If Kinsey waited, chances are Ryder wouldn’t tell her what had happened. Now, with Con, she might have an ally. “Since you and Con know what occurred, it’s me who you don’t want to find out.”
“Kins,” Ryder began before he blew out a breath. “It’s nothing.”
“Then tell me,” she pleaded. She wasn’t sure how she knew that it was important. Maybe it was the way Con spoke about it or how Ryder wanted to quickly discard any mention of it.
It might have been three years since she and Ryder were together, but she realized he was still very much the same man she remembered. Whenever he didn’t want to talk about something, he pretended it didn’t matter.
“You used to do this,” she said. “Whenever I’d ask about your family or your past, you would pretend that it was no big deal and change the subject. Remember the times I caught you staring at the night sky? I’d ask what was wrong. You would tell me you were just fine. But you weren’t. Just as you aren’t now.”
Ryder briefly closed his eyes. “All of us go to the mountain to shift from time to time. We need to feel our true forms.”
“Do you go every morning?”
He shook his head.
But this morning, after a night in her bed when she said she wasn’t sure if she could forgive him? Did she send him to the mountain? Did her words cut him that deep?
She could barely draw in a breath at the thought. Kinsey didn’t want to hurt him. One night in his arms and everything changed.
No, that wasn’t true. She’d always been in love with him. Her anger had carried her through the last three years, but as soon as she saw him, she was his once more. She just hadn’t been able to admit it.
Until now.
“Things aren’t all right, Ryder,” she said and walked to him. She put her hand on his chest, over his heart. “You and the other Kings have been in control for a long time, but Ulrik has changed the game. It’s okay to admit it.”
Ryder’s gold, green, and blue eyes held hers. “Nay, it’s no’ all right to admit.”
“You can’t tackle a problem properly without at first admitting there is a problem.”
“We all know who the problem is. Ulrik. The Dark,” Ryder stated angrily.
“And your problem? What’s bothering you?”
He made a face. “I doona have a problem.”
“We all have problems. You’re a Dragon King. You can admit your problem.”
Ryder started to turn away, then stopped. “You! You, Kinsey Burns, are my problem. Because I can no’ have you.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Kinsey had feared she was what bothered Ryder, but to hear it from his lips. And the way he said it—as if admitting it was the last thing he wanted to do.
The longing in his voice nearly broke her. She stared into his hazel eyes and melted. With thirteen simple words, he blasted his way through the walls around her heart.
And it scared her as nothing else could.
Her heart and soul were fully exposed, as if she were standing naked in the hallway. Ryder watched her with expectation and hope. Everything she wanted was right before her. She just had to have the strength—and guts—to take the chance again.
She knew Ryder’s secrets now. For three days she’d lived in his world.
Because I can no’ have you.
Kinsey wanted to rest her head on his chest and wrap her arms around him. She wanted to lean on him once more and let him shoulder her troubles. She wanted to know that he would be with her each morning when she woke.
She wanted the dream she’d once had with Ryder. She wanted it all.
He moved closer to her until their bodies were nearly touching. “Tell me you doona want me. Say the words, Kins, and I’ll never bother you again.”
Was he serious? As if she could say them. She couldn’t have said them the day she arrived at Dreagan, and she certainly couldn’t now.
“I can’t,” she whispered.
He dropped his chin to his chest and sighed, a pleased look passing over his face.
“Perhaps the two of you could continue this after dinner,” Con said.
Kinsey had completely forgotten Con was there. She’d been so absorbed with Ryder that everyone vanished.
Ryder smiled as he lifted his head. “I agree. We’ve already kept the others waiting too long.”
Kinsey found herself walking between two very handsome Dragon Kings. A few days ago, it would’ve been disconcerting. Now, it just seemed like an everyday occurrence.
They got a few steps from the painting before Con said, “I’m pleased you didna think I looked too aggressive.”
Her feet halted as she stared after Con entering the arched entryway to the dining room. Con. The gold dragon was Con? Why hadn’t she thought to ask who it was?
“I was going to tell you it was Con when he walked up and shook his head to stop me,” Ryder said.
Kinsey looked at him and laughed. “At least I didn’t say something stupid.”
“You said everything right. Con is warming to you.”
“Right,” she said with a snort. “I don’t think Con warms to anyone.”
Their conversation ended when they walked into the dining room. The room had an even more inviting and warm look than the rest of the house, if that were possible.