To appease her I pick up a honey-glazed strawberry and take a bite, but that's all I can manage. "I'm not hungry."
"It wasn't your fault," she says. "And we're fine."
"People are hurt. Buildings ruined. The grove gone. And it was my fault. Varis warned me, but I didn't listen."
We're interrupted by a voice coming from the hall. "Where is she? Is she injured?"
I set my drink down and stand, a smile coming to my lips for the first time in awhile.
Fen runs to me and wraps me in his strong, warm arms. "We heard the news. A dragon laying ruin to the city? What happened?"
I quickly explain what I did and the harm I caused.
Then Dean walks in. "The people will rebuild. And the grove…" he turns away, and I see he is devastated by what I did. "We will plant more trees. It will take centuries, but eventually, the grove will be restored."
I reluctantly pull away from Fen and hug Dean, whispering in his ear. "I am so sorry. If I could change things, I would."
He smiles briefly, then leaves me to sit down and drink wine.
"What? No hug for me?"
That voice…
"Asher!"
He stands in the doorway, his arms spread out and a big grin on his face. I run forward and embrace my second favorite prince.
He smiles and pets Yami. "I see you've taken to setting the world on fire more literally these days?"
I scowl at him. "It's not funny. But yes."
"We've just come from Stonehill," Fen says. "It's worse than we could have imagined."
I find that hard to believe, until he describes what they saw.
Asher leans against the wall, studying his perfectly manicured nails. "I can't tell you how relieved we were to hear of Yami in full form. We're going to need him in the coming battle."
"That's not going to work," I say, my chest tightening. "I can't control the power."
"Then don't," Asher says. "Unleash him and let him win this war for us."
"The innocent will suffer," I whisper, ashamed. "Too many will die."
"There are no innocents in war," Asher says.
He’s darker than usual, more anger behind his eyes. But I haven’t seen him in nearly a month. Who knows what he endured.
Fen looks down at me, squeezing my shoulder. "I do not presume to know what it does to you to summon such power. But you didn't see what we saw. The torture. The suffering. The deaths. If there is a way to stop Levi from spreading his darkness to the rest of Inferna and beyond, we must take it."
I can see the pain in his eyes, at having witnessed what he did— at having to ask me to do something he knows causes me hurt—and part of me breaks. "I can't… " I step away from him and look at all of them. "I can't decide this right now. I must think on it."
I walk away before any of them can respond, my whole body alert to someone reaching to stop me. But none do. They allow me the time, and for that I am grateful.
The moons are still high when I exit the palace, and a gentle breeze carries the smell of fire and soot on the air. And worse, burning flesh. Tents have been erected in the palace square, and they are quickly filling with burn victims in need of treatment. My illusion should make me anonymous to anyone who would otherwise recognize the princess, but even then, how many people really could? With no technology, no televisions and photographs and smart phones capturing every moment and face on film, these people live in oblivion. They know of royalty, but don’t know what they look like half the time. And if they were to see them at all it would be from a great distance, where they are but well-dressed specks on the horizon.
Still, the added precaution gives me boldness to enter one of the tents and offer my help. Just another person offering to give aide to those in need.
I work for several hours before a familiar voice interrupts my flow. "Diana?" asks Seri, repinning her hair. "I haven’t seen you the last few days."
"I… I was feeling sick."
She touches my hand. "What happened… it wasn’t your fault."
"It…" I pull away, shocked. "What do you mean?"
"I know who you are. Who you truly are."
I don’t know what to make of this. "Let’s walk." She nods and we take a break, leaving the healing tents and walking by the canals. The light breeze from the water calms my nerves.
"It wasn't hard," says Seri. "Your mannerisms. Speech patterns. The way you always wash your hands before working with the sick." She grins. "Once I knew, it was easy to see past the illusion with a simple spell."
And I didn’t even realize she knew. I need to work on being more observant. "Keep it under wraps, please. I just want to help. I feel so bad."
"Everyone in the tents will be fine. Mild burns, but nothing serious. You do what you must to win this war. It's hell in the north for my people." Her face crumbles. "You have to stop him. Please. Promise me."
How has it come to this? That I must destroy to save? That I must choose who to sacrifice. And there's never a right choice.