“I love it!” I squealed then Niall offered up a bag of goodies to me full of all the things I’d asked for. I took out my emotional support coconut and balanced it on Jack’s thigh as I rifled through the things until I found what I needed most. My chocolate. I tore into the wrapper with my teeth and took a huge bite, moaning as the sweet goodness rolled over my tongue.
“Thank you,” I sighed, eating a few more bites of it before jumping up from my nest and leaping onto the coffee table with my gavel and block in hand. “Now I want to make some new laws! Firstly, I’m officially outlawing the word moist in this house. It’s icky and no one needs to use it ever again on pain of death.” I held the block in the opposite hand to my gavel then struck it with a bang that made the new law official.
“Death,” Jack laughed and the deep tenor of the sound gave me the shivers.
“Yup. Death!” I cried as Niall dropped down onto my seat and hugged my hot water bottle to his chest. Mateo shifted away from him with a moody expression on his face, but found he couldn’t get far as Brutus jumped up to sit beside him with a low snarl.
“My next law is that all Pops in this house are officially under my rule. On pain of death!” I hit the block again.
“Now wait a minute-” Niall started, but I talked over him.
“Another rule is that when I take my morning poop, I want coconut smelling toilet paper for wiping. The good stuff, the thick and yummy stuff so I can sniff it while I poop – on pain of death!” I struck the block again.
“You’d better put another order in then, bastardo. Or don’t, then I’ll watch Brooklyn murder you over her morning shit.” Mateo sniggered at Niall.
“But if I kill Hellfire, I’ll have to kill myself remember, Dead Man?” I said sweetly and his snigger stuttered out.
“Whatever, I’ll get her the toilet paper, but let’s circle back to the Pops.” Niall turned to me again. “You don’t have the jurisdiction to make laws on my Pops.”
“The law is made,” I said firmly. “Now, for my final law of the day. I am officially forming our club, the Society of Psychos. I, Brooklyn Niall O’Brien-”
“You only took my last name when ya married me-”
“I.” I spoke louder over him, repeating myself. “Brooklyn Niall O’Brien, am the first and founding member of the Society of Psychos, the second member is my husband, Niall Meadow.”
“No, no, no,” Niall huffed. “I didn’t take your surname. Ya just took mine.”
“If you have a complaint to make, Mr Meadow, can you write it down and put it in the suggestion box.” I nudged a box of tissues towards him with my toe.
Niall got to his feet, still hugging the hot water bottle to his stomach. “You are Brooklyn O’Brien, and I’m yer husband, Niall O’Brien.”
I toed the suggestion box closer to him. “In the box please, sir.” I hit the block with my gavel again and Niall huffed, walking across the room to fetch a writing pad and a pen.
“Now, the third member of the club is Mateo Meadow,” I said brightly.
“No,” Niall snapped, twisting around as he finished folding up his suggestion. “He ain’t got yer name. He’s Mateo Ortega. Yer not married to him in any way, yer mine.”
“Hm, well maybe I should marry the rest of you so that it’s fair,” I said thoughtfully.
“No,” Niall hissed as Mateo and Jack sat up straighter. He was being such a negative Nancy today.
“I’ll put a pin in that idea.” I plucked an imaginary pin from the air and pinned the thought above my head. “So, the third member is Mateo Oregano-”
“Ortega,” Mateo corrected.
“Ortega,” I amended, then struck Gavin the gavel on my block. “The fourth member is Angry Jack and the fifth is Brutus.” I struck the gavel twice. “So, now that we’re a killing club, we need someone to kill.”
Niall walked over and slid his suggestion into the tissue box and I wafted him back to his seat.
“Hellfire.” I snapped my fingers at him just as he sat down. “Fetch my killing rock.”
“I’m not yer little bitch, and we ain’t a club,” he said, folding his arms stubbornly. “I’m gonna spank ya in a minute.”
“We are a club, Hellfire,” I growled.
“People usually vote before laws are passed, you’ve become a dictator and you’ve barely had that gavel five minutes,” Niall said. “I’m gonna take it back from ya and use yer ass as a block.”
I bit my lip, liking the sound of that, but we had important official things to do, I couldn’t get distracted by some judge / naughty jury member roleplay. At least not right now.
“Fine, we’ll have a vote. Who votes that we’re a club?” I raised my hand and Mateo and Jack shared a smirk before raising theirs too. “Brutus?” I asked and Mateo took hold of his paw, risking a snappy as he lifted it up.
“Hey,” Niall barked. “That’s not fair.”
“You’re outvoted, bastardo,” Mateo purred, his eyes glittering with victory as he turned to me. “Can we vote for a member to be your little bitch now, mi sol? I’d like to put Niall forward as a candidate.”
“All in favour of Niall being my little bitch say ‘pie’,” I said and Mateo and Jack echoed it back to me.
“For heaven’s sake,” Niall spat. “I ain’t being yer little bitch.”
I struck my block with Gavin. “Motion passed. Please fetch my killing rock, Hellfire.”
“No,” he snarled, throwing my hot water bottle across the room in anger.
I pouted, looking to Jack imploringly. “AJ, he’s not cooperating and you’re my new law enforcer.” I struck my block and Jack got to his feet, dragging Niall up after him, muscles straining between the two of them as Niall fought him. It made me all hot and flustered as I looked between Officer AJ and my little bitch Niall.
Niall lunged toward me suddenly, snatching Gavin and Blocky from my grip before jumping onto the table, knocking me right off of it with his big meaty shoulder. I stumbled and Jack steadied me as Niall gazed down at us with a demonic look, getting drunk on the power of Gavin, just as I had. Oh no, what have we done bringing Gavin into our world? He’s going to corrupt us. Oh wait, we’re a bunch of murderous criminals with no morals. He can’t make us any worse. Or can he?
“I’m the ruler of this kingdom,” Niall growled, bashing Gavin down on Blocky so hard I swear I heard him squeak in pain. “I’m yer emperor, yer monarch, yer prince of death. This is my land and I’ll spread terror across it, turning every light corner dark. You’re my pack of heathens and I make the rules, but I’m a reasonable prince, and I’ll bow to my ruthless princess when needed to ensure her needs are met. So the club stays. The Society of Psychos we are, and there’s one enemy left in this world written on her rock. It’s a cold-blooded armadillo, who we’ll find even if we have to turn over every rock in-”
“Um, Niall. There’s no armadillo. We had this discussion.” I rolled my eyes, jogging across the room to the cabinet where I’d last seen my rock. I took it out and moved to join Niall on the table, reading out the name I’d inscribed on it.
“Señor Castillo,” I said in a low and ominous voice and Mateo lurched to his feet.
“Castillo?” he spat.
“A fuckin’ cartel man?” Niall asked in surprise, his eyebrows sailing up, up and away toward his hairline.
Jack’s shoulders tensed and his eyes darkened in recognition of that name too.
I glanced between them all with my lips parted in an O. “You know him?”
“Which one? There’s plenty of Castillo scum in the world. Which one hurt you, mi sol?” Mateo moved towards me, all rage and murder in his expression as I saw the vow in him to kill the man who’d made himself my enemy.
“He was the one who they took me to when they stole me from the bridge,” I said, unsure how else to describe him. “He looked at me like I was a cow with a bow in its hair, and he had to judge how pricey I could be. He was the one who sold me first.”
“You were in America when they took you?” Mateo confirmed, his eyes dark as pitch and I nodded.