“We’ve gone through a lot to get here.” Spinning around, I shove my hand to my hip. “You disappeared on me.”
“I knew you were in good hands.” His lighthearted mood dots the air like particles of dust in the sunshine. It’s great to be a part of his happiness, almost like being back at Growly’s that one time in another lifetime.
Shaking his head, a self-punishing sigh slips out. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner. That night.”
“But you were there. You helped me. Were you hurt?”
“Flesh wound.” He smiles, but then that smile slips again. “I should have known what she was doing. I knew she was using again because Garvey was supplying the habit, but I underestimated her. Garvey was a good distraction and a compliant follower, but she was the mastermind. He was following her orders. He was a fool. She would have killed him too, so he would have died either way.”
“She’d been out of her mind for a while. It was hard to tell if she was high or just a bad person.”
“I checked on her. I set the manor and her room up with sensors. But seeing her wander the house was nothing new, even at that hour. It’s when she went outside that she broke routine. I went to see what was going on and found her chasing you. I should have known sooner though. It was my job after all.”
I never really did get to know the man he portrayed so well for others. I think I got a glimpse of the real Jason beneath the other identities. Trying to relieve his remorse, I ask, “What does that job description look like anyway?”
“Sexy male with soulful eyes and a mouth that works magic looking for . . .” Pausing, he chuckles briefly before turning more serious. “I’m actually not sure what I’m looking for.” I reach for my lipstick and touch up my lips. His eyes watch the mundane action as if it’s truly fascinating, or I am. “By the way, these days, I’m gainfully unemployed.”
My smile reaches my eyes. “You mean you’re not ‘watching over me’ anymore?”
“Nope. I’m here on unofficial business only,” he replies easily.
“Friend business.” I turn around to face him again. “I’m glad.”
“Friends. That’s not something I have many of.”
“So are you going to stay?”
Rubbing his chin, he looks at me out of the corners of his eyes amused. “No. I know when to fold ’em. It’s the holding ’em that I seem to struggle with.”
“Eh, if you stick around one place long enough, I bet you’ll have no problem finding a reason to stay.”
“I worked for Madeline.”
I still to the spot. Even though Alexander already told me everything, I like that Jason’s telling me now. “For how long?”
“A few years.”
“Why?”
“Because she needed me. She needed help, help I could give her.”
“What help was that?”
“Someone who believed in her cause.” Shifting, he stops and looks behind him. I think it’s more from habit to plan his escape route than a lack of interest in what’s right in front of him. “I have a feeling you know all this already.”
“Alexander and Madeline told me a little, but I’m glad you told me.”
“Why?”
“Because we’re friends.”
“Friends.” Laughing, he repeats it as if trying the word on for size. “Yes, that’s right. You remind me of her.”
“Really? How so?”
“Your heart is not your own. It was given away long before I met you. It bleeds for everyone else, even to your detriment. Where did you learn to be so strong?”
Am I strong? I’ve been told that, but now I believe it.
Yes. I am. I am strong.
“I think I always had it in me. I never had a reason to realize it before.”
Nodding, he says, “You did.” He takes a deep breath and exhales. “I’m skipping town tonight.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I know.”
“No way to lure in you into staying?”
“Like you said, if I had a reason . . . I don’t. But if you ever need anything, you find me, okay?”
“How?”
He comes over and squeezes my shoulder lightly. “You know more about me than almost anyone else.”
“Who else knows about you?”
“My mom.”
His response makes me smile. Such a basic and wonderful answer.
Then he adds, “You were wrong about me breaking a bunch of hearts. It was only one heart broken, and that was mine.”
My heart sinks just a little and I wish I could comfort him somehow, but I know I’m not the one who can do that. “I’m sorry.”
His smile returns and I can tell he’s done revealing anymore about himself. “We live and learn.”
We do. Just as life seems to be settling into something more normal, change comes along to shake things up again. “I hope you find peace and a place that makes you want to stay longer than a few months.” My fingers graze over the lacy fabric that hides my wound without thought. It’s become a habit of mine.
Not acknowledging the sentiment of my words, his eyes capture the small motion near my waist. “One day you’ll forget it ever happened. One day you’ll forget I ever happened. You make a beautiful bride. Alexander Kingwood is a very lucky man.” Before I can say anything, my heart starts to beat faster knowing this is the final goodbye I never wanted to happen. “Now close your eyes and count to twenty.”
I don’t. I don’t do either. I stare into his eyes afraid to close mine. “Goodbye for now.”
“Goodbye for now, Alice.” Two fingers touch my forehead, and he slowly drags them down and my eyelids with them. And I start counting . . .
One.
Two.
Three . . .
I don’t make it to twenty before my eyes reopen. I’m pretty sure this is the last time I’ll ever see Jason Koster—Eric, Larry. I smile as I stand with my back to the mirror, facing the open window he disappeared through. The swaying sheer curtains are the only hint he was ever here. Other than in our memories, maybe the only way I know he even existed at all. What a tale I could tell.
My mom walks in. “Found it.” She holds up a string of pearls before stepping behind me and fastening them around my neck. When she comes back around, she lowers the veil over my face and coos, “I’ve never seen a more beautiful bride. I wish you nothing but pure joy and patience.”
I glance at the window once more. I want to feel sad about losing a friend, but I’m not sure Jason will ever settle down into a role he sought on his own anyway. I send him a wish for a happy life, trailing him wherever he goes. Looking in my mom’s eyes, the excitement of the day shines bright. I ask, “Patience?”
“You’ll need it.” Her gaze dashes to the ceiling before returning to mine. “Men are simply incorrigible.”