself from wiping it off.
I look ridiculous, I remark to him.
He turns to me, touching my chin softly, the ghost of a smile on his lips. You’re as beautiful as ever. When this is over, we’ll find a reason for you to wear the red dress again.
I shake my head, feeling a tangle of emotions in my chest. I still can’t believe you’re here. You were captured because of me. . . .
Fei, I was captured because you were brave enough to return here. To save our village. You think it’s your artistic skill that’s your greatest strength? It’s not. It’s your courage. There is something in his eyes as he says this, something powerful and heated that reaches to my heart.
The elders give their blessings for our journey, and with that, we are finally on our way. Li Wei and I, along with our small cohort, traipse back out through the darkened tunnel, down to where Jin Luan still stands guard. She looks understandably startled to see all of us, more so when she finds out we’re leaving.
You’re going back out there? she exclaims. You’re crazy!
Possibly, I agree.
But her job is to stop people from getting in, not prevent them from leaving. She steps aside so that we can pass, and she surprises me with the first genuine smile I’ve ever received from her. Good luck, Fei.
Li Wei goes first, climbing up the ladder that leads into the woods and peering around to ascertain no guards are present. When he deems it safe, he beckons for the rest of us to follow. There are seven of us in total, and as we all gather there in the woods behind the school, I notice it is quieter. Earlier, when Li Wei and I had made our frantic trip here, I’d still been able to hear screams and destruction. I wonder if that means the soldiers have rounded up most of the village.
Now, begins Li Wei, I think our best plan is—
Not yet, I interrupt.
He looks at me in astonishment. What? We have to join the other prisoners.