“Thirty waist, 34 inseam.”
“Right, I’ll be back,” I said, my voice too bright, over compensating. “Order whatever you want—I’m starving!” And I placed some bills on the small table.
“You don’t have your shoes,” Ash commented, his voice serious.
“I don’t need them,” I said, not wanting to mention that I couldn’t face forcing my feet into the Louboutins again.
“It’s cold out there, Laney.”
God help me, but I loved the way he said my name.
I felt as though every time I looked into his eyes or let my gaze linger on his hard, beautiful body, my IQ dropped another few points.
“Your shoes?” he prompted.
My sneakers were in my suitcase, but I couldn’t reach my feet to put socks on or to tie laces. I wasn’t going to bother with shoes today.
“I don’t need them,” I argued, unwilling to admit there was something I couldn’t do, especially in front of him.
“You’re stubborn!”
His voice was quietly amused, but it was true. And sometimes stubborn was useful. Stubborn was refusing to give into pain. Stubborn was getting out of bed when my body was screaming not to be moved. Yes, I was stubborn.
“I . . .”
My voice caught as Ash didn’t wait for my reply but rifled through my suitcase and pulled out a pair of red socks.
“Okay?” he asked, his voice edged with uncertainty.
I nodded wordlessly, and then he knelt in front of me again, carefully easing the bright cotton over my feet. He did it all so instinctively with no fuss, no drama.
Tears rose in my eyes as I studied his dark head bent over me, his hair still wet.
He eased my swollen feet into the sneakers and tied them loosely, then handed me my jacket and purse.
“You won’t get cold now.”
“Thank you,” I said weakly.
He opened the door and I wheeled myself out, welcoming the chilly slap of air as I left the building.
Ash’s gentle thoughtfulness moved me more than I wanted to admit, and I wasn’t sure why.
Ash
After she’d gone, I paced the small room.
My thoughts tormented me. I wanted to gouge out my brain so I wouldn’t remember anymore. But I couldn’t. Instead, they preyed on my mind. And I started to think about what would happen when we reached Chicago, whether she would still want to know me. I’d have to tell her father everything if Sergei and Oleg were going to be caught and punished, if Volkov was going to be stopped. But then I’d have to admit how stupid and weak I’d been, how they’d played me. I’d have to admit that I watched helplessly while Oleg murdered the girl, beat the Korean cook to death, and while Marta had been forced into prostitution. I’d watched and known and done nothing.
I’d have to admit what Sergei had done to me, not once, but twice.
The thick, choking memory made me gag and I ran to the bathroom to throw up. My knees hit the floor and the cold porcelain pressed against my bare chest. Hot, furious tears burned behind my eyes and I wiped them away angrily.
But then I slammed my hands on the basin. The bastards didn’t get to win this one.
I rinsed my mouth and then went to sit on the bed to order breakfast.
I’d force myself to eat. I’d force myself to stay strong.
Laney
As I made my way around Walmart, I wasn’t surprised that people stared. Most tried not to get caught, but one or two did it openly. If I was being charitable, I’d say they were concerned, but no—they were just staring.
I did my best to pick out some clothes for Ash. I’d been in too much of a hurry to leave that claustrophobic hotel room. Ash’s presence filled the space. He brimmed with masculinity, testosterone flowing from him in heady waves; and I don’t think he knew he was doing it, but I saw him checking out my boobs when I woke up. It was just a quick glance—well, two quick glances—but it was definitely there. It was a mystery to me how anyone could ever think he was gay, although it obviously bothered him a lot.
I suppose assuming a male dancer must always be gay was like assuming a woman in a wheelchair always needed an aide. We’d be fighting stereotypes our whole lives. After our conversation, I was okay with that comparison.
As well as two pairs of jeans, shirts and a coat, I bought Ash toiletries and more Advil, plus boxer-briefs and socks. It felt a little awkward buying underwear for a man I hardly knew, but compared to what we’d been through together, that small discomfort wasn’t important.
Luckily, I was able to buy a phone charger, as well. It would be a relief to be in touch with the world again. I wondered how much trouble I was in with Vanessa and Jo.
I made my way back to the hotel, so loaded up with bags on my lap that I could hardly see over the top. This could be tricky. At any moment, they could all go sliding off, and then I really would be reliant on the kindness of strangers. Again.
But I made it back in one piece, and Ash opened the door as soon as he heard me outside.