“Nope,” Luke said. “He’s got it all handled.”
I looked at Eliza. “Do you know anything about this?”
“I seem to remember he mentioned something about it last month, but maybe not,” I said.
“All he told me was that he had a big surprise for all of us. The Landers are invited. I know that much,” Luke said. “Do we have any more cranberry sauce?”
“Sure,” Eliza said. “Well, what do you think, Adam? Want to go back to the beach for New Year’s? We can always roast some oysters.”
“I’ll get a couple of bushels from Crosby’s,” Luke said. “They’ve got a ton from the May River.”
“Up to you,” I said. “I don’t have any other plans. And I’m always happy to see Carl and Eve. Especially Carl.”
She put the cranberry sauce in front of Luke and sat down again. I thought, a couple of bushels? One bushel was a lot for a dozen hungry people. Two would feed a lot of people. But I didn’t say anything. I knew then that Eliza and I were being set up. I smiled because I thought it was great that Max wanted to surprise us and because he didn’t want Eliza to do any work. He was going to make it easy on his poor old tired momma.
I had noticed lately that Max and Luke were treating us like old people, always asking if our doctors were happy with us. So Eliza and I were a hair shy of sixty. Was that so old? Or maybe they thought that if they took some weight off our shoulders we’d last longer. Or! Maybe he was planning a surprise birthday party for us? That was possible. I hadn’t had a birthday party in ages! Neither had Eliza. Yes! That was it. So, I decided to be coy and just go along for the ride.
“Well, I think it might be nice to be on the island for New Year’s Eve. It will probably be damp and cold but we’ll be able to see a lot of fireworks. That’s always fun,” I said.
“Good,” Luke said. “I’ll tell him to meet us there.”
He shot Max a text message. “I told him the parentals were in.”
The parentals, indeed.
“What time?”
He texted Max again.
“Max said to be there at eight o’clock sharp.”
“Okay. He’s got something up his sleeve,” I said.
“Obviously,” Eliza said.
On New Year’s Eve we packed a bag for two nights, got dressed to the nines and drove out to the Isle of Palms. When we got to our house, as I suspected there would be, there were cars all over the place. The catering trucks from Cru were there blocking our garage, and a valet parking service was there, taking cars.
I said, “What the hell is this? Should I tell these guys to move their trucks so I can get into our parking space?”
“No,” Eliza said. “Let’s not be the difficult ones. Whatever is going on, Max went to a whole lot of trouble to make this happen.”
I pulled up to the front of our house and got out. A courteous young man opened Eliza’s door and helped her out. I opened the back of the car to remove our luggage and nodded to Eliza that we should go inside.
“This is some night. Here I am in a tuxedo and you’re in a gown and we’re going to a party in our house and we don’t know why.”
“I feel like the Magic 8 Ball—all will be revealed.” She giggled and up the stairs we went, guests in our own house.
“Well, you look beautiful,” I said. She really did.
“I told you I needed these earrings!” She smiled.
When we walked into the foyer, all our living room furniture had been removed and ballroom chairs were arranged in rows. Max hurried toward us.
“Mom! Dad!”
“Are you selling something, Max?” I said. I was thinking Amway products?
“No! I’m getting married!”
“What?” I looked further into the room and saw Luke, Kiki, Nicholas, Aunt Anna, Cookie, Carl, Eve, Ted, Judy, JJ, Tasha, and a dozen others.
“To whom?” I said very seriously.
“Daphne, of course. You probably know we’ve been together for almost eight years and she said it was time. I said, okay.”
You could’ve knocked us over with a flick of a finger.
“We knew no such thing. Why didn’t we know, if you don’t mind me asking?” I said.
“Oh! You didn’t then. Wow. Well, initially we thought you’d object because of the trouble you had with her mother and grandmother. Then she got pregnant . . .”
“What?” I said.
“Yeah, we’re having a baby in May. So we thought it was a good idea to tie the knot.”
“Holy shit,” I said. “It wasn’t enough that Carl gave me a piece of his liver. Now his daughter is going to give us a grandchild. I’ll be damned.”
“We love Daphne,” Eliza said. “Oh! Max! This is the most wonderful surprise of my life! Now, let’s not keep your bride waiting at the altar.”
So we had a little wedding that night, performed by a universal minister, one that seemed impromptu to me. But Eliza said, and I’m sure she was right, that it wouldn’t have gone more seamlessly if they’d taken a year to plan it. There was a photographer, beautiful music, and delicious food. And Daphne, beautiful Daphne was going to be our daughter-in-law. I was absolutely thrilled. So was Eliza. During the ceremony, I looked to see if Luke had brought someone and when the maid of honor appeared, I had my answer. Kelly Engelbert. She was making eyes at Luke. Suddenly the whole world made better sense.
After the ceremony, we all greeted each other with huge hugs and expressions of wonderment and surprise.
“I wanted to tell you so badly!” Kiki said to Eliza and me. “But they swore me to silence.”
“It’s fine! Oh, my goodness! I’m so happy you’re here! I have to go kiss my daughter-in-law. I’ll be right back!”
But before I got to Daphne, Cookie stopped me.
“Hi there, Cookie! How is the Netherlands?”
“I broke up with Hans.”
“Oh, dear. What happened?”
“Somehow he got ahold of that language-learning program Rosetta Stone? He tricked me. Then he said I wasn’t nice and he took his clogs and left.”
“Younger woman?”
“No, older than me with more money,” she said in disgust. “She speaks German. It will take him a while to learn another language and then he’ll find out she’s a bitch too. Where’s your father?”
“I don’t know,” I said. The room was very crowded and there were a lot of young people there I didn’t know.
“Is he still with that Judy woman?”
“I assume so,” I said.
“Well, we’ll see about that,” Cookie said and smirked.
Give it a rest, Cookie, I thought, realizing I was now related to her by marriage. Oh, God.
I finally made it to Daphne’s side and I took her hand in mine and kissed her on the cheek.
“I am happy, so happy,” I said and one big traitorous tear slid down my cheek.
She looked at me and it was as though a young Eve stood before me instead of her daughter. It was poetic justice that my son married Eve’s daughter.
Eve came to me and hugged me.
“Friends forever?” she said.
“Forever friends, but now we’re family too,” I said and hugged her back.