I blinked lazily up at the marshal. His grimace spoke volumes.
I had fallen into the dreams. It was easier there. Nothing made any sense in reality. And it hurt. Everywhere I looked it hurt. Dreams didn’t hurt. Compared to the new world, dreams were old friends that didn’t die, unlike real ones.
Kellee grabbed my wrist and hauled me off the couch. My knees hit the floor. Pain sparked. “Hey!”
“Kellee!” Talen’s lashing reprimand startled Kellee and me. The marshal let go and whirled away, sinking his hands through his hair and holding them there. He left the chamber. The slam of the door shook my bones.
“What did I do?” I asked Talen.
He turned his attention to the book in his hand and turned a page. “It’s what you didn’t do.”
When Kellee returned some time later, he wore a loose sweatshirt that was damp enough for the fabric to cling to his chest in places. He tossed a coiled leather whip to the floor. “Pick it up.”
Who was he to order me? “Why?”
“Pick it up.”
I glanced at Talen, but while the fae had stilled, he kept his eyes on the book. I wouldn’t be getting help from him.
Planting my bare feet on the floor, I eyed the whip and then Kellee. “I don’t want to.”
Kellee came at me, aggression driving his strides. He snatched the whip off the floor and shoved it against my chest. When he let go, the whip fell into my lap.
“Come with me.” He glared through me, daring me to defy him.
“I said, I don’t want to.”
He pressed his lips together, making them white. “You know what I don’t want to be doing? Babysitting your lazy ass. Now get up!”
A low warning growl sounded, but it wasn’t Kellee’s. Talen’s eyes blazed over the rim of his book.
“Shut it, fae,” Kellee snapped.
“She’s not ready.” Talen set his book down and rose to his feet. I remembered Kellee’s words about the fae not being a fighter, but he looked as though he might give it a try.
What was going on here?
Talen stepped forward and Kellee’s entire body stilled. His green eyes hardened, and the man worked his jaw, likely making room for those sharp teeth. Oh no.
I picked up the whip. “I have it. Okay. I have the damn thing. Now what?”
“Good.” Kellee turned, ignored Talen’s watchful glare, and left the chamber, leaving the door open.
“You don’t have to go,” Talen said.
“What is he asking exactly?”
Talen swept a hand toward the door, inviting me to follow the marshal. I expected him to follow and spent so much time looking behind me for the fae that I didn’t realize where I was heading until I stood in an open space. Padding cushioned the floors and walls. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to know what this room had been used for. Kellee stood at its center. He beckoned me forward. I stopped a few steps from him, not daring to get any closer.
“Try to strike me with the whip.” He jumped on the balls of his feet and curled his fingers, urging me on. “Come on, Messenger.”
You’re just the messenger.
I flinched.
“Look at me,” he ordered. I did. His damp hair curled a little at its ends, licking at his cheek, jaw, and over his right eye. His lips were tight, revealing the tips of sharp teeth. “Hit me.”
I dropped the tail end of the whip and tested the weight of the grip in my hand. I’d learned to use a whip with one just like it. I’d stolen it from Dagnu. He had dealt me exactly fifteen lashes when he discovered it in my cell. It had been worth it. With every lash, I knew I had won. Where had Kellee gotten this one? Did he know whips just like it were used on saru?
I flicked the tail, letting it lick across the dusty padded floor.
“Wraithmaker,” Kellee growled. There was nothing nice on his face. None of the patience or compassion I’d seen in him. His beast lurked there now.
I flicked the whip, working its length upward, and snapped it back down with an audible crack. But Kellee had vanished from where he’d stood. I spun, feeling the room tip. This was too much. My footing stumbled, the room whirling.
Kellee’s warm fingers encircled my wrist and pulled, tilting me upright. But he pushed at the last second, almost toppling me over my own feet. His hand found my lower back and steadied me. I twisted, trying to fix him in my sights so I could at least see him coming, but all I saw was a blur. Another shove and I fell forward with a cry. Then he was there. Right up close. His hand spread over my heart, and his eyes burned into mine.
The whip fell from my fingers.
It wasn’t Kellee.
Eledan smiled.
A scream surged up my throat. It echoed in my ears and in my head.
“It’s not real.” Eledan’s lips moved, but the voice was Kellee’s. It didn’t matter. I was already falling. “Fight, Kesh. Look at me. See me.”
I shook my head, dropped to my knees, and curled into a ball.
“I told you.” Talen’s smooth voice held all the smug confidence of the fae. Hearing it broke my heart into a thousand pieces, creating countless jagged shards, and I felt the edge of every single one. I felt them burn, each one igniting a spark of fury.
My fingers closed around the whip.
“It will take years. We don’t have that long.”
Years? He knew everything, didn’t he? Knew it all. Like they all did.
“Dammit, Talen, I don’t need to hear—”
The whip felt right in my hand. It felt like a part of me, an extension of my will. I snapped it around me and cracked the tail inches from Talen’s face. The fae hissed and hunched low, adopting a fighting stance. Kellee had said Talen didn’t know how to fight. The fae knew how to react, at least.
I was on my knees, moving automatically, circling and thrashing the whip in a protective barrier. Talen ducked, but I hadn’t been going for his head. The whip snarled around his wrist. I pulled him off balance and flicked the whip around his neck. I would snap that smooth neck of his—
His elbow jabbed me in the gut. Air whooshed out of me, doubling me over. I fell forward, into him. The fae twisted and threw me onto my back. I hit the floor and the frenzy ended. The whole attack couldn’t have lasted more than two seconds.
The sound of my hurried breathing grew louder, as did the pounding of my heart. I turned my head a little and saw the two males. Kellee smiled. Talen rubbed at the raw marks around his neck and eyed me warily.
“It worked,” Kellee said, triumphantly. He slapped Talen on the back hard enough for the fae to flinch. “She just needed to kick the shit out of you, not me.”
Chapter 23
Every day, I fought them. And every day I saw less of Eledan. Muscle formed where it had wasted away. I jogged the prison circuit with Talen—who held back for my benefit—and did my best to wrap my whip around Kellee. At first, the pair were careful, afraid I might break. And in the beginning, I did. But as the weeks wore on, the laughter in my head faded.
My body healed faster than my mind, until I almost looked like Kesh Lasota again. On the inside, I was a mess. I continued to need Kellee’s daily injections to stop me from falling back into a stupor, and at times, the dreams called to me, whispering in my ear in different voices the way Eledan had. But I had enough control to function. To think. To consider how I might get close to Eledan—close enough to carve him open.
To distract my thoughts, Kellee brought me disused tek from around the prison. Parts and pieces with which I crafted new comms. We tried them from one end of the prison to the other, through miles of rock. And this time, they worked.
Slowly, carefully, I became almost whole again.