He stared at me, all the grogginess gone. “I scared you? You scared me! What the hell were you trying to—?”
“All right, all right.” I patted his arm. “We can argue about this some other time. Right now you need to rest.” Honestly, I didn’t want to argue about what I almost did at the beach. Not now, not ever.
“You’re going to get an earful later.” He closed his eyes. “Where are Deven, Eklan, and Chael?”
“They were talking to Ceris a few minutes ago. She was explaining everything to them.”
“And their reaction?”
“They seemed surprised.”
“Good or bad surprised?”
“Good surprised. They seemed relieved you’re alive, even if you’re human. She explained about your scepter, and I think they will stay and help us.”
A small smile adorned his battered face. “That’s good. Very good.”
“It is.”
He sighed. “I hate to say this, but Ceris was right. We shouldn’t have gone. It wasn’t worth it.”
When weighing the good and bad, I guessed he was right, butI couldn’t tell him that.
“We have three more allies. That counts for something, doesn’t it?”
His eyes fluttered open, and his jaw tensed. “You heard Dane. They were never my friends. They never cared for me as I cared for them. They hate me.”
I ran my fingertips on his lower arm. “Hey, don’t say that. My guess is Dane lied to you to get under your skin.”
“It worked.” His gaze flickered to my hand on his arm.
I pulled my hand away. “Don’t do that to yourself. Chael, Deven, and Eklan are here, aren’t they? I don’t think they would have come if they hated you. In fact, I think they would have killed you back at the beach when you told them who you are if they hated you, if they didn’t want their master back.”
He scoffed. “Master ... I hate that word.” He slid his hand in mine and squeezed. “Nadine, about the other thing Dane said. About … toys. My toys. I—”
“How about we also continue this conversation another time?” I cut him off, not ready to hear whatever he wanted to tell me. “You should relax and rest now.”
I started pulling my hand away, but he held it tight. “Wait, Nadine. You promised me you wouldn’t try to take your life like before. You broke your promise.”
I averted my eyes. This wasn’t the time to talk about this. Using my hand that he still held, he pulled me closer. “Your soul is mine,” he said in a low, dangerous tone. “You don’t have the right to kill yourself anymore.”
I pressed my lips together, willing the tears away. “I won’t be tortured again. I will take my own life before I let that happen.”
The rage slipped away from his face, replaced by worry. He reached with his other hand and pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear, stroking my skin gently. “I won’t let that happen. Never again. Now promise me you won’t try to take your life again.”
I averted my eyes and shifted my weight. I couldn’t promise that. If someone captured me or if I was tortured, I would kill myself if given the chance. I wouldn’t let my captor use anyone else to get to me. I wouldn’t let anyone else die because of me.
“Nadine, pr—”
I kissed his cheek. “You need to rest. I’ll see you later.” I hurried out of the room as Micah called my name again.
I turned a corner in the hallway and bumped into Deven.
“Oh, sorry,” I said, stepping back.
He offered me a grin, much like Micah’s when he was in a good mood. “No worries. You’re Nadine, right?” I nodded. “I’m Deven. This is Chael”—he gestured to a guy with a military buzz haircut and hazel eyes—“and Eklan.” A guy with smooth black skin, black eyes, and dreadlocks waved at me.
“Hi. Nice to meet you all.”
“I hear you can heal Lord Levi and Lord Mitrus,” Chael said. “That’s cool.”
“Is it true you don’t know what you are?” Eklan asked.
Heat flooded my cheeks. I hated being in the spotlight. “Nobody knows what I am.”
“That must be odd,” Deven said.
I cleared my throat. “It has been a long day. If you'll excuse me, I need to rest.”
Deven stepped out of the way. “Of course. But first, can you tell us which room is Lord Mitrus’s?”
I pointed over my shoulder. “Third door on your right.”
“Great. Thanks.”
I nodded and walked past them. An urge to glance back assaulted me, but I held on. Something about them bugged me, but it was probably because they looked as confident and cocky as Micah, and I had already had enough of that.
Sleep didn’t come easy, and when it came, nightmares crowded it.
Because of that, I was up too early.
I slipped on yoga pants, a tank top, my sneakers, and crept into the kitchen where I whipped up a black coffee and a few pancakes. I left some on a plate for whoever came in first and felt like eating them. I refilled my coffee mug and headed to the gym.
After almost forty minutes of kicking, punching, and sweating, Ceris walked in the gym.
I missed my blow, tripped, and almost fell, my mouth hanging open.
She was wearing sweatpants and a tee, and had tied her hair into a long braid on her back. At that moment, she looked like a mix of Ceris and Cheryl.
A longing pang ran through my chest.
I put my gloved hands over my waist. “What are you doing?”
“Keisha and Micah are hurt, so I thought you could use a hand with training.”
I scoffed. “You? Training with me? I have never seen you close a fist to hit anyone.”
“Well, I prefer using my magic, but when you live long enough, you learn a thing or two. I promise it’ll be time well spent.”
“No, thank you. I can train alone.”
“Not for combat, you can’t.”
“I’ll just punch the dummy, and I don’t need to train for combat every day.”
She laughed. “Says the girl who so desperately wanted to learn how to fight.”
“Well, I did learn. I’m not Keisha, but I’m getting better.”
She walked to the farthest wall and examined the swords. “You know what makes a good fighter? Sparring with different opponents. Everyone has a different fighting style. If you spar with different people, you’ll be better prepared.”
Micah said the same thing, but somehow coming from Ceris, it wasn’t a welcomed statement.
I frowned at her. “Why are you doing this?”
She arched a blond eyebrow at me. “This what?”
“Being nice, helping.”
“It is who I am.”
“Ugh, what a lie,” I muttered.
“Nadine, you may not want to hear this, but I was Cheryl. I am Cheryl. All her worries, all her pep talks, all her smiles and hugs and nice words, they were mine and they were true.”
“I don’t believe you. I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you. After all you did to Victor and me, you think I’ll believe you’re actually a good person? Goddess ... whatever.”
“What do you want from me? Do you want me to say I’m sorry? Well, I’m not sorry. I don’t regret anything I did. If we went back in time and was presented with the same facts, I would do everything the same way again.”
“Even kill innocent people? Like Victor’s parents, his grandfather, his friend, his girlfriend, and even that girl from whom you made the Black Thorn?”