“Can I get you anything? Are you hungry?” Lance turned to stare at her, his gaze searching, assessing. “Tea or coffee?”
“No.” Morgan pictured Bud’s face as the surgeon gave him the news. “I wonder how Nick is.” Emotions too conflicted to identify surged in Morgan’s chest. Anger, frustration, helplessness, all boiled together into a toxic stew. “Do you have anything to drink?”
“I’m not sure. Let me look.” Lance opened and closed three cabinets. In back of the lazy Susan, he found a bottle of whiskey, still in its box. Obviously a gift, the bottle had a red bow tied around its neck. “Since I started working for Sharp, I gave up most alcohol as part of his get-Lance-healthy campaign. He’s not opposed to organic wine or beer. The guys on the SFPD gave me this as a good-bye gift.”
He splashed a tiny amount into a glass and handed it to her. She took a small sip. The whiskey burned a path from her tongue to her belly. Finally, some warmth.
“Do you mind if I take a shower?” he asked.
“Not at all.” She took another swallow of whiskey. “I’ll be here.”
He disappeared down the hall.
She reached for the bottle, poured a more generous shot, and tossed it down. Slowly, the numbness receded, like floodwater after a storm. Her phone rang. She fumbled in her pocket to draw it out.
“Yes?” She held her breath.
“This is Bud’s sister. He asked me to call you with an update. He’s with Nick now. His blood pressure has come up a bit. So that’s good news. I have to go now. Bud needs me.”
“Thank you for calling,” Morgan said.
Bud’s sister ended the call. Morgan wandered to the piano. She sat and placed her glass of whiskey on a conveniently placed coaster. She’d taken lessons as a little girl, but now the only song she could plunk out was “Chopsticks.”
Lance returned. He was wearing a pair of athletic shorts and a snug T-shirt. A towel hung around his neck. He rubbed it over his head, making his short blond hair stand straight up.
“Nick is holding on.”
“Good.”
She played a few notes. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“Of course not.” He joined her on the bench.
“Play something.”
He nudged her over a few inches. She’d been around him enough to know that he favored classic rock so the opening chords of “Hallelujah” shocked her. When he opened his mouth and sang, she was even more surprised. His voice was deep and smooth, inflective and filled with emotion.
She joined him on the chorus but lost her voice as they reached the cold and broken verse. Something cracked deep inside her. She let him finish solo. By time the final notes faded to silence, tears streamed down her face.
She turned and faced him. “This isn’t right. Teenagers shouldn’t die. Tessa should be alive, and Nick should be thinking about which movie to take her to this weekend. How did this happen?”
She picked up her whiskey, wishing it would hurry up and numb her.
“This isn’t the way to handle it.” Lance reached for her glass. “How about some food? An omelet?”
“I’m not hungry.” She pulled her drink out of his reach. “Maybe I don’t want to handle it. Maybe I’m tired of handling everything. Maybe I just want to stop thinking for one night.”
She got up, went into the kitchen, and poured another shot. Lance followed her.
Her mind turned endlessly, like a merry-go-round that never stopped. Images of Tessa, bloody and shredded and covered in dirt; pictures of wounds; autopsy reports; crime scene photos. The slideshow ran 24/7, as if it had been burned into her retinas.
She tipped the glass back. The next shot slid down her throat and into her belly. She welcomed the heat. A few seconds later, it soothed and smoothed her raw edges. It was merely a Band-Aid over a gaping wound, but if a Band-Aid was all you had, you used it.
Right?
“Morgan . . .” Lance pressed closer. His body nearly touching hers. He took her arm and turned her to face him. His hand settled on her bicep.
If she’d thought the whiskey made her hot, the proximity to him sent her temperature off the charts. Lance had the power to make her forget everything. To shut off her brain and simply feel.
She put the glass down and splashed more whiskey into it. “I’m going to prove Nick is innocent, even if he . . .” She didn’t want to verbalize her worst fear. In the beginning, she’d been terrified that she was going to fail Nick, and he would go to prison for murder. His life would be over. Prison was dangerous, but she’d never expected someone to try to kill him in his first five days in the county jail. But did she want to solve the case for Nick or for herself?
If Nick died, she’d risked everything for nothing.
The community hated her. She’d lost her job before she’d even started.
This was hardly the first case where she’d bucked popular opinion. Her whole family was devoted to serving justice. Her entire life she’d been raised to respect the law. Those who didn’t obey it deserved to suffer the consequences. She’d spent years doing her best to put criminals behind bars. This case was no different. The police had arrested the wrong man. A killer was still out there, and Nick was in intensive care, maybe dying, because of their mistake.
She thought of Nick playing chess with her grandfather or blowing bubbles for the girls on the front lawn and couldn’t reconcile those images with a boy on the brink of death.
Not fair. Not fair. Notfairnotfairnotfair.
Tears burned in the corners of her eyes. She tipped the glass and took another mouthful of whiskey. The taste mellowed on her tongue, and her thoughts grew fuzzy.
“I know you’re hurting tonight, but whiskey isn’t the answer,” Lance said. “I should know. I tried that route last winter. Made everything worse.”
Morgan sipped. Alcohol might not be the answer, but frankly, she was out of ideas. “Then what is the answer?”
Would Nick still be alive in the morning?
He hadn’t done anything to deserve what had happened to him. Morgan couldn’t believe he could intentionally hurt anyone. “Do you believe Nick is innocent?”
“I’m not convinced he’s guilty,” Lance said. “But I don’t think we’ve found the truth yet.”
“Is my judgment skewed? Do I just want him to be innocent so badly, I’ll do anything to prove it?”
Warmth bloomed on her skin. Setting her glass on the counter, she pulled away from Lance’s touch and took off her suit jacket.
“I don’t know.” Lance took her arms firmly in both hands. “But whatever happens, none of it was your fault. You’ve already given me serious doubts about the DA’s case. We’ll solve this case. We will find Tessa’s killer.”
“Even if Nick . . .” She couldn’t finish the sentence.
But Lance understood her. “Yeah. Even then.”
Her palms landed on his shoulders. Though he wasn’t 100 percent convinced Nick was innocent, she should be glad to have him on the investigation. She needed someone close by who was objective. Someone to keep her in check.