I kept my mouth firmly closed, waiting for him to tell me. There was an infuriating grin on his face that made my blood boil. He knew he was in control and he was milking every single second of it.
“I saw Aiden walk away from the classroom. I saw him slip through the corridors and out of the school.” He paused to push his hair back away from his face. Hair that I’d caressed. A face I’d kissed. A body I’d touched. A man I’d made love to over and over again. “I’d been watching you for years. I remember the first day I saw you at school, with your dark hair long and luxurious. You were more hesitant than the other girls. You didn’t wear those slutty skirts or thongs pulled up above your waistline. You had something about you. You had paint under your fingernails and lowered eyelashes. You blushed when boys tried to talk to you and were oblivious when they were clearly besotted with you.” He sighed. “You used to be so beautiful, and now you’re old, fat, and covered in that disgusting rash.”
Instinctively, I hid my hands beneath my legs, ashamed. Then I realised that I was looking at a murderer. I pulled my hands back out and scratched them in front of him.
“I’d been biding my time with you. The incident with Katie had been rushed and I didn’t want that to happen again. Besides, Katie was the appetiser. You were the main course, and I wanted to make sure I was ready to devour you.” I retched but nothing came out of me. Jake seemed oblivious, and carried on with his story. “But that lump of clay, that walking black hole, Rob, got there first. You needed to be led, and I was going to show you the way, but he was the one who got to you first and for that I will never forgive him. That’s the reason why he’s bleeding onto the Barratts’ hallway tiles. That’s what happens to people who cross me.”
“Get to the point,” I snapped, unable to cope with this for much longer. I scratched at my itching skin, feeling dirty just from listening to him. Next to me, Aiden sat quietly, still and impassive as always. He could be watching cartoons again, not listening to the ramblings of a psychopath.
“You were tainted when you had Aiden, but I knew I could salvage you. It would just take some breaking to get you where I wanted you. When I saw Aiden slip out of school that day I followed him at first to see what he was doing. I realised that I might never get him alone like this again. I might never have a chance to do what I’d wanted to do for years.” He licked his lips as he relayed the memory. “I was already soaked through from checking the outside of the school with Simon. I followed your son’s red coat through the pouring rain all the way down to the river. There he was, just standing and staring at the gushing water.”
I thought of my nightmares after Aiden was taken. I thought of that image forever haunting me: Aiden floating beneath the tumultuous waters. Aiden in the still, calm part of the river with his lips blue and his skin white.
Jake’s fingers gripped the knife even tighter. He lifted his arms in animation as his excitement grew. “This was my chance. I knew what it would do to you, and I knew I had to do it. The slate had to be wiped clean, Emma. I needed you to be that broken girl again, the one I fell in love with. You’d become too assured in your role as a mother. I saw how you played with Aiden in the park, and I saw you slowly becoming a family with Rob. You even had the friends I saw us having, Josie and Hugh. It wasn’t fair. It was all supposed to be for us.”
“What did you do?” I whispered.
“I pushed him,” he said.
“You did what?”
“I pushed him into the river.”
I turned to my son. He was blank faced and staring right at me. There were no answers in that face, only more questions. I reached out to touch him, before retracting my hand. Then I moved to face my husband.
“What happened after you pushed him into the river?” I asked.
Jake shrugged. “I went back to the school.”
“I don’t understand.”
“That’s because you’re stupid. You’ve accused me of kidnapping your son, but why would I do that? I never wanted him, I wanted you. Aiden just gets in the way. With him around you have no time for me, or the baby growing inside you. He’s an obstacle to me.”
“Who took him? Tell me. I need to know,” I begged.
Jake just laughed. “I don’t know. Some chancer who was nearby and saw a kid drowning in the river. They must have fished him out and thanked God because it meant they could keep him in their sick little dungeon or whatever.” He was so casual and callous that my stomach lurched and I tasted bile at the back of my throat.
“It wasn’t you,” I whispered.
“Of course not,” he said. “I wanted him out of the way, like I wanted your parents out of the way.”