“Anything.” My voice is low and gruff, and can barely be heard over the screaming in my head. I’m fucking up. I shouldn’t do this. But my want is too powerful to listen to rational thought. It overrides my mind, controls my actions, and beats the hell out of my better judgment. I want to give her this. And I will.
“This goes against everything I believe. My morals, my ethics, and my desire to uphold his will in who he wants me to be. Dirk, I want you to hold me tonight. I just want you to hold me and kiss me and help me forget everything. I know it’s selfish, but is it too much to ask?” Her voice is thick and emotional. I know she’s gonna break down again. I don’t know what she wants to forget. But I’ll make sure she does. I don’t know who he is. I don’t know what control he has over her life. But tonight, she doesn’t want him. She wants me.
I should be pissed that she called herself selfish. I should be pissed at the one who treated her like he didn’t need to hold her like he needed to breathe. I wouldn’t be that motherfucker. I would be the one who would make her feel special, even if it’s just for tonight. Even though I know I can feel shit inside me that makes me realize that this is bad for me. But, I will make her feel special, because she asked for it and it will make me the selfish one. Because I can’t offer her anything other than tonight, and I will make it so amazing for her that no other man will ever be able to make her feel like I did.
“It’s not too much to ask,” I tell her and watch as her eyes widen and her nostrils flare slightly. She is fighting to hold back her tears. Relief is on her face and sags her shoulders. That ache is back in my chest and it’s fighting against a feeling of elation that I have because I gave her that relief. I’m going to get to touch her and I waste no time.
There are two steps between us and I close the distance, never letting my eyes leave hers. Mine are willing her to trust me and hers are telling me she does. I slowly raise my hand and push her hair over her shoulder so that it falls down her back. My hand grazes her neck, and I feel my pulse quicken when her mouth falls open and her eyes close. She is doing something to me.
“Saylor.” She sighs as I whisper her name. When I trail my finger slowly down her neck and between her tits, the slightest moan escapes her lips and I feel my dick swell in my jeans. When I reach the hem of her shirt, I slide both my hands beneath it and up her rib cage, feeling her hot skin tremble beneath my calloused hands. She is as soft as satin, and I don’t want the fabric of her shirt between us anymore. I move my hands up her sides, forcing her arms to lift, pulling her shirt over her head. When it’s off and her face comes back into view, her eyes are open and full of want. I leave her bra but notice how her nipples have hardened and are pushing against the fabric. I swallow and it’s the first physical sign of weakness I’ve shown. I gauge her reaction, but she hasn’t noticed my fault and if she has, it isn’t registering on her face.
The small amount of fear in her eyes doesn’t grow when my hands drift to the button on her shorts, so I remove them too. They fall to the floor and she is now standing before me in a pair of white panties and a white bra. She couldn’t be more beautiful or vulnerable, and to keep from feeling like I’m taking advantage of her, I have to remind myself that she asked for this. Maybe not to this extent, but the hungry look she wears says that she doesn’t mind.
I make her stand there, her body convulsing in light shakes, giving her plenty of time to change her mind while I strip down to my boxers. Her eyes appraise my body and she likes what she sees. I see her fingers flex, wanting to touch me. But I don’t give her time to make a move. I lead her to the bed a few feet away and she climbs in without hesitation and, fuck me, but I take a moment to drink her in. She is about five seven and the sixty-seven inches of woman, half naked and lying in my bed, is enough to please me for the rest of my fucked-up life. She hasn’t touched anything other than my hand, yet she is more pleasurable than any other woman I’ve ever been with.