I am not equipped for this.
All this time, I assumed I’d be bringing Izzy home to my parents after my dad got better. That was the only thing that gave me the confidence to think I could care for her while we were in Texas. Because I was handing her off to my parents who had already raised kids.
How do I tell them? Will this come as a relief or crush them?
Of course, I agreed to adopt her. How could I not?
The office door creeps open, and Izzy comes cruising in on some kind of baby walker on wheels.
“Hey, Bella, we need to let Uncle Brady work.” Katherine runs in behind my niece. “Sorry about that. She’s getting faster in this thing.” Katherine’s smiling until she gets a good look at me. “Are you… Are you okay?”
I shake my head, not even knowing where to begin.
Typically, this is something I’d discuss with my parents, but given that my father is heading into surgery tomorrow, I can’t.
Katherine frowns. “Wanna talk about it?” Hesitantly, she sits next to me on the couch.
There’s something about those big hazel eyes that makes me want to confide in her. She knew Cal and Melissa better than anyone.
So I unload on her. When I’m done, her eyes are wide. “Okay. Well, I know this isn’t what you were expecting, but I can’t say I’m surprised you’re getting custody of Bella.”
“What?” I rub my neck. “I don’t know how much my brother told you about me, but we’d been arguing over him being in Texas. For a while.”
“Sure, but he loved you, and even though you guys were pissed at each other, you’re the kinda guy who puts his family first. It’s why you’re here right now. It’s why you were upset with him in the first place. Because of your parents. So, see, deep down he knew there was no one better to take care of his baby girl than you.”
My eyes sting, and I blink several times, feeling overwhelmed. Dropping my head, I brace my elbows on my thighs.
We sit in silence, the only sound coming from Izzy as she scurries back and forth across the room in her walker.
“Did… Did he ever talk about me?” I hate how needy that sounds, but Kat gives me a warm smile.
“Of course he did.” She places her hand on my arm. “He said you were his hero. That there was no one he respected more.”
Fuck.
That’s when it hits me. How angry I’ve been at him. Not just for refusing to come back to Boston, but for dying. For leaving when everything was unresolved between us. For not giving me a chance to tell him how much I loved him and appreciated him as my brother.
He called you that night. He called. This is on you.
I lower my head again and clench my eyes. All that time I wasted being upset with him.
“He loved you, Brady,” she whispers. “He’d want you to make peace with this.”
I nod, not able to look up yet.
We sit side by side, shoulder to shoulder, with the sound of Izzy’s chatter in the background. Then I realize Kat’s rested her head on my shoulder. And for a quiet moment, we share the loss. Together.
Closing my eyes, I breathe in her spring scent of flowers and citrus. It makes my heart knock against my chest and wish for something simpler in my life. Something different than this endless treadmill I’ve been running. Is that what my brother found here? Is that why he left everything behind to be with Melissa?
With an easy squeeze on my arm, Katherine pulls away. “If it makes you feel any better, Cal once told me there were two things I needed to know about you. One, that he was better-looking, and two, that you were a stubborn son of a bitch.”
She giggles, and suddenly we’re both laughing. How am I laughing right now?
“Yeah, maybe I am stubborn,” I admit. I laugh again. “Fucker, he wasn’t better-looking.”
“And hey, don't worry. I won't tell the social worker about your porn addiction or your inclination to flash innocent bystanders.”
I snort. “Ha. Funny.”
She grins again and stands up. “Okay, big guy, I need to change the baby.” She nibbles on her lip a second. “I haven’t shown you all of the property yet. Wanna come along? Bella and I can give you the grand tour. It’s kinda nice outside today, and since this place is yours now, you probably need to get the big picture and see what you’re dealing with. Maybe take your mind off all this deep stuff for a little while.”
I heave a sigh of relief. “That would be great.”
Her lips lift a little higher, and I have to admit it feels pretty good to have that smile aimed at me. I start to wonder what a girl like her is doing on a farm in the middle of nowhere.
On her way out of the office, I call her name, and she stops in the doorway.
“Thanks again. For everything.”
She glances down and smiles shyly before walking out.
I can see why Cal and Melissa adored her. It’s a little hard not to.
15
Katherine