“Earls don’t need invitations?”
“Generally not. We just go where we want.” Wickham grinned. “We should all go together. We shall dazzle the debutants with our manly selves.”
There was only one debutant who required dazzling. And, if the Gods were with him, she would attend.
*
“I don’t want to go,” Tildy said, even as her maid pulled tight on her stays.
“Nonsense.” Aunt Elizabeth, like a mother hen, clucked around, supervising her dressing. And what a to-do it was.
“Why do I need to wear so many layers?”
“It is the way things are done. Now hush. Let’s get the gown on. Careful of your hair.”
Her hair had been brushed and straightened and forced into a coiffure so tight nary a curl could escape. She did not feel like herself without her hair.
It all felt like an affectation. Some desperate attempt to make her look like a biddable, innocent girl. She was neither.
But Aunt Elizabeth had been kind to her, and generous, letting her stay and keeping her brother at bay. It was only polite to let her have her fun. She seemed certain that Tildy would attend the ball tonight and find that perfect man who could make all her dreams come true.
It was a hopeless hope. Over the past few days, Tildy had had plenty of time to think on it, and she’d realized she would never find a man who could make all her dreams come true at a society ball.
There was only one man who could.
And he was lost to her.
Oh, how she wished she’d paid attention to the location of his lodgings. Somewhere in St. James was all she knew, and there had not been an opportunity to go a’hunting. Perhaps tomorrow her aunt would allow her a smidgen of freedom and she could begin her search. But still, the question remained, even if she did find the house he’d been staying in for a few days, would he be there still? She doubted it but could not scuttle the need to find out.
Who knew where he would be now?
What a mess.
But she was determined to find him again. And pose a question.
Granted, he was only a soldier and her brother would never approve and in all likelihood, Dev was probably glad to have gotten what he had and pleased to be rid of her…but she had to at least try.
She had to give them a chance.
In the meantime, she would play Aunt Elizabeth’s game and pretend to search for a husband.
It was just damned annoying.
Her aunt squealed and slapped her hands. “You look ravishing, darling!” She set her hands on Tildy’s shoulders and turned her to the glass. Some strange doe-like creature stared back. To her horror, she realized…she looked like them. All the mindless, simpering cattle on the marriage mart.
Her belly dropped.
“Are you not thrilled?”
She forced a smile. “Of course.”
“Oh, tonight is going to be brilliant. Just you wait and see. You will be the belle of the ball.”
She didn’t want to be the belle of anything. “I would rather stay home with a book.”
“Nonsense. Ladies don’t read.”
Oh, lovely. One more thing she would have to give up.
“Aunt Elizabeth—”
“Now, now, Matilda. No more moping about.”
“I wasn’t moping.”
“You have been. For days. Put a smile on your face and for God’s sake, try to be charming tonight, won’t you? For me?” She waited until Tildy nodded and then she wrapped her in a fragrant hug. “Excellent. Shall we? The carriage is waiting.”
For a brief second, she had the urge to run away again, but she quashed it.
After all, she had nowhere else to go.
CHAPTER TEN
THE BALL WAS WELL UNDERWAY when Tildy and Aunt Elizabeth arrived, which was good form, her aunt assured her. “One does not want to be early.” But when Tildy asked why not, there was no answer.
As they stood at the top of the stairs, looking down on the glittering assembly, Tildy’s mood lifted. It seemed like a lovely event…and there appeared to be all manner of food and drink, lovely music and plenty of places to hide from suitors if the need arose.
She couldn’t help thinking that if things had been different, if she had really been a debutant attending her first ball in search of a white knight, it would have been exciting beyond bearing.
As it was, she was simply here to pretend to search for an acceptable suitor, to please her aunt. Still, there was no reason she could not have a good time. So she did.
She danced with several men, allowed two of them to bring her lemonade and one to bring her a plate. Before long, she found herself surrounded by a veritable phalanx of young men. They were witty and attentive and laughed at her jests—even when they were not funny—and blandished her with flowery compliments, none of which she believed for a second.
It was a pleasant way of passing the time.
But never, for an instant, had one of them truly garnered her attention.