This was so incredibly depressing to Gideon that he went straight to Wendy’s to get her a Frosty.
His least favorite part of their regular mall excursion was coming up. It was the giant Victoria’s Secret looming across the clear walkway. He had to be the only eighteen-year-old guy who dreaded walking past Victoria’s Secret because a girl who liked him wanted to get lacy things.
“We can’t stop in there,” he said firmly.
“But you’re supposed to want me to buy very padded cups!”
Gideon stopped and frowned. He might be losing his mind, but it sounded like something loud and aggressive was going on in there. It was hard to tell, since the whole store was basically one very padded cup.
He snapped away from the distraction. “That—I don’t even know wha—look, that doesn’t even sound appealing.”
“Oh. Sorry. Is this better?” She lowered her voice to a sultry whisper. “I want to get some panties for you.” Then she stopped and looked confused. “Well, not for you—”
“Okay, that’s enough.”
But Ashbot was already walking inside, a woman-robot on a mission.
I thought you’re supposed to listen to me, he thought, irritated, as he followed her.
They walked straight into a fury of shouting, indignant hair tossing, and handmade signs: MISS ORDINARIA IS MISS-GUIDED and GET SEX ROBOTS OUT OF PEMBROOKE. He recognized most of the girls from school. And they recognized him. They immediately started shrieking wordlessly at him, like he was an evil Beatle.
The black-clad Victoria’s Secret employees were even more frantic than usual, trying their best to get it under control.
Before Gideon could stop her, Ashbot bypassed her usual favorite, boy shorts with pink on the ass (they were Gideon’s favorite too—he had no idea how she’d picked that up), and pushed straight into the yelling crowd, as polite and chipper as ever.
“Pardon!”
“Your dad is ruining our school!” shouted a dark-haired girl he recognized from AP Chem.
“Your dad is ruining our lives!” sobbed a large girl in a cardigan.
“Jessicarose, weeping isn’t constructive,” the dark-haired girl snapped.
Their squabble let him slip through the crowd and catch up with Ashbot.
He found her staring up at a giant display of new merchandise, mostly black, red, and white lacy underthings. But this particular line came in only two sizes—two perfect sizes based on surveys, research, and years of work. One for a woman aged thirty to fifty, the other for a teenage girl.
The large sign above the underwear table read:
FOR THE NATURAL ORDINARIA
(AND NEW MISS ORDINARIA!)
Ashbot looked dazed, like she was having a major revelation. Like whoever first invented fire. Gideon grabbed her arm.
“Come on. Now. We have to get out of here.”
The crowd started jeering and snapping thongs at them. A bejeweled one nearly hit Ashbot in the face. Gideon whacked it off course.
As he tried to firmly steer her out, she kept saying, “I get it now! I get it!”
Gideon gritted his teeth, trying not to elbow that sobbing girl in the face as he hustled them both out. “You get what?”
“People are mad because they want to be like me.”
Her tone was hard for Gideon to read.
Behind him, the protesters engaged in a collective groan/eye-roll situation. And one of them piped up from the way back: “Um, really? Anonymous would disagree.”
A bolt of lightning struck Gideon.
“Wait—what did you just say?”
Chapter 9
xLoupxGaroux: FINALLY, a slash couple: Jason/Gideon. Thanks for throwing me a bone.
WillianShipper2000: idk he seems pretty straight to me! :DD
xLoupxGaroux: babe, the ones who try too hard? they always try too hard for a reason.
DavidaTheDeadly: gideon and ashbot! #yasssss #gidbot?
MorwennaWraith: Hey, been lurking on here since the last chapter!! And OMG YES TOTALLY I THOUGHT I’D BE ALONE. #gidbot
WillianShipper2000: they’re sooo perfect and Gideon doesn’t even know it.
MorwennaWraith: I mean of course he wouldn’t want to be with her bc she’s his father’s invention but . . . romeo and juliet, namsaying?!
DavidaTheDeadly: yes yes yes exactly
MorwennaWraith: #gidbot!! i’m gonna go draw them right now in fact.
DavidaTheDeadly: oh! link when it’s up pls. i need a new pic for my cube.
xLoupxGaroux: Anonymous had better be a hot guy, is all I’m saying.
DavidaTheDeadly: this could be such a great character arc for both of them: gideon helps ashbot realize her worth, ashbot helps gideon not take everything so effing seriously . . .
I’m getting nauseated, so I jump in at this point.
Scarface: Guys, she’s a robot.
MorwennaWraith: That’s not what John would do. He’d make her better than the sum of her parts, LITERALLY
Scarface: But, like . . . maybe she’s just a robot. You know?
DavidaTheDeadly: um . . . no? what do you mean? if that’s true, who’s gideon’s otp?