He stares at me in confusion and then throws up his arms in disbelief. That is your big decision? To move her to a comfortable, safe job, where she’ll be well fed and face no risks? You actually deliberated about that and think you have anything in common with me or the other miners?
I know his harsh words are born from grief, and I try to respond calmly. I’m saying I know what it’s like to be scared for your loved one in that way. To have your life turned upside down. You aren’t the only one going through this. That earlier urge returns, the one that makes me want to go over and put my arms around him, comforting him as I would have years ago. But I can’t, not when others might see. Not when so much distance has built up between us.
He’s still upset but works to calm himself. Your life has changed, but I wouldn’t say it’s been turned upside down—not yet, he says. And that’s what no one seems to realize, Fei. Everyone knows things are bad, but everyone thinks if we just go forward like we always have, it will all be okay. Instead, we’re just moving toward darkness and ruin. Can’t you see that?
I start to reply, but then a sound I’ve never heard before catches my attention. It’s incredible, and I want desperately to hear it again. Unable to help myself, I immediately turn my head toward its source, and I see a flash of blue. It’s a thrush, just like the one I spotted the other day. It’s perched on the branch of a tree, and it opens its mouth, producing that exquisite sound . . . a song? I long for the bird to sing again, but it takes flight and disappears out of sight.
I stare after it, awestruck, and then quickly turn back to Li Wei in embarrassment. He stares at me, understandably confused, and then shakes his head. Clearly, this isn’t a discussion you care about.
No, wait. I do care, I say. But he’s already turned from me. I reach out to grab his arm, and as my fingertips touch his bare skin, he tenses and glances back at me. Something of my heart must be in my eyes, because his expression softens. My hand still rests on his arm, and I am dizzyingly aware that there are only a few scant inches between us. I’m also suddenly reminded that no matter how often we held hands or dreamed of the future, we’ve never actually kissed. There’d always been a spark between us, one we were both hesitant to acknowledge until the day we realized we were being torn apart.
I quickly snatch my hand away and take a step back, hoping my thoughts aren’t obvious. What is your plan then? I ask him. What do you think we should do to save ourselves from darkness and ruin?
He studies me intently for a few more moments, and I’m breathless as that gaze wraps around me. We start by ending this line system, he says at last. It’s what’s enslaving us, what has put us in this miserable situation.
I can’t hide my shock, and for a moment our history is forgotten. And how would we end the line system?
Li Wei points over the cliff’s edge. By going to the line keeper. By getting to the bottom of everything. Either he is a reasonable man who will understand our plight, or he’s a tyrant who must be overthrown.
He isn’t the first person I’ve met who wants to go talk to the line keeper, but as I stare into Li Wei’s eyes, I realize he might be the first person I’ve met who’s truly serious about doing it. And the thought of that suddenly terrifies me. I may have willingly walked away from him when I joined the apprentices, but at least I knew he was still alive and safe in our village—not attempting some impossibly dangerous stunt.
How would you do that? I demand. By climbing down?
Yes, he says, crossing his arms defiantly.