I shake my head and look away, unable to convey what’s truly in my heart. How can I explain that I have thought about him every day since we parted? That in that first year of officially being an apprentice, I constantly questioned whether I’d made the right choice in walking away from him? My desire to make art and for Zhang Jing’s security got me through many low moments.
My eyes come to rest on the bowl, and I suddenly stiffen. Now that I’m looking at the larger picture and not the individual shards, I notice that although the main design depicts a phoenix, the border appears to be a mix of all sorts of animals, both real and imagined. I see tigers, qilins, cranes, elephants, dragons, and more. I pick up each piece one by one and feel that strange tugging in my chest.
What’s wrong? Li Wei asks.
I set down a shard with a pixiu and a deer on it. This one in particular seems to resonate with me. Nothing. Just something from a dream.
The same dream that keeps disturbing your sleep? he asks sagely.
It’s not important, I say. I start to avoid his gaze again, and he reaches out, tipping my chin up so that I must meet his eyes.
Fei, you know you can trust me. I’m here for you. I always have been and always will be. Tell me what’s wrong.
You can’t keep rescuing me, I say.
Of course not, he agrees. You can rescue yourself—but perhaps I can give you a hand now and then.
I smile faintly, but there is an ache in my chest as I think back to that long-ago day, trapped in the rubble when a beautiful, glittering boy held out his hand to pull me out. A moment later I find myself telling him everything about the night my hearing came to me and the dream I had of everyone in our village opening their mouths in a single cry.
You think this pull you’ve been feeling is tied to your hearing? To why it returned? he asks.
I don’t know, I admit. I don’t understand why any of this happened to me.
I want to say more, but over his shoulder, I see Lu Zhu going about her work. Her pretty face is drawn with worry, and I remind myself I must help these people first. I can give in to my own worries later. I paint with a renewed vigor, conscious that time is pressing upon us. When I finally finish and compare my copy to the broken one, I am more than pleased at what I’ve wrought.
You did it, Li Wei says. It’s a perfect match.
Not a perfect match, I say. My blue is darker than the original.
Well, I’m no painter, but it looks amazing to me. His eyes lift to something behind me. And not a moment too soon.
I turn and see Xiu Mei hurrying through the door toward us. Our master is returning! she tells us once she reaches our table. I saw him on the way back and was just able to get ahead of him and— She stops when she sees my bowl, looking back and forth between it and the broken pieces I copied. That’s it? You did this?
I nod, suddenly feeling flustered. I can’t interpret her expression, and I fear the worst, that she’ll tell me it’s a ridiculous imitation and that I’ve just given her and her father a death sentence.
I don’t know what’s more incredible, she says, that you did it at all or that you did it in so short a time. There are renowned masters in the capital who would fight to take you on as an apprentice.
I already have a great master, I say proudly, thinking of Master Chen.
Xiu Mei gets rid of the broken pieces and then hands the copied bowl to her father. Careful of the wet paint, he cautiously places it on the shelf just minutes before the inn’s master returns. When he walks in the door, I can immediately see how he might order someone beaten for an accident. His face is narrow and drawn, and he has the expression of someone who is perpetually displeased with everything he sees. He scrutinizes the room as he enters, taking in the number of guests and how his employees work. His pinched eyes scan the wall of art but find nothing amiss, and I exhale a breath I hadn’t even realized I was holding. Continuing on his way, he snaps something loud and hostile-sounding at the kitchen boy, who scurries away in fear. The master then approaches Xiu Mei at the podium, and she greets him with a bow. A conversation ensues between them, and after another wary survey, the man stalks away.