‘I’m sixteen,’ I said, mildly offended.
‘Well, take my advice, honey, steer well clear. He’s not called Mr Love ’Em and Leave ’Em for nothing.’
‘It’s too late for that,’ I said, staring at my empty cup.
‘Vicks, can you give me a hand?’ A bearded man popped his head from behind the counter.
‘Give us two secs, boss,’ she replied. If anything, she seemed relieved to be called away.
‘I can’t get involved, sorry,’ she said, before taking my empty cup.
‘Please,’ I said, touching her sleeve. ‘I just want to know what he’s like.’
‘He’s a bastard, that’s what he’s like.’ Her forehead scrunched as she paused for thought. After a few seconds, she leaned forward, keeping her voice low. ‘For most people, a relationship begins when you date someone properly. Maybe that first kiss, or something more. For Luke, it’s the first moment he sets eyes on you. Seducing you, gaining your trust – the lead-up is his favourite part. As soon as he’s broken you down and got what he wants, he switches off. It’s like that person you fell in love with just isn’t there any more.’
‘So it wasn’t just me,’ I said.
‘Far from it. He’s had loads of teenage girlfriends; a proper little heartbreaker, he is. But take my advice, keep away from him. He’s got a nasty temper when he’s provoked.’
‘But if I don’t stop him he’ll just keep on doing it,’ I said, knowing I couldn’t just leave it at that.
The girl straightened. ‘I’m sorry, love, but he’s not my responsibility.’
My brow furrowed as she walked away. Unlike her, I couldn’t just let it lie. I had been lucky, I survived the fire I had lit. I couldn’t allow him to hurt anyone else, not when I was equipped with the truth. But the police had been called, I’d been served with a harassment warning. Who would believe me now?
CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR
ALEX
2017
I exhaled in relief as I caught sight of Jamie shoving his feet into his furry brown slippers as he sat on the edge of the bed.
‘Guess what?’ I said, smiling widely. ‘I’ve got a surprise for you.’ There was nothing more Jamie loved in the world than a surprise. As for me, I’d had more than my fair share.
His face lit up with excitement as he ran towards me, bouncing as if he had springs in his feet. ‘What is it? Is it ice cream?’
‘It’s far better than ice cream,’ I said, bending on one knee to accept his hug. ‘We’re going to Nanny’s today, and she’s going to buy you all the ice cream you want.’ I knew Mum was counting off the time until she got to see Jamie again.
Jamie had responded with a squeak of excitement before a dark cloud crossed his face. ‘What about Mummy? Is she coming too?’
‘Mummy’s going to follow on,’ I said, feeling a pang of regret. Was I doing the right thing, leaving without telling her? I could not have this argument in front of our son.
‘Mummy had a knife. She was going to get the bad man.’ Jamie raised his hand in a stabbing motion, filling me with terror. Any remnants of doubt dissipated in that second. I needed to get Jamie away and fast. I checked my watch. Soon she would be logging into the school webcam to check that he was there. ‘Did you see anyone apart from Mummy last night?’ I asked, the response being a quick shake of the head. ‘I think she just had a scary dream,’ I reassured him.
‘Playing with knives is dangerous,’ Jamie said, repeating a phrase I had drummed into him many times before.
‘That’s right,’ I said. ‘Mummy was very naughty, and she won’t be doing it again. But she feels very bad for frightening you, so perhaps we won’t talk about the knife any more. Now, what say we get you dressed for Nanny? She can’t wait to see you.’
I quickly flung our belongings into a suitcase. I could come back for the rest later, when I had Jamie safely tucked away. Mum was only too pleased to help. Not that I could tell her everything. Within half an hour Jamie had eaten and the packed cases were in the hall. I took one last glance around the house I had dreamed about leaving. I had never envisioned it would end like this. I found a piece of paper and scribbled a note.
Emma,
I’ve taken Jamie to Leeds for a break. Theresa knows everything. She will help you to sort yourself out. When you’re feeling better, you can follow on, but right now some time apart would do us all good. Jamie said you had a knife last night, and that you left him alone because you were going to stab someone. Is this really how you want your son to see you? You need to face facts. You need help.
I’ll call you later. Please, for the sake of our marriage, see a doctor. I know everything and I’m willing to work through this. But you have to make the first step.
Love,
Alex
After strapping Jamie in the back seat of the car, I dialled my mum’s number. ‘Hi, it’s me,’ I said, trying to sound happier than I felt.
‘Oh? You don’t usually call me this early. Everything all right?’
I smiled. That was my mum, straight to the point. I imagined her with a cuppa and a magazine in front of the television, waiting for Loose Women to start.
‘Not really, but it’s nothing to worry about. Listen, would you be able to put Jamie and me up for a few days? I’m leaving now.’
Her demeanour brightened. ‘Of course, I’d love to. There’s lots of room here.’
It was true; Mum still lived in my childhood four-bedroomed home. ‘I thought you’d say that. Hopefully, there won’t be any traffic hold-ups. We’ll probably stop for a break along the way, but if I leave now I should be with you by around two.’
‘Wonderful. Just enough time for me to pop out and get some shopping. I know how much Jamie loves his ice cream.’
‘Don’t go to any trouble, Mum, and not too much junk for Jamie. He’ll be bouncing off the walls.’
I could sense her hesitation on the other end of the line. ‘And Emma . . . is she coming too?’
I peeped in through the car window at Jamie, who was no doubt listening to my conversation. Leaning against the door, I briefly turned my back to him. ‘Maybe later. We’ve had a bit of a falling out. Listen, Mum; I’ll explain everything when I get there. I have Jamie strapped in the car, and we’re ready to leave. Can you do me a favour?’
‘Of course,’ she said.
‘If Emma rings, say you’ve not heard from me. The last thing I want is her turning up on your door.’
‘OK, but I’d like to know why—’
‘She’s not been well,’ I interrupted. ‘Problems with her nerves.’ I was speaking on my mum’s level now. It was a phrase she had used many times before. ‘If she knocks on the door I don’t want you to answer it. She’s not thinking clearly. I don’t want you to let her in.’
‘Really, I can’t do that, turn my back on my daughter-in-law,’ Mum scoffed. ‘Surely we can sort this out.’
‘We will sort it out, but you have to promise me. Don’t answer the door to her, or anyone you don’t recognise.’
‘Very well,’ she said. ‘But I want to know everything that’s been going on.’
‘You will,’ I said, not necessarily meaning it. Some truths were too horrific to deal with. I opened the car door and climbed in. It was time to walk away.
CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE
EMMA
2017
‘Sometimes it’s not so much you choosing the dress as the dress choosing you,’ Josh said, sounding like a natural. I watched through the crack in the door from the back of the room as he coaxed our newest client.