Jenna took a seat at the Landing, Hawks Mill’s nicest restaurant. She arrived shortly before the height of the lunch rush and asked for a table for two. She felt self-conscious in her scrubs among the lawyers and executives and wealthy retirees who all were coming in wearing coats and ties and large rings. It was several years since Jenna had eaten at the Landing. Dr. Phillips, the founder of Hawks Mill Family Medicine, once brought the whole staff there for a holiday party. Other than an occasion like that, Jenna wouldn’t spend the money on a place like the Landing. When the waiter asked her what she wanted to drink, she asked for a glass of water.
While she waited, sipping her water, she bounced her feet under the table and rested her hand on the cool glass to keep from tapping her fingers too much. She tried to think of the last time she and Ian had spent any time alone. She guessed it was before he and Celia started dating, long before the two of them were married. Celia missed school one day, so Jenna started walking home alone. She didn’t mind the solitude. She let her mind drift, taking in the leaves that were just turning, the warm fall air that already carried a hint of decay. Her mind drifted so far she didn’t notice Ian until he was walking beside her, a couple of books in one hand, the other tucked into the pocket of his jeans.
Even then he was taller than everyone else, almost to his adult height of six-four. His hair was longer then, a lock of it tumbling over his forehead, but he didn’t give in to the grungy fashions that were sweeping through the high school. She never saw Ian in flannel or ripped jeans, never saw him in Chuck Taylor sneakers with the names of bands scrawled on the canvas in Magic Marker. She doubted his parents would allow it. They might not let him back in the house if he dressed that way.
When he showed up alongside her that day after school, she jumped a little as he said hello. He apologized, and she told him he’d materialized like a ghost.
“God, I hope not,” he said. “Not yet.”
He asked Jenna a lot of questions about her family and her life. What did her mom and dad do? What did she do for fun? Did she have siblings? She answered all his questions, trying to keep the nervous edge out of her voice so he didn’t think she was a babbling, bumbling idiot. But when she turned the questions back to him, when she asked about his family and his friends and his life, he didn’t reveal much. Even then, a screen existed, a barrier Ian didn’t seem to want to let Jenna see behind.
They said good-bye in front of her house, and only then did Jenna wonder about how far Ian would have to walk to get back home. She knew his family lived in a nice new subdivision, one a couple of miles on the other side of their school. She thought about calling him back, offering for her mother to give him a ride. But she didn’t speak up. Ian seemed so at ease walking away, so sure of who he was and where he was going, that she figured he had it under control. People like Ian always had a way.
The next day, Jenna told Celia that she didn’t have to worry about how she made it home, that Ian ended up walking her. Celia didn’t say anything. She gave Jenna a knowing look, one that Jenna didn’t fully understand at the time, but two days later she did when Celia and Ian were a couple, and the barrier that had always existed with Ian, the one Jenna hoped over time might fall away, became permanent. They spent time together over the years, but always with Celia there. And only in the context of Jenna being Celia’s friend and not really Ian’s.
The waiter came back one more time, as the restaurant started to fill. People stood near the front door, waiting for tables. And Jenna sat by herself with only a glass of water in front of her. She checked her watch. Twenty minutes had passed. Maybe Ian had been held up. Maybe he just didn’t want to deal with her.
“Are you sure you don’t want to order something?” he asked. Between the lines, Jenna heard what he really meant. Are you ever going to order something?
“My friend, the person I’m meeting, he should be here very soon.”
And then the crowd at the door parted a little, and Ian stepped through. He looked across the restaurant and made eye contact with Jenna. He nodded, his lips a compressed line.
He was there.
? ? ?
When Ian reached the table, Jenna didn’t know what to do.