I smiled through my tears. “What offends you more, the sweat, dirt, or blood?”
He swallowed. “Your blood, definitely. I thought he was going to kill you. I’ve never been more afraid in my entire life.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because you mean everything to me, Luna.”
“You almost got yourself killed,” I scowled.
“Almost doesn’t count,” he said with a smile. “Plus,” he added, “you did get yourself killed.”
“Only for a moment,” I defended. I didn’t tell him that before I died, I saw the look on his face, heard him shout for me, and then run to catch me. I felt his love. He made me want to live. He made me want to fight. All this time I had been seeking revenge on Aura, when I should have known the friendly serpent was already coiled around my leg, ready to strike.
All I could think of when his warm hands fell on my skin, and he cried out for me not to leave him, was that I needed to protect him. I needed to come back to him.
Even if I had no magic, if I had no familiar, my soul would have clawed and scraped to hold on for him, to not cross into the cool comfort death offered. I would hurt and burn for him for an eternity in this place if it meant he was safe.
We walked back to the palace in silence, surveying the damage. Aura’s morbid garden was in tatters. There were gouges and scars on the marble fa?ade of the palace exterior. Part of Aura’s balcony had crumbled. Blood was still dripping from its ledge onto the ground, where the earth was soaked and splattered crimson. What was left of the yard was charred or muddied.
It was over.
Aura was dead.
Our father was dead.
Phillip was safe.
I felt alone and empty. And afraid.
chapter twenty-seven
LUNA
Bathing was easy now. I could fill the copper tubs with my water magic and run a scorching finger around the sides until the water steamed. I sank into its warmth, washing the mud, sweat, blood, and tears from my skin, skin that didn’t even feel like mine. My scars had already healed. It was unbroken and flawless, and the sensations were too much. The pads of my fingertips were sensitive, tasting everything they touched.
My hearing was even more acute. I could hear Phillip’s blood whooshing through his veins from two rooms away, even as he washed his body and the water sloshed in its tub. I heard goosebumps forming on his skin. It was too much.
And I wasn’t tired. Not at all.
Pieces was perched on the branch of a small tree potted in the corner. She danced up and down the piece of wood, still distraught. I wondered if I could make her forget it all, forget my sister and their relationship, and send her out into the woods to live as she had before Aura took her.
Maybe I would try, but not yet. Not today.
Phillip slept in my old bedroom. We still hadn’t talked about what would come next. He was exhausted. Even though the sun had set hours ago I wasn’t sleepy, and wasn’t sure if I would be when it rose. So many things would change now. I wanted this, I reminded myself.
I called to Ember through our connection. Scampering through the destroyed garden of torn petals and sharp thorns, my familiar came to me. She put her soft paws on my leg and I picked her up, stroking her fur. I knew I had let her down. Because I trusted someone more than I trusted her instincts, she was hurt. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you,” I whispered. “You knew all along that Malex was a beast, didn’t you?” I whispered.
She rubbed her head against my palm, instantly forgiving me. I just wondered if it would be possible to one day forgive myself for all the damage that had been done. Ember left me and curled up against Phillip. That night, I watched them sleep from a chair in the corner, where I could keep an eye out. Just in case I hadn’t really ended Malex.
I saw him burn and then scattered the ashes of his form across the land, but fae were supposed to be immortal. What if we hadn’t really taken all of his powers, and he still had that gift? I cringed to think that I’d be looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life—which, now that I thought about it, wouldn’t end. Would it?
Glancing at Phillip, my heart broke again as the realization set in. He was mortal. I would have to watch him age and eventually, I would have to watch him die. I knew I would outlive him, but by how long? Eternity didn’t have an ending. If I was immortal, the time that parted us would stretch into infinity.
Would that be worse than watching him give his heart to another woman? I wasn’t sure yet, but one day I would find out.
The morning sun shone on my face as I sat in a chair by the window. “You’re still awake,” Phillip mumbled. Even his voice was tired. He hadn’t been part of the battle, but the adrenaline alone had taken its toll.
“Your ribs are hurting,” I said. “I’ll go to the cottage. None of my ingredients are here.”
“I’m fine.”
“I’ll try to make sure it works faster. I’m sure you’ll want to get home,” I said quietly.
He swallowed, sheepish. “I need to let my family know I’m alive, and that William is dead.”
He didn’t say he would come back to me, and I knew he wouldn’t want to. I had nothing to offer him. He didn’t need my protection now. He was free, and I was nothing more than a cage; a witch that everyone feared, a monster—especially now that I had so much power thrumming beneath my skin and pounding through my veins.
“There should be more clothes for you somewhere in this place. They won’t be as fine as yours, but they’ll be clean,” I offered.
He nodded and sat up. “I’ll find them.”
“Sit still before you puncture a lung. I’ll find something for you and then we’ll go.”
I eased the broom down in front of my cottage and Ember leapt down from Phillip’s arms. Pieces, who’d flown with us, landed on one of my window sills.
“Are you going to stay here or go back to the palace?” he asked, clutching his side.
“I’m not sure yet.”
“Take your time. You don’t have to decide today, this week, or this year if you don’t want to.”
I tried to smile. “I have all the time in the world now.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know this would happen to you when she died.” His words tore into me.
“I didn’t either.” And now I was bound to a fate I didn’t know was possible, and didn’t want. Living alone forever would be an even worse fate than being tethered to my twin and suffering from the intolerable seasonal slumbers.
“You’re strong, you know. It’ll be okay in time.”
I nodded, even though I didn’t share his assessment. “I know. Let’s go inside. I need my spell book.”