“I’ve looked, Sara Jane. All the places I know he could be, he’s not. I need to think because it’s not like him to disappear like this—”
“And yet I’m accustomed to it. What’s it like to spend so much time with him?”
“You have him, the real him. When he’s at the penthouse or the office, he wears a mask of bravado and bad attitude. Jason says it best: King is fighting the world to solve one problem, but the problem isn’t who killed his mother. It’s who took the one thing he loved away. Sara Jane, he lives only because you did. He would have never survived your death, and I know he would have taken this whole town down with him.”
I want to scream, my soul clawing its way through my body trying to find its mate. I want to freak out, but Cruise is deep in thought, so I sit on my hands, and say, “He carries a lot of anger.”
“It’s grown over the years, but the lack of any tangible evidence will do that to someone. He’s going crazy in his own head.”
“How do I bring him back from the cliff he’s determined to jump off?”
“You wait him out.” Resting his arms on his knees, he rubs his face. The weight of all this appears to be wearing him out. “He’s most himself when he’s with you. You give him peace.”
“He does that for me and what I learned while I was away is that he’s the only one who does that for me.”
“In high school he was different.” I watch as he remembers a lighter version of his friend, feeding me tidbits I crave about Alexander. “He laughed a lot. Everything came easy for him. Always so damn easy. He got the girls. The guys wanted to be his friend. He got the grades without studying. He was happy and then . . .” he stops, his eyes sliding up to mine, “he wasn’t.”
“I wish I would have known that side of him.” I wring my hands together.
“The death of his mother and working for his dad’s company destroyed that side. I’m not sure it’s even a part of him anymore.”
“It’s not. I’ve searched for it. But sometimes I catch a glimmer of that smile that comes easily, the laughter that doesn’t hold guilt, and his eyes are alight with some little bit of happy that managed to survive. I live for those moments. I stay through the hard times just to see the moon shine in his eyes. Does that make me pathetic?”
“I don’t need moonbeams from his eyes,” Cruise says, chuckling. “But I stay because he’s not just my best friend. He’s my brother—the one I chose as family.” And for the first time, I see the qualities in Cruise that Alexander has often spoken of.
“He sees you the same way, Cruise. And you have gained more than a friend in me. I consider you my family too. So if you’re in the market—”
He smiles and nods his head. “I’d like that.”
Sticking out my hand, I say, “Done.”
Bringing me into a side hug, he repeats, “Done.”
The sun sets and no call comes. Cruise left around nine o’clock, and I’m sitting on the edge of the bathtub not sure if I should call the police or vomit. Where could he be? Where is Alexander?
*
Cruise stood by his chosen brother, and I thought after our talk two days ago we were friends. Yet it’s Thursday afternoon, and he hasn’t returned my calls. Just like Alexander.
My foot bounces uncontrollably as I tick through the options or lack of when it comes to them. After visiting the penthouse both days, there’s not been a word from either of them.
“You can’t call the police because there are warrants out for their arrest. It’s a matter of who can find them first.” Typical Jason, always stating facts.
“What does that mean?”
“The police will book them if they find them. And it’s my guess that whoever else is out there that wants them will get them.”
“Maybe they left by choice.” Just admitting that out loud cuts me to the core. Would he? Could he? Did he leave me? Has Alexander done what I did to him—disappeared into thin air?
The question lingers long after I climb under the covers that still smell of him. I bring the sheet to my nose and inhale, remembering how his body covered mine, how he moved with grace even when he was erratic in his chase of the blissful release.
My eyes open when I hear a soft knock on the door. April walks in with a tray of soup and crackers. I don’t care about food or water, survival, or life without Alexander. This last forty-eight hours have battered my heart. I must look as road weary as my insides, but I haven’t cared to check today.
She smiles that horrendous smile she’s been wearing since her nephew stopped by and asks, “How are you feeling, sweetie?”
Lying on my back, I roll to my side, facing away from her. I’ve managed to avoid her since the terrace incident.
The tray is set down on the nightstand, and she sits on the bed. I roll my eyes and sigh heavily. Why must she insert herself into my life like she’s been invited? “It’s almost nighttime and I heard you haven’t eaten today.”
I continue to ignore her, especially when she insists on talking to me like we actually care about each other. I ask, “Aren’t you worried at all?”
“About Alexander? No. He has good survival instincts. I’m sure he’s fine.”
“Survival instincts?” I sit up. “Why would he need those?”
“Just an expression is all.” She stands and adds, “I’m told this is not out of the ordinary for his behavior so I’m not going to expend energy uselessly. I’m sure he’ll be back when he’s ready.”
“Ready? What does that mean? Ready for what?”
April stands and crosses her arms. Her skinny red-tipped fingers tap impatiently over the colorful fabric of today’s purple and navy blue caftan. “It’s time to give up this game you’re playing.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I know you’re not married. I know he told your parents you were so he’d be included in making medical decisions regarding your health. It’s admirable, even to me who lost faith in men years ago. Endearing even. But it’s time to end this charade.”
I could lie. I could, but I don’t have to. I refuse to give her any upper hand. “You don’t have a say in the matter. Alexander do—”
“Alexander is not here, so you need to—”
“Don’t tell me what I need to do.” I get out of bed and step into her space.
“You’re being unreasonable, Sara Jane. It must be the meds.”
“Don’t insinuate I’m not in control of my mind. I stopped pain meds days ago, but that’s really none of your business.”
“What is my business is this estate and Kingwood Enterprises. In Alexander’s absence, and as his mother, this responsibility falls on me.”
I’m so taken aback a slap to the face would have been less shocking. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“He’s gone. We don’t know when he’s coming back.”
“So you think you’re just going to step into his shoes? Does it even bother you that he’s gone? Have you looked for him, worried over your missing son?”
“Have you?” she spits back.
“Endlessly.”
“But you haven’t called the police or filed a missing person report. Why is that?”