I scrubbed a hand over my stubble-covered jaw. “Nothing.” Nothing I wanted to talk about, anyway. Especially not with Nolan’s judgmental ass.
“I was pounding on your door for fifteen minutes. Called your cell at least a dozen times.”
I shrugged. “I was sleeping, you dick.”
“It’s ...” He glanced down at his wrist watch. “Twelve-fifteen. On a Monday.”
Christ. It was Monday. I’d missed work. I took a deep, sobering breath and I knew things had to change. That final rejection by Finley had sent me into a tailspin. One I hadn’t been able to pull myself out of all weekend long. I was fucking up at work because I was so distracted, consumed by thoughts of her.
And since my work was basically the only thing I had, our little cat-and-mouse game was finally done. Push me away, let me get close again, rinse and repeat. Kiss me like she wanted to ride my dick, then throw me out. I was done. Done bending over backwards and trying to make this work. But what stung even worse than losing a shot with Finley—what really killed me—was losing Maple in the process. They were a package deal. I mean, sure, I could try to maintain my relationship with her, but the way I felt right now, I didn’t know if I had the balls to put myself in a position to get rejected and tossed out again.
Nolan stepped around me and headed inside. “Seriously, dude?” He shot me a questioning look.
I shrugged again, then sank down onto the couch.
“I’ll make some coffee,” he called from the kitchen. I heard him rattling around for a few seconds...and then I heard him talking on his phone. He was giving someone my address. “Yeah, today. And I’ll pay you double.”
I shook my head even though he couldn't see it. “What the hell are you doing?”
He entered the living room with two steaming mugs of coffee. “I hired a cleaning service. They’ll be here in an hour.”
“I have a cleaning lady who comes once a week.”
“Yeah? And if she sees the place like this, she’ll probably never come back. You went on a drunken bender. Trashed the place.”
“It happens.” After some of the shit we’d seen and done, he knew that as well as anyone.
He nodded. “It does. But this time, I’d like to know why it happened.”
I shot him an icy glare. “I tried to open up to you once. At West’s on Friday night. Remember how that discussion went? I don’t care for an instant replay, do you?”
“Ah, fuck.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Maybe I overreacted, alright?”
I took a drink from my mug. “I’m listening.”
Nolan rolled his eyes. “Just tell me what happened first.”
“Well, turns out you were right all along. Shit got too real and she pushed me away, said she doesn’t want to see me again.”
“That’s bullshit. I wasn’t right.” He let out a loud sigh through his nose. “On Friday...I was being a selfish prick. It felt weird to think about moving on from Marcus’s memory. And that’s what would happen if you took up with Finley. He’d be shoved to the backburner. I didn’t like the idea of that. I didn't want anything about our lives to change—even though it was your and Finley's business, not mine. So I just steamrolled you instead of hashing things out like you needed. But after I cooled down and thought about it, I realized you were one hundred percent right. ”
Slightly stunned by his naked honesty, I glanced up at Nolan, waiting for him to continue.
“A single woman on her own and a baby? They do need someone watching out for them. And there’s no better man than you, Grey.”
“Stop.” I didn’t need him blowing smoke up my ass.
“I mean it. You’re the type of man who helps old ladies cross the street and pulls over to help when someone has a flat tire. Christ, you stopped our convoy in Baghdad to save a stray dog from wandering into the line of fire. You’re a good fucking guy, Greyson.”
I continued drinking my coffee, looking out into the backyard. None of it mattered. It didn’t matter if my intentions were good. All Finley saw were my transgressions.
“There’s no one who could be better for her and that baby than you. Marcus would have said so, too. I know it.”
A lump formed in my throat. I wanted him to be right, I wanted this aching in my chest to ease up. But I had a feeling that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. “Doesn’t matter.” I stood up. “Didn’t you hear what I said? She’s done. That’s it. End of story.”
But Nolan rose to his feet, too. “Since when are you a quitter?”