Well, that’s not good. Okay. Let’s stay.
The hours roll by. I sit against a tree and come up with no solutions as it grows quiet around the fire. I’ve just settled into a zone where I’m half asleep when I see Daryn walking toward me.
She sits right beside me. “Hey, Riot.”
I have to smile. It’s awesome that she thinks of him first. He thinks so, too.
“How are you doing?” she asks, bumping me with her elbow.
“Really great. You?”
“Not great at all.”
She rests her head on my shoulder and loops her arm through mine. Just having her near makes me feel better. I don’t want to spoil the moment by bringing Samrael up, but I can’t stop myself. “I’ve decided to knock Bas out and carry him out of here unconscious. Good plan, don’t you think?”
“Not if you want to keep your friendship with him. I don’t think he’d forgive you for doing that. He’s pretty set, Gideon.”
“I’m pretty set, too.”
“I know.”
I push out a breath, trying to loosen the knot in my chest. “So what’s next, Martin? Where do we go from here?”
“Bas wants to take us all back to where they’ve been staying. It’s a fortified settlement he calls Gray Fort.”
“Sounds fun.”
“He thinks if we talk to Samrael and listen to what he has to say, we’ll see.”
“Where to aim our arrows and blades?”
“Gideon, what Bas is saying matches up to what Samrael said to me the first time I saw him. He wanted to take me to Bas. He offered protection. Safety. I didn’t believe him at the time. But if I had, maybe this could have all been avoided. Maybe Low wouldn’t have died, and we wouldn’t—”
“No. You did the right thing.”
She raises her head. “How can you be sure? What if Bas is right and Samrael has changed?”
“It sounds like you’re trying to defend the guy who cut off my hand.”
“No. I’m not. But I want to go home. I want to bring Bas home. I want us all to get out of here. I want to do the right thing, even if it’s really hard, and I don’t see any alternative here. People make mistakes. They deserve second chances. If I didn’t believe that, then I would never have the courage to go back home. I need to believe my parents and my sister will forgive me for leaving them. Haven’t you ever wanted to change something you did or said? Make up for it?”
All the damn time, I think. She’s got me. I excel at losing my temper and doing or saying something I have to try to patch up later. War is not who I am, it’s my vice. It’s what I deal with daily. “All right. People deserve second chances. But do demons?”
“Demons were angels once. Samrael was a servant of God. A direct servant. I can’t imagine feeling greater regret than turning away from that.”
Another good point.
Why is she making so many good points?
“Do you have any idea what he took from me, Daryn? I’ve never hated anything as much as him. I’ll kill him before I give him a second chance.”
“You think killing him would make you feel better?”
“Absolutely.”
“What about your dad? He died but you still love him, don’t you?”
I don’t like where this is going. “Of course.”
“So it’s transcended death. You could say the love you feel is eternal.”
“You could say that.”
“Why do you think your hate would be any different? If love transcends death, why doesn’t hatred?”
“Because Samrael deserves to die and my dad didn’t.”
Daryn stares at me. “I don’t think killing Samrael would rid you of the hatred. I think all you’d be doing is adding layers of guilt. I know you. You’re not cold-blooded.”
Bastian’s words shoot through my mind. You only justify it by saying it’s for the right reason. “You’re giving me too much credit.”
“I’m not. You have a big heart and a big conscience.”
“I have a bigger sword. This isn’t just about me. If we let Samrael out, we’re endangering everyone. We’d be right back where we started. We know he’s a mind manipulator. I know what he can do—it’s not good, Daryn. He uses your worst fears against you. I only experienced it for a few weeks. Bas has been here for months.”
“You think he brainwashed Bas?”
“What other explanation is there?”
“Bas is telling the truth. Samrael has changed. Why else would he want to leave here? In the fall, Samrael’s entire goal was getting in here to amass power, remember? He wanted to form an evil army with the Kindred. Maybe he doesn’t want that anymore. Maybe he wants what Bas is saying. A fresh start.”
“No,” I say. “It’s what Samrael wants us to think, but he hasn’t changed. If we let him out of the Rift, all hell breaks loose. He’ll form his own little band of rebel demons and it’ll be the same thing all over again. Or worse. We stopped the Kindred in the fall, Daryn. They need to stay stopped. I have no problem carrying around some personal guilt if it means keeping thousands, maybe millions of innocent people safe.
“If we do what Bas wants and go to this fortified location, the odds are I’ll kill Samrael, or he’ll kill me. That’s just the reality here. It’s the reality of this situation.”
Daryn blinks at me. Then she takes my wrist and pulls my arm around her, tucking her head against my chest like she’s listening for my heartbeat.
I freeze. I’m clenching my teeth so hard I’m giving myself a headache. “You’re throwing me off balance here, Martin. What is this tactic, anyway?”
“I just like the way you feel.”
I hear myself laugh. It sounds like the laugh of someone in pain.
She firms her grip around my waist, and her body heat reaches me. Her scent. One breath at a time, she wins. I relax and pull her all the way in. “You kill me, Martin,” I whisper into her hair. “I really like you.”
She reaches for my prosthetic, and weaves her fingers through its metal ones like it’s part of me. “Same.”
It’s so quiet that I can hear her every breath. I scan the area around us, checking for relics, hauntings. Harrows. I don’t know what it’s like to not expect danger anymore.
“Gideon,” Daryn says, her voice gentle and soft. “We have to leave room to consider every possibility.”
I thought we were done. I wanted to be done. “I can’t, Daryn. I’m not trying to be bullheaded. But I can’t forgive Samrael for what he did. We could talk about this for a year. I’m never going to see this the way you do.”
“Then trust me. Trust how I see it.”
“You know I trust you. Don’t put me in this position.”
She leans back and looks at me. “Think about it? Just think about it.”
How can I say no? I nod.
She smiles. “Thanks.” She slides into my lap and wraps her arms around my neck. Then there’s nothing else but her.
*