I again went still and kept my hands between us to give as much distance as he would afford me.
“That’s part of why I can’t have you. But you’re not about that. You’re not them. You haven’t shared that with me. I still know it down to my balls. You know it too ’cause you live it. So why won’t you let yourself have me?” he asked.
You’re not them.
Yes, he’d figured me out.
“Sebring—”
He lost it.
“Nick!” he thundered, giving me an abrupt, rough shake.
“Nick,” I whispered, pressing my hands into his chest, not to get away but in a gesture I hoped was soothing.
He stilled and the tumult of his eyes calmed.
God, just that, his name and a simple touch from me and he calmed.
Was he that attuned to me?
“Who burned you?” he whispered back.
Oh no.
I closed my eyes.
“Livvie.”
My throat clogged.
No one called me Livvie.
No one.
Livvie didn’t exist.
Not for anyone.
But me.
“Baby, who burned you?” Nick pushed gently.
I opened my eyes.
“Who burned you?” he pressed.
I stared into blue.
“Who burned you, baby?”
“I can’t be with you,” I told him.
“Who burned you, Livvie?”
“I can’t be with you, Nick.”
“Who burned you?”
“I can’t be with you because my father is a piece of shit and I care about you too much to have his stink settle on you.”
Nick went silent.
But the room went wired.
He heard me and he got me.
Every word.
He got me.
He knew who burned me.
He knew, my father burning me, there was no me. There was just Vincent Shade’s daughter, and me not even having me, I couldn’t give myself to someone else.
I felt the electricity snap against my skin, but for Nick I had to force out my plea.
“Let me go.”
Nick didn’t move or speak.
I slid my hands up and curled them around either side of his neck.
“You need to let me go, sweetheart,” I whispered.
He moved then.
He slammed his mouth down on mine and kissed me.
I didn’t bother fighting it. It had been weeks since I’d seen him, touched him, heard his voice. If I couldn’t fight it to stop something from starting that I knew for the both of us was unhealthy, the need I had for him after weeks without him was impossible to beat.
So, no.
I didn’t fight it.
I kissed him back.
He moved us toward his bed.
On our way we tore at each other’s clothes. I heard ripping. I knew I popped some buttons off his shirt. I didn’t care about either.
I just needed him.
We fell to the bed partially clothed. We made frantic but light work rectifying that.
If before sex had been a battle for control for us, now it was war.
It wasn’t hungry.
It was wild. Frenzied.
Abandoned.
I had no thought. Not one. Not about anything but what I was feeling and what I could make him feel.
In return, Nick’s intensity cocooned me. The world melted away. There wasn’t even his bedroom. His bed. These were incidentals. They existed without existing.
It was just him. The noises he made. The feel of his body. His smell. His hands on me. Mine on him. Our tongues. Our teeth. His cock. My *.
Reduced to that, safe in Nick, trusting in that moment that was just him, only him, nothing else existing, I eventually gave in and gave him everything.
I gave him the real me.
Safe with Nick, I submitted.
Relaxing into the position he’d earned, his hand wrapped around the back of my neck, my cheek pressed to the bed, arms under me, ass in the air, taking his cock, he felt my capitulation and drove in faster.
“You mine?” he grunted.
“Yes,” I whispered.
He had me.
So he claimed more.
I felt his thumb invade my ass.
My eyes drifted blissfully closed and my body started trembling.
“You mine?” he growled.
“Yes,” I breathed.
His hand at my neck held me down while he fucked my ass with his thumb and my cunt with his cock.
“You mine?” he bit out.
“Yes,” I repeated. “Yes, Nick. Keep fucking me. Please. Keep…fucking…me.”
He kept fucking me and my trembling turned to shuddering, the violence of it growing more and more as I felt him take me and listened to our noises fill the room. The sound of our fucking. His low grunts. My heavy breathing.
Suddenly, I knew I was going to lose hold on it, my orgasm was going to overwhelm me and I couldn’t let that happen. I had to keep it together. I had to live that moment for eternity. It couldn’t be over. I’d never have it back. I’d never be nothing but Nick’s. I’d never have him all to me.
“No,” I whispered, the word breaking, trying to lock against his thrusts so I could freeze us in time, keep my climax at bay, have what we had right then forever.
“Livvie?”
“No,” I whimpered. “Don’t…wanna…lose you,” I panted.
His thumb slid gently out of my ass and his hand at my neck moved in, around and down until he had it hooked at my chest.
He pulled me up as he kept powering up inside me, his lips now at my ear.
“I’m right here,” he said.