The word but hung heavy in the air. “I’m not who you thought I was.”
“No,” she said. “You’re exactly who I thought you were, and you warned me right up front. And I thought I could handle it, but last night, I realized that I don’t think I can.”
“What does that mean?”
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I think that for right now, it might be best to slow things down a bit. Between us, I mean. With all that’s going on…” She didn’t finish. But she didn’t have to.
“What are you going to do about the guy following you?”
“I don’t know. It’s hard for me to even think straight right now.”
“That’s what he wants. He wants you worried and afraid, constantly on edge.”
She pushed her hands into her hair, kneading her temples. When she spoke, her voice was ragged. “Right now, I feel like I’m stuck in this awful dream and all I want to do is wake up… And on top of everything else, I have to support my parents. My dad wants to bury Copo tonight, and that’s only going to make him even more emotional. My mom, too. And this rain… Of all the weekends for Copo to die, why this one?”
Colin peered out at the backyard. “How about I help get things ready?”
Maria brought him a shovel from the garage, and after a little back-and-forth between Maria and Felix, Colin started digging a hole in the shade of an oak tree, rain soaking through his shirt. He remembered doing the same thing for his own dog, Penny, a long-haired miniature dachshund. The dog had slept with him in bed when he’d still been living at home, and while at school he’d missed her more than his family.
He remembered how hard it had been to dig the grave the summer after his sophomore year; it was one of the few times he could recall crying since the first year he’d been sent away. With every shovelful of dirt, he’d had a memory of Penny – running through the grass or nipping at a butterfly – and he wanted to spare Felix that.
The task also got him away from Maria. He understood her need for space right now, even if he didn’t like thinking about the reason. He knew he’d screwed up royally, and right now, she was probably trying to figure out whether Colin was worth the risk.
When Colin finished digging the pit under the tree, the family buried Copo. Again, all four of them cried and exchanged hugs. And after they went back inside, Colin began to shovel the dirt back in place, his thoughts returning to the stalker and the fact that Maria was being followed. He wondered what the stalker’s next move might be. And he decided then and there that whether Maria wanted him in her life or not, he would be there if she ever needed him.
“Are you sure?” Maria asked him, standing with him on the front porch. “I’d be happy to drive you home.” Inside, Carmen and Serena were making dinner. Felix, as far as Colin knew, was still on the back porch, sitting alone and holding Copo’s collar.
“I’ll be okay. I need to run anyway.”
“But it’s still raining.”
“I’m already wet.”
“Isn’t it kind of far? Like five or six miles?”
“You need to stay here with your family,” he said, and for a moment, neither of them said anything. “Can I call you?” he finally asked.
Her gaze flickered toward the house before returning to him. “Why don’t I call you?”
He nodded before taking a step backward, and without another word, he turned and began to run.
Maria didn’t call for the rest of the week, and it was the first time in his life that he cared enough about a girl for that to actually matter to him. Or enough for him to even think about it in unexpected moments, or whenever the phone rang – which wasn’t often.