“I guess I just felt it then. Like Monica did everything right—college, marriage, children—and I was the fuckup.”
“That is not me talking.” She crossed her arms and lifted her chin. “My grandchildren are the light of my life and every one of them was destined to enter this world and be loved to pieces by me, whether they were a surprise or not. And your dad and I did not raise any fuckups.”
I had to smile at hearing her use that word, but it was short-lived. “You criticized me so much as Scotty got older that it made me feel that way. Like you thought I couldn’t possibly be mature or smart enough to handle parenting a child on my own.”
“Not once did I think that. All parents criticize their children’s parenting skills! It’s our right as grandparents!”
I considered that. “Maybe I was extra sensitive, then. I already felt bad enough that Scotty was going to grow up without a mother, and as he grew and it was clear he wasn’t a typical kid, I felt even less sure of myself.”
My mother leaned forward and spoke softer. “I could see that, Levi. So I tried to help the best way I could. I managed to raise two beautiful, smart, amazing people. I thought I had something to offer you.”
“You did,” I said. “You offered me and Scotty a home and helped me take care of him when he was a baby. I needed that, and I’m so grateful. But I got to a point where I really wanted to find my way on my own, and I couldn’t do that living in your house.”
Her shoulders slumped a bit. “I see your point. It’s hard not to mother your child just because he’s an adult, especially when he lives with you. I guess I saw you struggling and couldn’t resist trying to make it all better.”
“You can’t.” My tone was firm.
“Back to two words, huh?”
I cracked a tiny smile.
“I saw that,” she teased. Sighing, she sat up straight again. “OK. So no more criticizing. I will listen when you need to talk and try my very hardest to let you do things your way and not say a word, even if I disagree.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that.”
“And in return,” she went on smoothly, “please tell me more about Jillian. Monica said she hasn’t met Scotty?”
“Not yet.” I focused on the other half of my sandwich.
“I think that’s wise, really I do.”
I looked at her to see if she was being facetious, but her expression was earnest. “I think you two need time to get to know each other before you bring her into his life.”
“I agree.”
“You don’t want to introduce her too soon and confuse Scotty about who she is, especially if it doesn’t work out. And for her sake, you don’t want to make it seem like you’re simply looking for a replacement mother.”
“She would never think that. And it couldn’t be further from the truth.”
“Plus you need time alone together. Romantic time,” she said authoritatively. “Just because one of you has a child doesn’t mean you shouldn’t treat her to a proper courtship.”
I almost laughed. Yes, that’s exactly what I was doing against her refrigerator Saturday night. Treating her to a proper courtship. “What was that about promising not to meddle?”
He face went blank as she picked up her Diet Coke. “I never said anything about not meddling. No mother in her right mind would ever promise not to meddle. I promised not to criticize so much.”
“Oh.”
“And anyway, I hope you’ll like this meddling, because I want to do something for you.”
“What’s that?”
She grinned. “How about if Dad and I come down and stay with Scotty for a weekend? Or even a night? Don’t get mad, but Monica told me what happened Saturday night. I felt terrible for you.”
I groaned, setting my sandwich down. “Fucking Monica.”
“Well, you know she can’t keep a secret, darling. You can’t lie and she can’t keep a secret. That’s always been the way you two are.”
I sucked up some iced tea, wondering if it was too early for some whiskey.
“Anyway,” she went on breezily. “What do you think of my offer? I promise to do everything exactly the way you want me to. Scotty can stick to his regular routine in his normal environment, your dad and I get some quality time with him, and you get alone time with your lady friend.”
My lady friend. Jillian would love that one.
Should I do it? God, I was so tempted. If she meant what she said, and she’d stick to Scotty’s routine without any “improvements” or surprises, he might be OK. Staying at Monica’s had been a change in routine and a change in environment. This had the potential to go a lot smoother. Maybe I’d try it for a night, and if it went well, we could do a weekend eventually.
“OK, Mom. I’ll take you up on the offer.”
She clapped her hands together. “Good!”
“But you have to do it exactly like you said. Follow the routine to the letter. And call me at the first sign of a meltdown.”
She held up three fingers. “Scout’s honor.”
“In that case, what’s your weekend like?”
“I’m all yours.”