Sita tightened her grip on her mother.
‘Running away is never the solution. Confront your problems. Manage them. That is the way of the warrior.’ Sunaina lifted Sita’s chin and looked into her eyes. ‘And, you are a warrior. Don’t ever forget that.’
Sita nodded.
‘You know your sister was born weak. Urmila is no warrior. You must take care of her, Sita. And, you must look after Mithila.’
Sita made a promise to herself within the confines of her mind. Yes. I will.
Sunaina caressed Sita’s face and smiled. ‘Your father has always loved you. So does your younger sister. Remember that.’
I know.
‘As for me, I don’t just love you, Sita. I also have great expectations from you. Your karma will ensure our family’s name survives for many millennia. You will go down in history.’
Sita uttered her first words since she had seen her mother at the gurukul. ‘I am so sorry, Maa. I’m so sorry. I …’
Sunaina smiled and held Sita tight.
‘Sorry …’ sobbed Sita.
‘I have faith in you. You will live a life that will make me proud.’
‘But I can’t live without you, Maa.’
Sunaina pulled back and held Sita’s face up. ‘You can and you will.’
‘No … I will not live without you …’
Sunaina’s expression became firm. ‘Listen to me, Sita. You will not waste your life mourning me. You will live wisely and make me proud.’
Sita continued crying.
‘Don’t look back. Look to the future. Build your future, don’t grieve for your past.’
Sita did not have the strength to speak.
‘Promise me.’
Sita stared at her mother, her eyes brimming with misery.
‘Promise me.’
‘I promise, Maa. I promise.’
It had been four weeks since Sunaina’s visit to Shvetaketu’s gurukul. Sita had returned home with her mother. Sunaina had manoeuvred for Sita to be appointed prime minister of Mithila, with all the executive powers necessary to administer the kingdom.
Sita now spent most of her time with Sunaina, looking after her mother’s failing health. Sunaina guided Sita’s meetings with the ministers of the kingdom in her private chambers, by her bedside.
Sita was aware that Sunaina was greatly concerned about her relationship with her younger sister. Thus, she made a concerted effort to bond with Urmila. The queen of Mithila wanted her daughters to build a strong relationship that would tide them over the difficult years ahead. She had spoken to them about the need for them to stand by each other. And the love and loyalty they must share.
One evening, after a long meeting in Sunaina’s chambers, Sita entered Urmila’s room, next to their mother’s. She had asked an aide to arrange a plate of black grapes. Urmila loved black grapes. Dismissing the aide, she carried the plate into the chamber.
The room was dimly lit. The sun had set but only a few lamps were aglow.
‘Urmila!’
She was not in bed. Sita began looking for her sister. She stepped into the large balcony overlooking the palace garden.
Where is she?
She came back into the room. Irritated with the minimal light, she was about to order for some more lamps to be lit, when she noticed a shaking figure bundled in a corner.
‘Urmila?’
Sita walked over.
Urmila sat in the corner, her knees pulled against her chest. Her head down on her knees.
Sita immediately set the plate aside and sat down on the floor next to Urmila. She put her arm around her baby sister.
‘Urmila …’ she said, gently.
Urmila looked up at her elder sister. Her tear-streaked face was lined with misery.
‘Didi …’
‘Talk to me, my child,’ said Sita.
‘Is …’
Sita squeezed Urmila’s shoulders gently. ‘Yes …’
‘Is maa leaving us and going to heaven?’
Sita swallowed hard. She wished maa was here to answer Urmila’s questions. Almost immediately, she realised that Sunaina would soon not be here at all. Urmila was her responsibility. She had to be the one to answer her.
‘No, Urmila. Maa will always be here.’
Urmila looked up. Confused. Hopeful. ‘But everyone is telling me that maa is going away. That I have to learn to …’
‘Everyone doesn’t know what you and I know, Urmila. Maa will just live in a different place. She won’t live in her body anymore.’ Sita pointed to Urmila’s heart and then her own. ‘Maa will live in these two places. She will always be there in our hearts. And, whenever we are together, she will be complete.’
Urmila looked down at her chest, feeling her heart pick up pace. Then she looked at Sita. ‘She will never leave us?’
‘Urmila, close your eyes.’
Urmila did as her sister ordered.
‘What do you see?’
She smiled. ‘I see maa. She is holding me. She is caressing my face.’
Sita ran her fingers down Urmila’s face. She opened her eyes, smiling even more broadly.
‘She will always be with us.’
Urmila held Sita tightly. ‘Didi …’
‘The both of us, together, are now our mother.’
‘My journey in this life is drawing to an end,’ said Sunaina.
Sita and Sunaina were alone in the queen’s chambers. Sunaina lay in bed. Sita sat beside her, holding her hand.
‘Maa …’
‘I’m aware of what people in Mithila say about me.’
‘Maa, don’t bother about what some idiots …’
‘Let me speak, my child,’ said Sunaina, pressing Sita’s hand. ‘I know they think my achievements of the past have evaporated in the last few years. Ever since Kushadhwaj began to squeeze our kingdom dry.’
Sita felt the familiar guilt rise in her stomach.
‘It is not your fault,’ said Sunaina, emphatically. ‘Kushadhwaj would have used any excuse to hurt us. He wants to take over Mithila.’
‘What do you want me to do, Maa?’
Sunaina knew her daughter’s aggressive nature. ‘Nothing to Kushadhwaj … He is your father’s brother. But I want you to redeem my name.’
Sita kept quiet.
‘It is said that we come with nothing into this world, and take nothing back. But that’s not true. We carry our karma with us. And we leave behind our reputation, our name. I want my name redeemed, Sita. And I want you to do it. I want you to bring back prosperity to Mithila.’
‘I will, Maa.’
Sunaina smiled. ‘And, once you have done that … you have my permission to leave Mithila.’
‘Maa?’
‘Mithila is too small a place for one such as you, Sita. You are meant for greater things. You need a bigger stage. Perhaps, a stage as big as India. Or, maybe history itself …’
Sita considered telling Sunaina about the Malayaputras having recognised her as the next Vishnu.
It took her only a few moments to decide.