When Joseph would have taken her in his arms, she held her hands out, palms up. “No, Joseph, I truly need to talk to you.” Clasping her hands together, she tried hard not to wring them. Whatever she thought of him, she owed him this. The truth, to tell him what he needed to know.
Joseph flicked his coat skirts out of the way and sat. He was wearing brown, his favorite color. True, the shade was a rich one, and as subdued as the dull red coat Gerald had worn the other day, but he did not have the body to fill it out. Nor did his costume have the touch of the tailor, the flourishes and details that marked the garment out as fashionable.
Once Annie would have said she preferred a man who dressed simply. Now she knew that was not true. But she had made a bargain. Every deal she had ever made, whether personal or business, had always been honest and straightforward. This marriage was no different. They would sign the immensely complicated documents tomorrow that would bind them as securely as their marriage would on Saturday. There would be no going back.
“Joseph, I have become aware in recent weeks, that is, not aware, that is, something has been missing.”
“I’m afraid I don’t follow.” The ice-cool tones dropped into the air between them like stones.
“No, I suppose you do not.” She laughed nervously. What was she, a young girl again, stammering her vows on her wedding day? She lifted her chin to steady the trembling that consumed her. “The thing is, that is I mean—I think I’m pregnant.”
His dark eyes warmed, then glowed, then opened wide. “How can that be, when we have not anticipated the wedding?”
“I had a moment of madness.”
“You were raped?”
“No!” The notion appalled her. “This was before you made your intentions clear.” Surely she was allowed that single white lie.
He gave a nod. “You had a lover.” His hand, resting on the arm of the chair, tightened into a claw. “Do you want to tell me who was the fortunate recipient of your attentions?”
Her breath caught in her throat. If she told him it was Gerald, he would destroy him. “No. What I did at that time was entirely my concern. It only happened once, and it was, as I said, a moment of madness.”
A spot of color rested high on his cheeks. He was in a temper. But she had learned from observing him with his underlings that Joseph did not bluster, or shout. He remained rigidly in control of himself, though God knew what he did in private. He had not treated her carefully, although he had not been deliberately rough—at least, she did not think he had. But she knew he whipped the boys in his office when they did wrong. Perhaps he would whip her. He would be within his rights come Saturday.
“I see. You do understand that I cannot accept another man’s get as my heir.”
She nodded, a little too hastily. This could be her way out. From the day she suspected she might be pregnant, she had begun to work out an alternative plan. “I am sorry, Joseph.”
Would he call off the wedding? Inwardly she prayed for it.
“If you are in that condition, you will have to rid yourself of it. You may stay in town until you cannot hide it any longer, then you will go away. We will think of some excuse. You will have the child, and leave it behind.”
“What am I to do with it?”
“I care not. I do not want it referenced again. I will care for your sons, as I have promised, but I will not look after your bastard.”
Because yes, that was what it would be. She had already worked out some of the plan, assuming she would face the pregnancy alone. With the fashion for hooped skirts, she could hide the pregnancy until her sixth, maybe seventh month.
Then she would go into the country, hire a cottage by the sea, as so many women did, and pose as a widow until she had the child. She could find a home for it, but she would not cut the baby out of her life. How could she do that when the child could have only one parent?
Her current tussle had been whether she should tell Gerald. But that would do no good at all. He was marrying someone else. She would not be a mistress, and she would not be the cause of dissension in his marriage.
“I thought to bring the child home, and claim it was the offspring of the woman I left town to care for. A relative, who had left her baby in my care.” That, in a nutshell, was her plan.
“No,” he said.
He was taking the news as if she was telling him of a slight accident. How could he be so calm? Did he care nothing for her at all?
Another man would be raving by now, and while he was undoubtedly angry, she was not sure why. It could be he was annoyed his plans were not to come to fruition. “At least it proves you remain fertile,” he said. “I say nothing for your morals, but be sure, madam, once we are married you will never stray again. I will have an extra coda put in the agreement to that effect. If you take another lover, I will not only hunt him down and destroy him, I will ensure you are put under lock and key. Do I make myself clear?”