Black eye.
Bruised cheekbone.
Busted lip.
I couldn't decide what was worse; the fact that I couldn’t hide the bruises or the fact that I couldn’t stop him from putting them there.
Reaching for the tin that I kept hidden behind the back of the sink, I flipped the lip off and quickly set to work cutting and then snorting a line of coke, feeling some semblance of control return to my body when my head began to function again, and my heart began to thud harder.
Rubbing a hand down my face, I exhaled a sigh of relief before kicking off my clothes and climbing into the shower, willing the water to wash away my sins.
To wash away my pain.
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“I don’t want to go, Joe,” Shannon mumbled, as I practically dragged her ass to school. “Please. It’ll be the same this year.”
“No, it won’t,” I lied through my teeth and told her. “You’re in second year now. It’ll be better.”
“I really don’t think I can do it.”
“Well, I know you can.”
“You do?”
“Yeah,” I told her. “I promise.”
She looked up at me with her big blue eyes. “You really promise?”
She had our mother’s eyes and it made it hard to look at her sometimes.
“I promise, Shan.”
She smiled and visibly sagged in relief.
The word seemed to comfort something inside of my sister, even if we both knew that I didn’t mean it.
She needed the word, and I was more than willing to give it to her if it meant that she was out of the house and away from our father.
“I still can’t believe you let somebody do that to your skin,” she offered then, reaching over to touch the black ink covering my forearm. “It’s so permanent.”
Shrugging, I resisted the urge to tell her that the intricate hoops and swivels permanently etched on my forearm helped conceal the huge permanent scar our father had put there when he took a broken bottle to us last Christmas, after too many whiskeys at the dinner table.
There was no point in reminding Shannon of something she was very much aware of. Especially since she was the one who had spent the entire ride to the hospital keeping pressure on my arm, to stop me from bleeding out.
I was just glad it had been my arm and not her face that he maimed – like I had a feeling he had been aiming for.
“You’re not a fan?”
She scrunched her nose up. “Not at all, I think tattoos are hideous; although, I have to admit that the Celtic crucifix on your back isn’t entirely terrible.”
“Is that a compliment I hear?” I teased, elbowing her playfully. “Come on, you can say it. ‘Joey, my favorite, most amazing, most devastatingly good-looking brother, I love your tattoo’.”
“Fine, it’s a nice tattoo.” Chuckling, she pushed me back and then hurried to catch up with me, her short legs slowing her down. “There, I said it. Are you happy now?”
“I didn’t quite hear that.” Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, I gently rustled her hair with my knuckles. “Say it.”
“Fine, fine,” Shannon squealed through fits of laughter. “Joey, my favorite, most amazing—"
“Don’t forget the most devastatingly good-look brother. That’s the best part.”
“Most in love with himself and vainest brother,” she corrected me with a laugh. “And I love your tattoo – even if it does take up half of your back.”
“Good enough,” I teased, releasing her from my hold.
“You’re such a dope,” she giggled, nudging me again with her elbow.
I didn’t care what she thought about me as long as she wasn’t thinking about how scared she was to go to school.
Her smile was rare, but I was proud to be able to put it there, even after the night from hell we’d been put through.
“It’ll be okay, won’t it, Joe?” she asked then, as the school came into sight. “When it’s all over and done with.” She sucked in a sharp breath before whispering, “When we’re grown up and gone from this town, we’ll get our happy ending, won’t we?”
“Yeah, Shan,” I replied, hitching my bag up on my shoulder. “You’re going to have an epic happy ending.”
“So are you, Joe,” she replied softly. “I just know it.”
It was at that exact moment my eyes landed on the leggy blonde leaning against the school entrance, with a grey beanie hat covering her ridiculously long hair, and a lollypop between her pursed lips.
“Yeah, Shan.” I wasn’t convinced about happy endings, but when Molloy locked her eyes on me and smiled, I could believe in the possibility of a happy day.
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“Welcome back, fifth years,” Mr. Nyhan acknowledged from his perch at the podium in the canteen. “It’s wonderful to see all of your smiling faces as we embark on a new school year. Now, as you are all well aware, fourth year was a transition year. It was a wonderful opportunity to dip your toes in new waters and try out new hobbies and interests. But that was then, and this is now. Fifth year will see you all taking on new course work, a heavier academic workload than any of you can comprehend. In other words, the next two years of your academic career are going to be the toughest you have ever faced.”
“What in the name of Jesus is that fella on?” Podge asked, nudging my shoulder with his. “He’s absolutely crackers if he thinks this regurgitated pep talk is going to excite or encourage anyone to come to school.”
“Who knows, lad,” I mumbled, arms folded across my chest, as I leaned against the lockers at my back, and listened to Nyhan drone on and on with his usual back to school bullshit spiel.
“Rough night?” Podge asked then.
“What?” I narrowed my eyes. “Why?”
“I’ll telling you now, lads, the only thing I want to dip in water is my dick in Aoife Molloy’s tight pussy,” Alec declared, interrupting us, as he inclined his head to where Molloy was sitting at the opposite side of the canteen.
The minute I locked eyes on her, a surge of heat hit me directly in the dick.
Yeah, she was looking good this year.
I hadn’t spoken to her since the weekend when I fitted her new wardrobe for her.
Usually, she came up to me first thing before class for our morning ritual that consisted of a little verbal sparring.
However, I put her absence this morning down to the unfortunate series of events that had led me to almost decapitating her twin.
My eyes scanned the crowd again and landed on the poor scrawny bastard, tucked away in the corner with the rest of the studious, techy fuckers from our year, who would go on to college, and end up with high paying jobs. Those guys were so smart that they were kept tucked away in honor roll classes, and far away from the rest of us mere mortals; aka the thick fuckers like myself, Podge, and Alec, who would more likely than not end up taking up an apprenticeship and working with our hands.
I never put a lot of thought into the consequences of my flying fists, but I felt terrible for unleashing them on Kevin Molloy. Especially since he hadn’t breathed a word of what happened to either one of his parents, meaning that I got to keep my job at the garage. I had a feeling Molloy had a lot more to do with me keeping my job, considering her brother had never been my biggest fan.
My mind drifted back to that weird moment we had in her room on Saturday, and I had to repress a shiver.
Things had been different between us for a while now, deeper, since the day of my grandfather’s funeral when she surprised the hell out of me by showing up.
Her presence had thrown me, she had thrown me, and I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.
Either way, having her put some distance between us today couldn’t be a bad thing.