I was going to kill them all.
“D-don’t ask me wh-what happened,” she whisper-sobbed, tone pleading. “I d-don’t w-want to t-talk about it.”
“Okay.” Going against every instinct inside of my body, I nodded slowly, careful not to make any sudden move that would scare what was left of her senses out of her. “I won’t.”
I understood what it felt like to be afraid, I’d spent most of my life drowning in terror until I just stopped caring.
Caring meant feeling.
If I didn’t care about what happened to me then I had nothing to fear.
I could survive feeling like that.
I could survive this life.
Shannon stared at me for a long moment, big blue eyes full of unshed tears, and then she bolted forward like a skittish foal, crying hysterically. “I don’t w-want to be h-here anymore, J-Joe.”
“I know, Shan.” Catching her small frame as she barreled into me, I wrapped her up in my arms as tight as I could, wanting to protect her from something that had already happened. “I know.”
“I w-want to d-die,” she continued to cry, choking hard on her tears. “I w-want to n-not be h-here anymore.”
“You can’t go dying on me,” I tried to coax, as terror filled my veins. “What would I do without you, huh?”
“But I m-make everything w-worse f-for you,” she continued to cry. “You k-keep getting in f-fights trying to pr-protect and s-stick up f-for me. It’s n-not fair on y-you… always h-having to s-save me.”
“That’s my job, Shan,” I said as I pried her ponytail from her small fist. “I’m your big brother. I will always stick up for you.”
“I l-love you, J-Joe.”
“I love you, too,” I whispered, wrapping her up in my arms. “I’m going to fix this, okay? I’ll make this right for you. I promise.”
“Shannon!” Mam’s loud cry filled my ears, as she hurried into the bathroom, with our principal hot on her heels. “Oh, Shannon, baby.”
“Shannon,” Mr. Nyhan, our principal, acknowledged in a gentle tone and then, “Joseph,” in a much flatter one.
“What are you going to do about this?” I demanded, rising to my feet and taking Shannon with me. “Did you see this?” Thrusting my sister’s ponytail in front of his face, I hissed, “What the fuck are you going to do about this?“
“Joey!” Mam snapped, flushing, as she pulled Shannon out from under my arm and into hers. Looking as pale as a ghost, she pointed her finger in my face. “Don’t you dare use that kind of language when you’re speaking to your principal.”
“Don’t worry, Mrs. Lynch,” Mr. Nyhan replied in a haughty tone. “We can discuss your son’s behavior at a later time. Miss Lane will contact you in due course to discuss the issue.”
“Oh, what fucking ever,” I sneered, shaking my head. “You’re worried about my behavior, but I’m not the one going around hacking anyone’s ponytail off.”
“Joey!” Mam choked out. “Enough, please.”
“I will deal with the students involved as I see fit,” Mr. Nyhan replied. “Not how you demand me to, Joseph.”
“Meaning that you’ll do fuck all,” I hissed, tone laced with disgust.
“Keep it up, Joseph,” the principal warned. “Because, with an attitude like that, you’re on the verge of skipping over suspension and moving straight to expulsion.”
“Please,” Mam started. “Please try to understand; he’s going through a lot right now.“
“Don’t beg for me,” I warned, hating the emotion seeping into my voice, when I locked eyes with my mother. “If he wants to expel me then he can go right ahead.”
“It’s okay, Joe,” Shannon sniffled. “I’m o-okay.”
“No, it’s not okay, Shan.” I shook my head. “None of this is okay, and you’re not okay, either.”
Shaking my head, I walked towards the door, feeling to need to get as far away from these people as I physically could. “I’ll fix this, Shannon. I’ll make it right.”
“Joey?” Mam called after me.
“Joseph.” That was Mr. Nyhan. “Where do you think you’re going?”
Not bothering to answer either one of them, I shoved the bathroom door open and stalked out.
Eyes scanning the hoard of students in the hallway, I honed in on Podge’s carrot top head.
“Ciara Maloney’s brother,” I bit out. “Where would I find him?”
“Mike?” Podge’s brows shot up. “I think he’s having a smoke behind the PE hall.”
Nodding stiffly, I headed for the front door.
“Why?” I heard him call after me, but I didn’t stop to explain.
With my mood darkened to the point of no return, I rounded the back of the PE hall, not stopping until I had Mike Maloney’s jumper fisted in one hand, while I buried my other fist in his face.
Commotion erupted around us, as several of our classmates cheered and called out, “fight, fight, fight…”
“What the hell, Joe?” Mike demanded, staggering backwards.
Like a shark tasting blood in the water, I was on the bastard, my fists moving harder and faster than I thought possible.
Dragging him to the ground, I wrapped my hand around his throat and squeezed. “Scary, isn’t it?” I seethed, tightening my grip until he began to turn purple. “Being attacked for no reason?”
“Joey,” Podge called out, trying and failing to pull me off him. “Come on, lad, you’re choking him.”
“Good,” I roared, spitting with temper. “Maybe this way his whore of a sister will take the fucking warning.”
“Joey!” Mr. Ryan, our hurling coach, roared, coming to help Podge drag me off my classmate. “That’s enough – let him go! Now!”
“Let that be a warning to your sister,” I roared. “If she so much as looks at my sister again, I’ll kill you.” Chest heaving, I pointed straight at the lad bleeding all over the concrete, as Mr. Ryan and several of my teammates dragged me away. “Do ya hear me? I will kill you!”
DON’T PRETEND YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED
JANUARY 7TH 2004
AOIFE
I heard about the fight after lunch on Wednesday.
It was all anyone could talk about, as the school bustled with gossip and rumors.
Apparently, Ciara Maloney had orchestrated some type of vicious attack on Joey Lynch’s younger sister, Shannon, and in retaliation, Joey had pummeled Ciara’s brother; beating Mike until his face was unrecognizable.
Both Mike and Shannon had reportedly been taken to the doctor by their respective mothers, while Ciara sat it out in detention, and Joey went on the missing list.
“It has to be his last strike,” Paul said, sitting to my left, and looking entirely too happy about the whole horrible situation.
“Lynch has had too many chances,” Paul continued, drumming his fingers on the desk. “Nyhan’s definitely going to expel him this time.”
Kind of like how you’ve had too many chances with me. I thought to myself, still feeling salty over how he had tried to pressure me on New Year’s Eve.