Shadow's End (Elder Races #9)

She felt as if a whole shining future had been snatched away from her. Just as fierce and overwhelming as the joy that had swept through her only moments ago, disappointment crashed down on her so heavily she felt a crushing weight on her chest.

She wanted that future. She wanted it desperately. She wanted him, and the kind of love she sensed that he was capable of giving.

I love him, she thought. Somehow, at some point in time, I fell in love with him.

I want him, more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life.

If nothing else, admitting the truth to herself was an immense relief.

She stepped toward him, one hand outstretched, not that he could see it, since he still had his back turned toward her. “It’s all right, Graydon. I don’t want you to apologize. I want . . .”

I want my monster back. The words sounded so raw and needy, she caught herself before she could say them.

His shoulders had stiffened. With an unpleasant shock, she realized that he didn’t welcome anything she might have to say. His silent, rigid posture stopped her words as effectively as if he had stuffed a gag in her mouth.

Breathing hard, she pulled the ragged pieces of herself together. After a moment, she said, “Since you’ve recovered, we should ask the others to return.”

“Yes,” he said. He strode toward the door that led to the outside hall. “We have a lot to do, and as you pointed out, time is slipping away from us.”

His too-quick response shoved her over some kind of edge. She felt as if she had been heading toward that place for a very long time.

After running a gamut of emotions over the last twenty-four hours, she jammed on the emergency brake and came to a full stop. Angling her jaw, she put her hands on her hips.

Maybe it was unwise. But she was tired of trying to be wise. Of trying to think only of the greater good or taking the best course of action.

She was fed up with taking the long view, holding the course. Always looking out for other people.

And fuck diplomacy. Really, just kick that shit to the curb.

This, she thought, is about what I want. No one else.

Telepathically, she said, We have a lot to do, and a lot to decide. None of it is going to be easy. I get that now is not the time to talk. Even so, I still want you to know I love you. Graydon, I’m in love with you. I think I have been ever since that night we spent in the forest.

Quick as a cat, he spun around to face her. His gaze had turned raw, and a muscle leaped in the tense line of his jaw.

Whatever barrier he had erected between them seemed to be gone. In the face of his intensity, the fierce focus she had acquired splintered completely.

She stumbled on. So . . . either you’ll welcome that, or you won’t. But I’m not going to be silent about it. And . . . and well, that’s all I had to say. Oh, except—after we get done killing Malphas and fighting to free Ferion, I’m going to fight for you too. Unless . . . unless of course you don’t want me to.

Aaaggghh.

As a rousing declaration of love, that foolish speech left a lot to be desired. She felt stupid and naked, and completely out of her depth.

After they stared at each other for a pulsing moment, she threw up her hands and charged for the door. Someone, anyone needed to come back into this blasted suite. In fact, right now would be a good time.

“I love you too,” Graydon said aloud. His voice had gone hoarse. “For two hundred years, I’ve been waiting for you, hoping for you. Fighting for you any way I could. I never dared let myself hope you might feel the same way, or I couldn’t have walked away from you.”

He strode across the room toward her.

Before she fully realized what she was doing, she leaped at him and crashed into his chest.

He didn’t even stagger as he snatched her out of the air and crushed her to him. Blindly, hungrily, she wrapped her arms around his neck, her legs around his waist and held onto him with everything she had.

“Are you mating with me?” she whispered, burying her face in his hair.

“I’m beginning to, yes,” he said very low into her neck. “I haven’t gone too far. Not yet, so if you’re not sure about this in any way, there’s still time to back away.”

Back away from the warmth of that friendly blaze? From his kindness, constancy and faithfulness? Turn away from the smile in his beautiful gray eyes, or the way the proud gryphon seemed self-conscious whenever she praised or petted him? Stop flying?

Let go of this adorable, dangerous man?

Not on your life, she thought. Never again in his life, or in hers.

She went nose-to-nose with him. “That goes for you too,” she whispered. “Would you back away?”

“Never.” His response was immediate and adamant, and his gaze was as steady as bedrock. “Not unless you needed me to.”

Pressing her lips tightly together, she nodded, for a moment too overcome to speak. The whole conversation felt as necessary as breathing, yet it was also precipitous, immensely inconvenient.

Issues piled up in her head. Malphas, Ferion, and oh gods, if they both survived this coming confrontation, she was going to have to find some way to come to terms with that blasted dragon.