And I did.
More than anything, I wanted her here with me.
So, what the fuck are you doing moping around here, you idiot?
I whipped out my phone, and before I could let my own fears convince me to change my mind, booked myself a ticket to Los Angeles. It might never work out, but goddamn it, I was going to try.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Charlotte
City life wasn’t how I remembered it.
Within the first week of arriving in Los Angeles, I’d gotten myself a job as a barista and had made a couple of new friends who liked to party. But as much as I tried to fit in, something still stuck out like a sore thumb . . . and I was beginning to think that something was me.
My mother had called a few more times, trying to ensure I’d go see a doctor. My father had even called and insisted that if I’d only come back, I could work for his company after all.
But now that I’d had my awakening, their attempts didn’t affect me the way they’d hoped. Instead, I listened to their concerns, considered everything they said, and hung up feeling even better about my decision than I had before.
And every single time, I’d wonder with a bittersweet pang if Luke would be proud of me.
Of course, that thought often led me down a dark and dangerous path. Even looking at my phone nowadays had me scrolling through my contacts and double-checking my texts, just in case I’d missed a message.
But I knew I hadn’t.
Luke hadn’t posted on Facebook or Twitter, and he didn’t have an Instagram account. I’d started a few posts of my own, talking about the wonderful sun and sand of California, but then deleted them and put away my phone. I wasn’t going to lie to the world when I was already lying to myself.
California was beautiful and sunny and sandy, yes. But it was lonely, and the traffic sucked. All the buildings felt like big industrial blocks with no charm or character, nothing like the cute little shops along the main street of Shady Grove.
If Luke came to Los Angeles, all he would see was the thing he hated most—the ridiculous city-slicker nonsense that made him stay so firmly in Shady Grove to begin with. I was having a hard time admitting it, but I missed the warmth and charm of that little speck on the map.
When my latest shift at the nearby café ended, I hung up my apron and ducked under the counter, punching out quickly before I headed down the sidewalk and back to Valentina’s place.
It was convenient—only a few blocks away—and when I approached, I found her putting something in my old-but-new-to-me clunker of a car. I’d sold my Audi the day after I cut up my credit cards, and still hadn’t decided what to do with the money left over after I bought my clunker. My parents refused to accept the excess back since the car had been a graduation gift, but I knew I wasn’t that person anymore. I felt like a fraud driving a car I hadn’t paid for myself.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
She looked up at me, her eyes wide, reminding me of a cat that had been caught with its paw in the fishbowl. “Nothing.”
“Come on, what’s up?”
“Look, I’m just . . . I’m trying to help.”
I rounded the car and peered inside to see my own purple suitcase in the backseat, alongside Valentina’s bright orange one.
“What’s going on?” I asked, a sizzle of apprehension running through me.
She offered me a hesitant smile. “Okay, so . . . we’re going to Texas.” She raised her hands and wiggled her fingers with a little squeal of excitement. “Surprise!”
Stunned, I stared at her. “We can’t go to Texas, Val. It’s a grueling drive. Which I know because I just drove it. And besides, I’ve got a job—”
“Oh, that?” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “I quit it for you.”
“You what?” I shouted, my stomach pitching.
Valentina smiled a little wider. “Yeah, I called them a few minutes ago, pretending I was you, and told them today was your last shift because you had a sick relative out of town who needed you.”
I blinked, unsure of what to even say to that.
“Oh, please, you hated that job, Charlotte. And if you want it so bad, they said they totally understood and you could come back anytime. Fact is, I’m sick of watching you sit around and mope. If what you and Luke have is it, like the real-deal true love? Then you need to make an effort for it.”
“But what about what he wants?”
“Well, you’re clearly not happy here, honey. Plus, you said you think he has a problem with women leaving. If you want to prove to him how different you are, going back would mean the world to him.” Valentina shrugged. “Sounds simple enough to me. We can drive in shifts to shave some time off the trip, and when we get there, I’ll find a hotel to shack up in and make a fun vacation of it. Come on, say yes.”
I looked at the car and flattened my lips into a line as I tried not to let my excitement build. Just because I went back to Shady Grove didn’t mean that Luke would want to see me once I got there.
That fear lodged in my throat, so instead I voiced another of my fears that made me a little less panicky. “Do you think this hunk of junk can even make it that far?”
“Only one way to find out. All you have to do is get in and drive.”
I glanced from her to the steering wheel, thinking of the painful drive here. I hadn’t seen any of the sweeping desert landscape or the pretty sunsets. I’d been too distracted by my tears and the ache in my chest. The chance to see it all again . . .
Hell, who was I kidding? The chance to see Luke again?
I’d give just about anything for that.
When I slid into the driver’s seat, Valentina jumped for joy, literally hopped up and down before climbing in beside me, all smiles.
“You’re my hero right now. Look at you, all badass and awesome and taking a risk. I’m so proud of you.”
“Calm down,” I said with a chuckle. “We’re going to chase a boy. It’s not like we discovered the cure for cancer.”
To be honest, I was only playing it cool. If I had my way, I’d have done somersaults and cartwheels all down the street at the idea of seeing Luke again. This was who I wanted to be all along—a woman who knew what she wanted and grabbed life by the balls. I just needed a little shove from my bestie.
But what would Luke do when he saw me? What would he say?
Jesus, what if I got there and he wasn’t alone? Could he have found another girl in the week that I’d been gone?
Dread coiled through me at that thought, and Valentina and I discussed it at length over the next several hours, along with my speech for Luke once we arrived. We laughed and talked about what we’d do when we got to Shady Grove, and I promised her a day trip to Austin since she’d sacrificed so much for my love life.
? ? ?
Two days later, my heart started pounding as I drove through San Antonio.