I sigh. “Having a kid is like having a parrot. But more manipulative.”
Sandra laughs, but she’s twirling a loose lock of her hair as she looks between Roman and I. What’s going on in that gorgeous head of hers?
“Can we get a parrot?” asks Roman.
“No,” I say. “One motormouth is enough.”
Roman humphs before diving back into his macaroni binge.
Sandra eyes me across the table. I may know how to make a woman’s toes curl with the slightest touch and how to make the hairs on her neck stand up with a whisper, but I don’t have a fucking clue when it comes to what they’re thinking. All I know right now is she’s definitely thinking something.
“So,” she says. “What happened with my parents?”
“I know you’re pissed, but--”
“Pissed?” she asks. “Why would I be pissed?”
“Uh,” I say. “Right. Exactly.”
She scrunches her nose, leaning forward. “You had better spill it.”
“All right, fine. You want to know what I said? I told them they were…” I glance toward Roman and decide to opt for the G-rated version. “I told them they were dummies for the way they treat you. And I told them they should get lost, because you’ve made yourself the person you are without them and you don’t need their help.”
“You said all that?”
I shrug. “Something along those lines.”
Tears well in her eyes and she suddenly plants her hands on the table, leaning over the middle. I don’t need to be prompted twice, and I lean over too, kissing her softly.
“Yuck,” says Roman.
We break apart, and I glare at Roman. “Aren’t you getting tired, Bud?”
“Bedtime isn’t for another hour!” he complains.
I know better than to turn it into a battle, so I just ruffle his hair and drop it, looking back to Sandra.
“Mind telling me why you’re not pissed?” I ask. “Not that I’m complaining.”
“Because they came by after I saw you at the bakery. They apologized. It was… I think it was genuine. I’ve never heard them apologize for anything before. They said they will need some time to come to terms with it, but that they may have been wrong. You have no idea how long I have been needing to hear that from them. So… Thank you.”
I nod. “So, how are you feeling?” I ask pointedly, trying to show her my meaning by staring at her belly.
She misunderstands, making a scandalized face. “I’m feeling like there are one too many people at the table to be taking the conversation in that direction.”
I sigh. “No, I mean. Have you had any strange symptoms lately?”
Realization sets in on her face. “Oh. Um, well, nothing too out of the ordinary. I should know for sure in a week.”
That soon? Damn. I feel strange about the whole thing, not because I don’t want her to be pregnant, but because I do want it. It’s fucking insane to want to have a baby with someone I’ve essentially spent so little time with, but there it is, clear as day. I want her to be carrying my baby. I want to raise a baby with her, and I want a reason for her to be in Roman’s life. With Tara becoming more and more irresponsible, having a strong woman like Sandra in his life is just what he needs.
“Is that a relief to you?” She asks carefully. “That I’m not having symptoms so far?”
I narrow my eyes. She’s asking if I want the baby. “No,” I say pointedly. “In fact, I’m thinking I may need to keep trying to make you have those symptoms.”
She smiles, biting her lip. The look on her face quickly grows distant though.
“What?” I ask.
She shakes her head, jabbing her fork idly at her potatoes. “You’re sure none of your excitement has to do with what your brother told me about?”
“Positive. Besides. There are two parts to that agreement. If you don’t believe I want this for real, then I’ll tell you this. Garage or no garage, I’d still want this baby. Still want you to be my wife.”
I realize I may have said too much in front of Roman, but when I look over his forehead is on the table and his mouth is open, trailing drool. Macaroni and cheese does always make him tired.
Sandra notices at the same time as me and smiles. “Is that normal?”
“Happens all the time,” I say, carefully wiping his mouth with a napkin and then carrying him to her couch. I lay him down and cover him with a blanket while Sandra watches. I kiss Roman on the forehead and step out to the front porch with Sandra where we can talk without disturbing him.
“You mean what you said?” asks Sandra. “About the being your wife thing?”
“I did,” I say. “I do.”
She laughs. “This is all so crazy. You realize that, right? What’s happening between us, how fast this is all moving… None of this is normal.”
“That’s what makes it so fun. That’s how you know it’s real,” I say more quietly, wanting to find out if her panties are black like she said, wanting to kiss her.
“We can’t get married. It’s so soon. Imagine what people would think.”
I smirk. “So you’re considering it, then? You wouldn’t be worrying what people would think if you weren’t considering it.”
She looks out toward where the trees sway, blotting out the stars. “I don’t know what I’m considering, Reid. There might be a baby growing in here,” she says, clutching her stomach.
I put my hand on top of hers, hugging her from behind and resting my chin on her head. “Yeah, I hope there is.”
“Don’t say that,” she snaps. She pauses, softening her voice. “This is scary for me. I don’t want you to say it if you don’t mean it. And… well, why would you mean it? You barely know me. Why would you want me to have a baby if not for the contract.”
“Because I love you,” I say. It’s not the first time I’ve told a woman I love her, but it’s the first time saying the words has made every inch of my skin tingle. It’s the first time the words have felt real and powerful. “I don’t care if it’s stupid or if it’s too soon, Sandra. I know what I feel. Do you understand?”
She turns to face me. There are tears in her eyes but no sadness in her features. Only resolve. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it,” she says firmly.
I take her chin between my thumb and forefinger, kissing her before pulling back and locking eyes with her. “Listen to me. I know you’re used to shitty people and shitty things happening to you. I get it, but believe me when I tell you how I feel.”
She doesn’t speak for a long moment, long enough that I wonder if she’s going to say anything at all. “I love you, too. As crazy and stupid as that is. I do.”
I kiss her then, hard. I may not know if the plan I have in the works is going to fix the trouble my brother is causing. I may not know how things with Tara and Roman are going to shape up. I may not even know how I plan to save my garage and what I’ll do if I lose it. But I know holding Sandra makes it all seem like background noise.
20
Sandra