“Nothing good can come from this, and I won’t even tell you that there is a silver lining. But, if you hadn’t called me, four other boys wouldn’t have seen justice. Another little boy would have died. This trial ended with two killers in prison. It won’t give you peace, but it might give you some satisfaction.”
“However much it hurts, it’s better to know the truth. I’ll never understand why. Why. Your friend, Dr. Kincaid, came by last night. I think he wanted to give me answers, but there are no answers.”
She hadn’t known that Dillon went to see John, but that was so like him. She had grown to like and respect the man over the last two weeks. He showed a deep compassion but tempered it with logic and reason. He didn’t raise his voice. Nothing seemed to fluster him. He’d agreed to come to New York for an interview in two weeks, and she would be filming her next Maximum Exposure show about Danielle Sharpe and Blair Caldwell—mothers who kill. That was Ben’s tag. Max planned to take the show far deeper than a simple tagline could suggest. Dillon’s involvement would help tremendously. She also had agreements with Blair’s attorney (to talk generally, not specifically about her case because he planned to appeal—though she didn’t mention that to John), DA Harrison Trotter, Stanton, Detective Katella, and Danielle’s ex-husband. There were others she might be able to nab as well.
Except the one she really wanted. Lucy Kincaid. Max was going to have to be satisfied with her brother.
“The truth is an answer,” she said.
“It’s not enough, but it has to be.”
She gave John a hug good-bye, and went down to the parking garage to get her rental car. She considered staying the weekend to pamper herself at the Biltmore resort. But she’d already been gone for over two weeks, and it was time to go home.
She had wanted to stay—not only for John, but because Nick was expecting her this weekend. Why had she told him that she would visit when the trial was over? She didn’t want to see him. She knew their relationship was over. It was over the minute he told her he would never discuss his ex-wife and custody arrangement with her. It wasn’t that she had to know, it was that his problems with Nancy were integral to his life, and she realized that she wanted to share all or nothing with the man she loved.
And she couldn’t love anyone who closed half his life to her. Arguably, the most important half of his life, his child.
She was sad on the one hand because with Nick she saw something that could have been. There was something about him—and who she was when she was with Nick—that made her want to make it work. But at the same time, a weight lifted. She hadn’t realized the emotional stress she’d put on herself trying to justify Nick’s silence about Nancy. She’d made excuses to herself and for him, and she refused to do it anymore. She valued honesty—she couldn’t settle for less in her own relationships.
Maybe part of it was because of Lucy and Sean. She’d not only observed them, but listened to Lucy when she spoke of her husband. Their relationship was built on trust and honesty. No secrets. Maybe that was a near impossible goal, but it was still a goal. And one that Max was willing to pursue.
Because for the first time in her life, Max was thinking about the future. Before, her relationships had always been superficial. Passionate and intelligent relationships with men who could stand up to her, men who weren’t intimidated by her independence or confidence. But they were still superficial because to Max, the job always came first. To Max, her job was her vocation and there was no room for anything else.
Nick taught her one thing: that she wanted more. That while she wouldn’t give up her career, she definitely had room for another person. Someone who was more than an occasional lover. And Lucy taught her that Max didn’t have to settle for a relationship that was one-sided or based solely in sexual gratification. Max would rather be alone for the rest of her life than love a man who didn’t trust her with both the good and the bad in his life.
The freedom in that revelation gave Max a rare peace that she hadn’t expected.
*
She left her rental with the valet at the Biltmore, then walked through the lobby and out the back doors to her expansive suite. She was surprised when she found David sitting in her living room reading the book she had only half finished.
“Don’t tell me how it ends, I’ll read it on the plane tomorrow,” she said, kicking off her heels and sitting across from him. “I thought you left this afternoon.”
“I changed it to tomorrow. We’ll head back together.” He put the book down. “I thought you were seeing Nick this weekend.”
“I’d planned on it, but…” David and Nick were friends, which made this harder than she thought. “I’m done.”
“It’s not as simple as that.”
“It is. But I’m okay. You can take the weekend, visit Emma, do whatever you need to do. I don’t need a babysitter.”
“What changed?”
“Nothing. I thought I could tolerate being shut out of his life, and I can’t. I guess … I have too much respect for myself. It got to the point where I cared too much. And I was giving up too much just to spend time with him.”
“Nick cares. This is a hard time for him.”
“I know. But I’m supposed to let him shut me out on this? What else? Let’s say Nick and I stick it out. I have to shut my ears and close my eyes every time Nancy is mentioned? Every time she interferes with his life? Would I even be allowed to have a relationship with Logan? I don’t want to live like that. It’s not like he’s my employee.”
She didn’t realize what she’d said until she’d said it.
“Is that what I am, Max? An employee?”
Last September, David had hurt her so deeply, but she hadn’t realized it still bothered her. Bothered her? She was still hurt.
“You were my friend, David,” she said. “And I thought—I don’t know. That we were family, in a way. But you made it clear I’m not. And I get it—Brittney gave you an ultimatum. She didn’t want me anywhere around Emma. You couldn’t risk losing your daughter to that vindictive bitch. I understand, David—and I tried to keep it all in perspective. You work for me. I’m not part of your life. I don’t have a right to expect to be part of your family dinners or spend time with you and Emma outside of our job. We’re not lovers, we’re not in that kind of relationship, and now our friendship is … I don’t know.”
“I am really sorry I hurt you, Max,” David said. “I didn’t realize when I shut you out of Emma’s birthday dinner that you took it personally. I had to make that promise to Brittney, that you wouldn’t be there, that you wouldn’t be in Emma’s life. I have no rights with Emma. None except what Brittney gives me.”
“I’m okay.”
“Yet you’re dumping Nick.”
“Because I’m not going to be cut out. Not in something so important to Nick.”
David nodded. “Okay.”
“Dinner?”