Sexy Lies and Rock & Roll

There’s just no fucking way.

That day Emma was here and saw me in that compromising situation was possibly the worst day of my life. And I had a show to do that night, and I did it because it’s my job and I had to. But it fucking sucked. I wasn’t into the music. There wasn’t a flicker of excitement within me. The evening dragged on, and I couldn’t wait for it to be fucking over. I didn’t give an encore.

Instead, I went back to my bus and I barked at Tyler to leave me the fuck alone when he tried to come in, explaining I needed to attend the after-party. He backed away and has stayed out of my way since. No clue what he told people to explain my absence.

The following day, I couldn’t stand the not knowing. I couldn’t live with the blank spots in that evening, wondering how in the fuck I ended up with a woman in my bed when Tyler said he’d left me alone. Specifically, he said he’d been there when I’d puked, helped me get my shirt off, and got me into bed.

So I called Frank to find out more details. I couldn’t get him on the phone, so I called Rick. He answered and I didn’t pull any punches, told him exactly what went down with Emma. Then I asked him what in the fuck happened after that club.

And I was somewhat heartened.

“Man… I have no clue how you ended up with a woman,” he said in confusion. “All you talked about all night was Emma. At the club, it was Emma. Tyler wanted to take us all to the strip club, but you wouldn’t… because of Emma. We got back to the bus, drank some more, and ordered pizzas. And it was all Emma, Emma, Emma. We left when you got sick. The limo took us to the hotel Tyler had arranged. Dude… you were in no shape to entertain a woman, I swear to fucking God.”

Yes, that was some vindication, but I needed more. At some point, a woman ended up on that bus with me.

I probably would have never figured it out if it weren’t for Midge.

While I’ve not talked to her by phone as I’m in a brooding and ignoring mood, she did text me not long after Emma arrived in Raleigh. I was grateful for the news that she was safe, but not overly grateful at Midge’s text.

What in the hell happened, Evan Michael Scott?

I always knew she was pissed at me when she called me by my full name. I was also pissed because Midge was my aunt and she needed to be a little worried about her heartbroken nephew. Our text exchange went a little like this.

Me: I’m not in the mood for your dramatics.

Midge: Tough shit. Emma’s in her dad’s guest room crying her eyes out.

Me: Well, maybe you should ask her.

I know it was a shitty thing to say, because none of this was Emma’s fault.

Midge: I did. She just said that it was clearly a bad idea to try to surprise you.

Me: She has that right. And because I had to tell her the truth but I was still prickly, I said, She found me in bed with another woman.

Midge: EVAN MICHAEL SCOTT! HOW COULD YOU?

Me: I didn’t do anything. It’s a complete fucking catastrophe, but I swear I didn’t do anything.

There was a long pause. Like a ten-minute pause and I was pretty sure she’d cut me from her life.

But then, she wrote: I don’t understand. Tyler knew she was coming in to surprise you. How could he have let you get so drunk?

When that text chimed, I was relieved Midge hadn’t disowned me, then I became so overwhelmed with rage when I read her words that I thought I was going to stroke out. My vision actually went hazy, and I had an undeniable urge to murder Tyler.

That fucker knew Emma was coming in to surprise me?

And he let me get that way?

And whoa… wait a fucking New York minute… when I told him Emma was here, he acted surprised. Like he didn’t know.

And that fucker knew according to Midge.

I didn’t respond to her text, but barreled right off the bus. We were at a rest stop about an hour outside of Indianapolis, our next concert stop, and my eyes lasered onto Tyler. He was standing outside of the other bus, laughing with some of the road crew.

He didn’t see me coming.

Not until the last second anyway.

His head turned to me, his face awash with a cheery smile, and all I remember is it sliding off when he realized an enraged bull was charging at him.

Then he was on the ground, and I was on top of him. I got in one solid punch to his face, felt his nose crunch, and then Red was pulling me off him. The road crew guys helped Tyler up, blood leaking from his left nostril.

“What the fuck?” he yelled as he wiped at his nose with the back of his hand.

Red had me held from behind but I raised a shaking hand at him. “You goddamn motherfucker. You knew Emma was coming in to visit me the next morning. You acted surprised when I told you, but you knew. You lied to my fucking face about it, and I want to know why.”