“What the fuck are you looking for?” I ask.
“Salsa, man.” Agitation sharpens his words. “You can’t have chips without salsa.” His daggered amber eyes meet mine for a fraction of a second. “Have I taught you nothing, big brother?”
“I don’t have any.”
His face falls like I killed something he loves. It’s a fucking expression that nearly makes me respond with, I’ll go out and get some for you right now.
“This party can’t be called a party.” Lo shuts the pantry door. “You know what it is now? A social—the hosts spread out things like hummus and carrots, and they expect everyone to talk long enough that they’ll forget about real goddamn food. You brought me to a social, bro.” He opens his bag of chips. “I’ll never forgive you for this.”
His sarcasm is so thick.
“What is that in your fucking hand?” I question. “That’s real fucking food.”
He crunches on a chip. “It’s not real without salsa.”
For fuck’s sake. I open my fridge and find tomatoes, lime, some onion and…yeah, cilantro. Lo doesn’t really cook, but I do.
While he eats and our children play, I start making his fucking salsa, and I have to ask him something. It’s killing me. I can’t keep it in any fucking longer.
I grab a cutting board, and he sits on the counter beside me. “Something happened yesterday,” I say beneath my breath. I check over my shoulder, but the door is closed and the girls haven’t returned yet.
It’s likely they’re talking in private by the car.
Lo tenses, a chip stopping midair by his mouth. He drops his hand. “Is it your leg?”
After my climbing accident, my right leg has been fucked, but physical therapy has helped. I don’t have a limp anymore, but the ache has stayed. I ignore the dull throb in my knee, and it only grows if I don’t stretch morning and night.
“No.” I shake my head.
Lo lowers his voice. “Dad?”
“No.”
My relationship with my dad is better than it has been in the past, but I won’t let him watch Sullivan without me there. I never fucking will.
“Look…” I just try to come out with it. “I don’t want to break her fucking heart, but something happened and—”
“Did you fucking cheat on her?” I’ve seen that malicious, spiteful, I will murder you and everything you fucking love look in my brother’s eyes, all directed at me—but not in a long time.
“No, fuck no,” I force.
His cheekbones are weapons directed at me, but he tries to relax. “You suck at this, you know?” He means delivering bad news.
I rake a hand through my hair. “I fucking know.” This hasn’t changed, but at least I’m trying to say it rather than letting these things eat at everyone.
“You’re making it seem worse than I bet it is.”
I start dicing the tomatoes and onion. “Yeah…” My stomach twists. “Yesterday, Sulli said her first word and Daisy was in the shower.” We decided that dada and mama sound too much like noises than words, so we agreed her first one would be something else.
She was waiting to hear our daughter say her first word. This has been on her fucking mind.
Realization washes over my brother’s sharp features. “That’s it?”
“She doesn’t want to fucking miss anything like that, and she missed it.” I hate feeling like I took something from Daisy. I want to give her everything in this entire fucking world.
“What was the word?”
“Are you serious?” I glower. “That’s not fucking important in all of this.”
“It was ‘fuck’ wasn’t it?” He almost starts laughing.
I toss a dishrag at his face. “Fuck you. And yeah, so what if it was fuck?” A growl sticks to my throat and I dice these fucking onions more forcefully.
“Lily owes me fifty bucks, that’s why,” Lo retorts.
I’m not surprised they bet on my kid. We’ve bet on theirs for fun too. “No, Lily doesn’t, not if I never fucking mention this to Daisy…” I trail off at his grimace. “What?”
“Don’t lie, man. Take it from someone who is a world-renowned liar, you don’t want to do it here. It might be the easier thing, but it’s not goddamn better.”
Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
“She’ll be happy it happened at all,” he tries to assure me. “You’re overthinking this.”
“Yeah…I probably am,” I mutter. I nod to him. “Thanks. I’ll fucking tell her.” And then I stupidly rub my fucking eyes with my onion-juiced fingers. “Motherfucker.” My eyeballs scald and sting. I sprint to the fucking sink, turn on the faucet, and stick my head underneath it.
I rinse my eyes quickly and only relax when water gushes across them.
Lo pops another chip into his mouth. “I take it back. This social isn’t half-bad.”
I flip him off.
Hopefully we’ll be saying the same exact thing when Connor arrives.
{ 9 }
January 2019
Cobalt Inc. Offices
Philadelphia
LILY HALE
Why am I always in charge of making sure Connor doesn’t flee his birthday party?
I text Lo.
I need an explanation because this duty seems too important for someone like me. For his 28th and 29th birthdays, Connor never actively tried to leave the country on January 3rd, but still, someone more astute and capable should be the watchdog.
Like Rose or Ryke.
I have talents. I know I do, but being responsible for a certified genius going from point A (his work) to point B (the party) is not one of them. The genius will outwit me.
I bite my nails, my nerves rocketing. No one understands how much pressure is attached to this one task. If Connor doesn’t show up to his party, that’s on me.
I ascend the Cobalt Inc. elevator to his office. and squeeze my hands beneath my pits to stop biting my nails. I mutter to myself, “You look like Mary Katherine Gallagher from Superstar.” I will not sniff my hands like that SNL character. Nope. Not happening.
While I’m alone on this elevator, I keep muttering encouragements. “Rose insisted that he won’t bail, and you believe her, don’t you?” I nod. Rose wouldn’t lie to me. “You have instructions. You know what to do, Lily Hale.”
I nod more confidently.
The instructions: Bring Connor Cobalt to Ryke and Daisy’s cottage for a surprise party.
Rose’s disclaimer: Don’t fuck up.
So she didn’t say that outright, but her narrowed eyes contained too many punishments and threats. I was sweating when she just told me to get in the car. Shit, I’m definitely still sweating. I waft my plain black long-sleeve shirt, my black coat two sizes too big but it warms my legs. I’m not dressed properly for Cobalt Inc. since I just wear boots and leggings as bottoms, but I don’t think Connor will care.
I did remember to wash my hair today, so there’s that.
My phone pings just as the elevator doors whoosh open.
Because you’re the best at it, love – Lo Riiiight. I don’t believe him, not even a little bit.
I step out of the elevator and then notice an incoming second text.
And he’ll feel too guilty to ditch you – Lo Would Connor feel badly about deserting someone like me? Maybe. He was my tutor before he was my friend, and even Connor Cobalt the Tutor wouldn’t abandon me if I needed him.
And I do need him.
I need him to behave and follow my orders.
My nose crinkles. This’ll be interesting.
I pocket my phone and search for Connor through the hallways. People busily bustle around, dressed in suits and pin skirts. All walk with purposeful strides, no one really loiters. I’d say this floor resembles the offices in Mad Men, but there’s no smoking or alcohol and there are more male receptionists and females in their own offices.
I try to be a fly on the wall, but as I head towards Connor’s corner office, eyes latch onto me. The gold nameplate on his door reads: Connor Cobalt, CEO of Cobalt Inc.
Just before I grab the knob, a man in a sleek navy suit and skinny tie slips in front of me, extending his arm to physically block me out of the way. I’m forced to take two steps back.