“Let me go!” Brooke yelled, but he didn’t listen. The next thing she felt was the smack of his open palm on her rear end. “Oww!” she cried, feeling the tears spring up in her eyes almost immediately after his hand had landed. She’d never been spanked before. She squirmed and wiggled, trying to get away, but Scott used one of his strong arms to hold her in place. His hand smacked her again.
Tears still ran down Brooke’s cheeks, but instead of crying out, she pressed her lips together as hard as she could and tried not to make a sound, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing he had hurt her. She kept her eyes squeezed shut, and her fingers curled into tight fists, wondering if her real father would have spanked her, if she had ever spent time with him.
When Scott stopped after swatting her twice, Brooke felt numb, despite the way the skin on her rear end throbbed. It was as though something had snapped inside her, and in that moment, she didn’t care about the consequences Jessica and Scott might dole out. As the weeks progressed and her behavior didn’t improve, they tried different ways to discipline her. When she purposely clogged the toilet with Kleenex, they took away her TV-watching privileges. When she refused to help wash the dishes, they didn’t let her have dessert. When she called Lily a bitch—a word she’d heard other kids say at Hillcrest—they put her in time-out. Scott spanked her again after he caught Brooke purposely tripping Lily as they entered the kitchen to eat breakfast. But no punishment worked, because Brooke had already decided that there wasn’t a thing they could do that would hurt her more than her mother already had.
One morning, after Brooke had been living there a couple of months, Lily returned to their room after taking a shower to find Brooke still in bed. “You have to get up,” Lily said, in a snotty tone that made Brooke want to smack her.
“You’re not the boss of me,” Brooke mumbled, burrowing her head under her pillow. “I don’t feel good.” Since losing her mother and Natalie, Brooke rarely felt good. It seemed like there was something heavy growing under her skin—something thick and black, like an infection. Her stomach often burned like there was a fire crackling inside it; acid rose up into her throat when she lay down to try to sleep. The night before, her dreams had been filled with the feeling of chasing her mother, running around corners and up hills, but never finding her. When she woke up, her chest ached and her pillow was wet. She knew her eyes would be swollen and red, and she felt as though she hadn’t slept at all. She didn’t think she could go to school.
“Faker,” Lily said, with contempt. A moment later, Brooke felt her covers being stripped off her body. She slept in a tank top and a pair of underwear; the cold air in the room pinched at her exposed skin.
“Hey!” Brooke yelled, and she leapt up, tackling Lily by pushing her shoulder into the other girl’s waist. They both ended up on the hardwood floor, wrestling, until Brooke grabbed Lily’s thin, wet hair, yanking it as hard as she could.
Lily screamed, and Jessica appeared almost instantly, attempting to tear the two of them apart. “What’s going on?” Jessica demanded when she was finally able to separate them. She stood between the two girls, staring at Brooke as she spoke, making it clear who she assumed was the instigator.
Brooke’s chest heaved, and she watched as Lily’s usually pale pink complexion turned tomato red while she told Jessica that Brooke had tackled her for no reason. “She pushed me over! And pulled my hair!”
“Did you do that, Brooke?” Jessica asked.
“She pulled my covers off first!” Brooke said, shooting a hateful look at Lily. “I told her I didn’t feel good! I might have pneumonia!”
“You’re a liar!” Lily whimpered through her tears.
“I don’t care if you felt bad or not,” Jessica said. “This is unacceptable behavior. Do you understand me, Brooke? I won’t have it.”
“I don’t have to do anything you say!” Brooke screeched.
“Oh, yes you do,” Jessica said. “As long as you’re living here, you’ll follow our rules.”
“I don’t even want to live here!” Brooke yelled. “I want my mom!”
“Too bad!” Lily taunted. “Your mom doesn’t want you!”
As soon as Lily spoke the words, Brooke felt as though her heart had exploded, breaking up into a million pieces. She wanted to tear Lily into shreds. A hot, primal feeling took her over, and she bent her fingers, clawing at Jessica to get away.