Sinful Longing

“Yeah. I know. Meth heads are nasty.”

She crinkled her nose. “So gross,” she said, then returned to the topic. “I’ve been seeing someone—”

“You’re dating a junkie?”

“God, no.”

“You said ‘being involved with someone addicted.’”

She nodded. “Right. I know. Because that’s the promise I made to you, and to myself, and to us. Our family. To not get involved with an addict. But, I want you to know I’ve been seeing someone who’s a recovering addict.”

“Oh,” he said, his voice flat. She didn’t know if that meant he didn’t care or he was disappointed.

“And I think he’s a really good guy,” she added.

He arched a skeptical eyebrow. “Like my dad was a good guy?”

“No. Good guy like the real deal.”

“Okay,” he said, his tone light and easy now. “So what’s the issue?”

“I want to know how you feel about that. He’s been in recovery for eight years. He’s a good, solid, strong man who hasn’t relapsed.”

He shot her a look as if she was nuts. “I don’t get it, Mom. What’s the problem? He sounds cool.”

“He is cool. You know him.”

She could see the gears turning in his head. They clicked, and he wagged his finger at her. “No way! You’re dating Colin.”

She couldn’t help but grin. “How did you guess it was him?”

“Duh.”

She jutted out her chin. “Duh, what?”

“I can’t believe you thought I wouldn’t guess him,” he said, laughing at her, clutching his belly and guffawing. Her son was actually guffawing.

She straightened her spine. “I’m sorry, but did you have radar installed?”

He stared at the ceiling as if he were deep in thought. “Hmm. Let’s see. Could it be the way you flirt with him at the center?”

“I don’t flirt with him.”

“Could it be the fact that he sent me a history app?”

“Oh, excuse me. Did it say ‘I like your mom’ on it?”

“No. But get real. What guy does that?” he scoffed.

“A nice guy,” she said insistently.

“Exactly. That’s my point. He’s a good guy. He volunteers. He helps Rex for free. And I’ve seen the goofy look you get when you’re texting.”

She was so busted. “Would you prefer that I don’t go out with him?” she asked gently, giving him the out that she felt she needed to. Alex was her top priority, and even though she prayed he’d say no, she’d have to honor his wishes if he said yes.

“No,” he said with a laugh. “It’s fine.”

“Do you mind if he comes to the match, and maybe we can all hang out and get a coffee or Coke or something?” she asked, with a cocktail of nerves and hope that she hadn’t felt since she herself was a teen asking out a boy. Such a strange feeling, to want her son’s approval so badly.

He shrugged happily. “Sure.”

“Does it bother you that he’s a recovered addict?”

He shook his head. “Mom, he’s not a thing like Dad. We’re cool.” His phone rattled, and he grabbed it. “Oh man, James just got a new cheat code.”

That was that. He’d moved on. She’d clung to fears of what their life might be like if she ventured down this path, but Alex was resilient. He’d taken his punches and gotten back up.

She was the one who’d been living in fear. He’d been living his life.

Time for her to do the same.

Fully. In every way. Not only as a mom, but as a woman, too. A woman who was falling hard for a man.

*

“I owe you, man. The Cristal’s on me,” Rex said, offering his hand to shake as Colin pulled up to the building at the community college where Rex and Marcus were slated to take the math test. “Wait. I meant the Shirley Temple’s on me.”

Colin waved him off. “Get out of here. Happy to do it.”

“What are you doing today? You gonna go find the next Google to buy, or go scale the side of a mountain with your Spidey hands?”

“Both,” he said. “Work. Some climbing, a run, then a swim.”

“You’re nuts.”

“You should go with me sometime.”

“Now you’re really crazy,” Rex said, laughing with his mouth wide open. “But I will cheer your badass ass on when the day comes.”

“Excellent,” Colin said, then looked into the backseat as Marcus grabbed his backpack. The kid had been quiet the whole ride. Then again, Rex tended to occupy the majority of the conversational space in any room. “Good luck, Marcus.”

“Thanks for the ride. I didn’t know ’til Rex told me this morning that you were the one picking us up.”

Colin furrowed his brow for a moment, wondering why it mattered that he was the one picking them up. But he figured Marcus had more important matters on his mind. “Happy to help. You guys will do great.”

He went to his office, where Larsen greeted him with a coffee and the sheer excitement of having found a kickass startup.