Somewhere Out There

“Oh, thank god,” Brooke said through her tears. Natalie still held her hand and now gave it a hard squeeze. “What happened? Where did the pain come from? Why was I bleeding?”

“My guess is the pain was from your ligaments stretching and your hips beginning to expand. For some women, especially first-time mothers, this can hurt quite a lot.” Dr. Patel, an attractive East Indian woman who spoke with a musical lilt, kept her eyes on the screen as she continued to move the wand on Brooke’s stomach.

“What about the bleeding?” Natalie asked.

“It wasn’t much,” Dr. Patel said, “even though I’m sure it felt like it was. We don’t always know what causes it. Possibly too much exertion, or it could be for no real reason at all. The good news is that it stopped, and it didn’t contain any kind of tissue. The baby looks wonderful.” She finally glanced back at Brooke. “How’s your pain?”

Brooke shifted a bit in the hospital bed, trying to gauge her answer. “I’m still a bit achy, but the shooting pains went away.” Her baby looked wonderful, she thought.

“Excellent,” Dr. Patel said. “We’d like to keep you overnight, just to monitor both you and the baby. If all remains well, you can go home tomorrow.”

“But everything is still okay, right?” Brooke asked, anxiously. “The baby’s fine?”

“Yes,” Dr. Patel said. “She looks perfect.”

“She?” Brooke froze. “I’m having a girl?”

“You’re having a girl!” Natalie said, and her brown eyes lit up.

“My apologies,” Dr. Patel said. “I assumed you already knew. I do hope you didn’t want it to be a surprise.”

“No,” Brooke said, and a happy, fluttering feeling filled her chest. “It’s fine. I wanted to know.” She looked at Natalie, unable to deny that she was thrilled to have her sister with her as she received this news.

Dr. Patel stood. “The nurse will be back in a bit to finish the admit process, and I’ll update your regular obstetrician. Congratulations!”

Brooke thanked her, and after she’d left, Natalie finally let go of her sister’s hand and sat down in the chair next to the bed. They were both quiet, not looking at each other. Brooke wasn’t sure that she forgave Natalie completely, but she did know that she’d never been as happy to see anyone in her life as she was when her sister showed up. That had to count for something.

The only sounds in the room were the steady beeps coming from the monitors to which Brooke was attached. She wished she knew exactly what to say, how to express the crazy mix of emotions rushing through her. Foremost she was relieved, but she also felt wary, unsure of how to navigate a conversation about finding the background check in her sister’s kitchen that day. But having met Natalie, having spent just a few precious weeks with her, Brooke knew she needed to find a way to work things out—she couldn’t deprive her daughter of the same thing Brooke had been denied. She couldn’t allow a single argument to ruin the one chance at having a family she’d ever had.

“Thanks for coming,” Brooke finally said, in a soft voice. She looked at her sister, searching her face for some clue to whether Natalie was here out of a sense of duty or because she truly wanted to come.

“I thought you’d be pissed,” Natalie said, and the tension in her face visibly relaxed.

“But you came anyway.” Brooke paused, and gave her sister a wry smile. “We’re both stubborn. So there’s that.”

Natalie’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m so sorry, Brooke. I can’t apologize enough for hurting you. I never meant—”

“It’s okay,” Brooke said, holding up her hand to stop Natalie from saying more. “I get it. Kyle ran the report without telling you, and I understand why he did. If I was him, I probably would have done the same thing. Let’s just leave it at that.”

Natalie eyed her for a moment, looking as though she were trying to decipher whether or not to take Brooke at her word. “Okay,” she said.

And then Brooke asked the question that had been in the back of her mind since the last day they’d seen each other. The day she’d given Natalie the box filled with the details of their birth mother’s life. “Have you seen her yet?”

The look on Natalie’s face told Brooke her sister knew to whom she referred, and Natalie shook her head.

Brooke’s eyebrows both rose. “Why not?”

“I’m not sure. I guess I’m afraid.”

“That she’ll reject you?” Brooke asked. Her voice was barely above a whisper. This was another reason why Brooke had stayed in her car when she drove to her mother’s clinic—she could never work up the courage to face the possibility that the mother who had let her go over three decades ago would simply turn her away.

“Yeah. I think that’s probably it.”

“Me, too,” Brooke admitted. And then she spoke again, before she could change her mind. “Maybe it would be easier if we saw her together.”

Natalie looked at her. “Really? Are you sure?”

“No,” Brooke said, wondering if she would regret what she’d just offered to do. “But it has to be better than either one of us going alone.”





Jennifer

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