Jesus. Fucking. Christ.
How was it possible that Natalie was even better in my bed than she’d been in my head? No woman should have been able to live up to the idealized version of her that I’d dreamed about, but not only did she look gorgeous naked, have a deliciously sweet *, and insist on sucking my dick, but she was playful enough to let me spank her, submissive when I wanted her to be, and yet unafraid to take what she wanted from me. To ask for it. And the way she looked up at me when I was inside her—like she’d never been with anyone else. Like she’d waited for me all this time. Like she was mine.
It was almost enough to make me believe it.
But then, everything with us was always almost.
I almost lost control when she pinched my nipple.
I almost asked to fuck her without a condom.
I almost told her I loved her when it was over.
Almost.
She’d changed the subject and gotten out of bed before I could embarrass myself, thank God, and I’d had a few minutes to regain my fucking sanity. Then we cuddled up close and I’d had every intention of letting her close those big blue eyes and get some sleep.
But her ass…it was right there next to my dick, and I cannot be responsible for ideas my dick gives me when it’s close to her ass. I just can’t. Even when the idea is to bite it so hard she screams.
And then it was like magic, because instead of telling me to fuck off and leave her be, she turned to me and opened her arms. And her legs. And her lips. It didn’t even feel real. Was it just make-believe, like all the games we used to play?
I want you, she said.
I trust you, she said.
Give me everything, she said.
That was my favorite—give me everything.
I would. I would give her everything.
Even if it was only make-believe.
The next day at work should have been miserable. I think Miles and I might have slept for half an hour, but even after we did it a second time, we found it hard to sleep. Our bodies were tired, but we kept making jokes, or kicking one another, or bringing up a childhood memory that made us laugh. The entire night was just ours, like we existed outside of time, in our own little world. Granted, the beginning of the evening was a bit shaky, and there were plenty of cracks on his part about my drunken attempt at seduction, but by five AM when we stumbled out to his Jeep, shushing each other because my parents’ house was right next door, exhausted and sore and smiling, I was convinced it had been the best night of my life. Not just because of the sex, but because it was the lightest I’d felt in I couldn’t remember how long. I had no clue what the hell was going on with my life, but for once, I didn’t care.
Miles drove me to my house and dozed on the couch while I took a two-minute shower and changed, then he insisted on coming into the shop with me and helping me open up. I told him it wasn’t necessary, but he said he’d work for buns, so I let him stay.
We were like two goofy kids all morning, snickering whenever we made eye contact, making jokes about glazing buns, and sometimes just dropping everything to kiss—he’d back me up against the giant stainless refrigerator, I’d jump up and straddle him out of nowhere, he’d corner me in the walk-in pantry.
It was silly and sexy and exactly what I needed, so I didn’t dwell on the fact that in the three years since I’d owned this shop, not once had Dan ever come in to help me open up. I don’t even think he’d ever offered—if I’d stayed the night at his place, he drove me to my condo and went right back home, or he’d let me take his car.
But Miles…Miles stayed with me.
So all morning I ignored my phone when I saw that it was Dan calling, and I never opened any of his texts. If he showed up, I’d kick his sorry ass right out.
When Hailey arrived, I could see her looking back and forth between Miles and me, wondering what was going on with us. I’d introduced him as an old friend the other day, but even though she was barely out of her teens, I think she knew better. The air between us crackled with sexual energy.
At around noon, the caffeine buzz started to wear off. “Oh my God,” I said, slumping onto the kitchen counter. “I’m dying. I’m not gonna make it.”
“Yes, you will.” Miles was on dish duty, loading cups and plates and silverware into the washer since I’d asked Hailey to be more visible up front today. My puffy eyes with dark circles underneath were not fit to be seen out there.
“I’m not. I’m gonna die. Need sleep.”
“We’re gonna nap so hard when we’re done here, Nat. I’m serious. Fucking gold medal nap.”
“Nap. Naaaaaaaaap,” I moaned.
“A couple more hours. You can do it.” He came over and took me by the shoulders, straightening me up. “Hey. You’re taking the day off tomorrow. You work too hard.”
I laughed weakly, but I felt like crying. “I can’t do that.”
“Yes, you can. And you will. If I have to pay your staff myself, you are doing it.”