Thankful for her dropping the subject, I smile and get to work. Now, to figure out how I’m going to stop everyone I see from bringing him up. That’s the thing about young love in a small town—it never dies.
The rest of the day passes with the boys off with Cooper. He promised them a day of fun. They wanted to see the ranch, and Cooper was all too happy to not have to see me. He had big dreams and he blames me for crushing them, but it’s time to get over it. We’re going to have to deal with this—and soon. I’ve been going over all the books trying to make sense of Cooper’s accounting methods, which is difficult since a lot of his bookkeeping is on Post-it notes.
I start tossing around papers, and folders tumble to the ground. Awesome.
As I’m gathering my mess, I hear the screen door shut. “One second,” I call out from my spot on the floor.
“You need help, baby girl?”
I stand with my arms full and almost drop them again. “I’m okay, Daddy.”
“Are you?”
No. “Yeah, I’m good.”
“Okay.” He clearly doesn’t believe me. “Cooper hasn’t done much with this side of the business. I know I’m retired, but would you let me know if he screwed up real bad?”
I don’t think that’s really why he’s here, but it’s sweet. My dad and I were always close when I was a kid. I was the only girl, and he hung the moon. “Of course, Daddy. I’ll make sense of it soon.”
“You were always the one with the brains,” he chortles.
“Well.” I stop. “Not when it comes to certain things.”
Daddy nods with a knowing grin. “Boys were always your downfall, sugar. But I think you got it right with my grandbabies.”
Yeah, I sure did. They’re great boys with a lot of love to give. “I was lucky with them.”
“Nah.” He waves his hand. Daddy walks over to a shelf where all my rodeo ribbons and trophies are. “Remember how mad your mama would get when I’d take you out to practice?”
“I do. She would refuse to let you eat anything she cooked for the day.”
My mother’s sister died when she was a little girl from a riding accident. My mother was dead set against me barrel racing, but my father would sneak me out. It was in my blood, my mind, and it lived deep in my heart. I think my father saw that and knew I would find a way regardless of what my mama wanted.
It was our thing. We’d wake up real early and ride out to the edge of the property. Cooper and Daddy had their hunting and crap, but the bond between me and my father was special. At least I thought so.
My father’s eyes pierce me. “I would’ve gone hungry if it meant I got to see your smile when you rode.”
“Daddy,” I murmur.
“None of that.” He looks away.
I come around the desk, place my hand on his shoulder, and squeeze. “Maybe we could go for a ride?”
His eyes fill with joy as he looks at me.
Finally, after a second he answers, “I think we could arrange something.”
“Good.” I smile. “Let me know.”
“How about tomorrow?” he asks with hope laced in his voice.
“Perfect.”
Daddy pulls me into his arms. “I’ve missed you, darlin’. I missed you so much.”
I grab on, holding him close and fighting back the tears. It feels good having a sense of forgiveness between me and my parents. I didn’t realize how much I needed it. They love me, and they love the boys. My desire to keep away was never fully about them though. It was about the town, the feeling of failure, and the whispers about how I belonged with Zach. There’s not a place I turn here that doesn’t remind me of him, which means that my parents, Cooper, and this town are all tied to him. And he made it clear he didn’t want to be tied to me when he made the choice to leave me. Now I need to find a new rope to hold on to.
“W HY WOULD YOU DO THIS, Todd? Why would you choose to leave us like that?”
“I thought I was helping.” His sad voice washes over me.
I look at him, only now I see him differently. This time I notice the sadness around his eyes. The way he really doesn’t look at me, more like through me. My tears fall when I see the pain I’m feeling reflected back at me.
“It hurts so much. I’m so angry with you,” I tell him as we sit on our knees.
Todd sits beside me and cries as well. “I’m angry with me. I wish I could’ve been a better man. I tried so hard to make things right, but I couldn’t do it anymore, Pres. I couldn’t keep going.”
“Not even for me? Or for Logan and Cayden?” I ask through my sobs.
“I miss them. I knew I would, but I would’ve failed them far worse if I stayed.”
“No!” I shake my head in denial. “You broke us! I don’t know how to do this. I’ve never felt so alone or scared.”
His hand rises as if he’s going to touch my cheek, but drops it. “You’ll be fine, my love. You were always so strong. So beautiful. I left knowing you’d be okay.”