Out of the corner of my eye, I could see his body shift uncomfortably from one foot to the other.
“Fell,” he said abruptly. He cleared his throat. “I fell. Hit it.”
Good. That was good. Now he could go.
“Ah,” Ava said, nodding. “On what?”
Oh my god, I’d kill her.
“A table. The table next to the couch.” I could feel his eyes boring into the top of my head, but I would not look at him. I would not. In fact, I would not look at any of them. I needed to examine my doughnut very, very carefully.
“Hmm. That’s weird,” Ava said, innocently. “How did that happen? Did you…trip…or something?”
“Yeah, yeah. I tripped.”
“Really? Over what?” Fabulous. Lizzie had managed to stifle her laughter and now she’d joined in.
“I don’t know. My own feet, I guess.”
Ava cocked her head. “That’s weird. You’re always so graceful.”
“Please don’t ever say that about me again.”
“Yeah,” Scarlet said. “That’s not a manly enough term for a man like Marc. Is it, Madison?”
I turned my death ray eyes in Scarlet’s direction. Did I say I wished for invisibility? I meant laser eyes.
Fortunately, Ava skipped over Scarlet’s interjection. “I just meant that it’s strange to think of you tripping over your own feet. Now, if there’d maybe been something else to trip over, like if you’d gotten tangled up in something on the floor, say like…a blanket. Or an article of clothing—”
“Or another person!” Scarlet offered.
Lizzie nodded. “And if there’d been alcohol involved.”
Obviously I’d have to get an entirely new set of friends. Besties since freshman year or not, we were done. Clearly the days of having each other’s backs were gone, replaced by an anything-for-comedy era. It would have been hilarious, too, if it were someone else but me.
“There may have been some wine,” Marc affirmed. “You know, Madison was there. She should tell it.”
My head popped up at the sound of my name.
Marc met my gaze, panic alight in his eyes. “She should tell it.”
Did he just throw me under the bus? Hell, no was I standing for that. “It’s really your story. I think it’s much better if you’re the one who shares it.”
“But you’re a much better story teller,” he insisted.
“Really,” I said, my teeth gritted. “They want to hear it from you.”
“Yes, you tell it,” Ava agreed.
“I wanna hear it from you, too,” Scarlet said eagerly.
Lizzie would probably have encouraged him as well if she hadn’t been busy trying to untangle her hair from Charlotte’s chubby fingers.
Maybe I’d let them live after all. But only maybe.
Obviously outvoted, Marc sighed. He pulled out a chair and sat down.
“Well. There was some wine. And an article of clothing. And another person. But not the way you seem to think.” Here he cut me an accusatory look. I just wide-eyed him back innocently.
“So I’d had a long weekend at the farm, and Jerry Helm had given me a bottle of white wine. I also stopped and picked up a bottle of red, because I wasn’t sure which one my roommate here would like, and I felt like we should try and get to know the people we’ve been living with for the last six months.”
So far, so good. He hadn’t lied, nor had he mentioned Couch Night Part One.
“We sat and drank and talked. I was extremely good at the figuring out the tasting notes in each bottle, I thought Madison was actually a little jealous. She complained about her sister, and expressed deep admiration for my keen sense of fragrance. Actually, working with my mom on her body-care line is probably how I got so good at wine in the first place.”
He smiled widely at me, and I could tell that villain was starting to enjoy himself. Jerk.
“What kind of wine are you into, Marc?” Ava asked.
“My favorite right now is probably this nice Californian, called Flip Flop.”
Ava’s smile grew as wide as his. “Go on,” she said. “You were busy being an expert?”
“Yes, yes I was. And then Madison dribbled some red wine down her white shirt. Gentleman that I am, I helped her remove it, but then I tripped on it as I gallantly went to go fetch her another one.”
“What a gentleman you are.” Ava was still grinning like a jack o’lantern.
“I do wonder how the shirt ended up on the floor, though?” Lizzie asked.
“I have to pee!” Scarlet said, quite clearly more in need of a good giggle than a pee. She fled.
Marc stood up abruptly, instead of answering. “I just remembered I have a…thing.”
Ava wasn’t about to let him go that easily. “A thing? School’s out now.”
“I’m, uh, meeting someone.”
Lizzie blinked her eyes. “A girl someone?”
Again, I kicked her under the table. She’d have a bruise later, and I didn’t feel one bit bad about it. Although—he wasn’t meeting a girl, was he?
“No!” Marc answered in a rush. He took a breath and added calmly, “No, not a girl. Someone else. For…” I watched his eyes scan the room in desperation, saw them land on the open calendar of the woman sitting at the next table. “Planners. About planners.” He shook his head, correcting himself. “About plans. For next year’s class schedule. Of course. Right.” He stood another moment in silence. Then, without another word, he grabbed his bag and his cup and turned to go.
“Bye, Marc!” Ava called after him. “Tell Aunt Dee Dee I said hi the next time you go home!”
Lizzie was already laughing so hard she had to put her head on the table. And as soon as the door shut behind him, Ava joined in the hysterics and Scarlet came running back over to us.
“Who told it better?” Scarlet asked. Pretending her hand were a microphone, she pointed it toward Lizzie for an answer.
“Oooh. Tough one. Marc’s version wouldn’t have been as funny without Madison’s first, so I’m going to have to vote her.”
“Can we all take a moment to discuss how the budding sommelier drinks Flip Flop?” Ava asked. I didn’t get it.
“Wait a minute!” Scarlet said dramatically. “I just realized that Madison has seen that man naked.” She sighed contentedly as if she were imagining it.
I rolled my eyes and turned to Ava. “Can we be serious, though? Now he’s lying to you. He’s lying to protect me, or himself, or whatever but it isn’t cool. I am humiliated. Also I’m ruining your family dynamic. I swear, I will never kiss your cousin again.”
“Are you kidding me? Following your exploits is the funniest thing that’s happened in my family since Aunt Cheryl accidentally set Gran’s hair on fire.”
“How…?” Lizzie murmured.
“You can’t spray hairspray with a cigarette in your hand,” Ava helpfully informed the table. “Anyway, I think you two are a joy together. I don’t want to hear about his cucumber, but by all means, keep banging him.”
“I’m not banging him!” I protested.
“She should not bang him. If it doesn’t work out, she’ll be living with someone who will for all practical purposes be her ex, and that just doesn’t even sound healthy to me,” Scarlet said.