I turned over on my side, punched the pillow into submission, and somehow drifted off to a dreamless sleep.
Nearby church bells roused me at six in the evening. I rolled over and looked at my watch. It was six fifteen. I smiled, thinking about the tower clock in Corfu Town that had been wrong earlier in the day. Evidently, punctuality wasn’t all that important. I took a deep breath and thought, I’m in the Mediterranean! People come here from all over the world to relax. I should just take a page out of their book and not worry so much. I had been trying to act normal with Kiki, but she knew something was terribly wrong. Who flies to Greece on a moment’s notice?
I washed my face and brushed my teeth, thinking that after all the strong coffee I’d enjoyed my breath probably smelled dreadful. What should I wear to Aunt Anna’s? What would she say about me never being in touch with them? Would she want to know why I was here? I hoped she’d never learned to speak English.
I decided on black slacks and a red sweater with flat black ballet slippers. I dressed, applied a little makeup, and looked in the mirror. I looked sad. Well, hopefully it could be explained away as jet lag.
chapter 14
adam
Eliza had been gone for barely twenty-four hours and I was completely discombobulated. I had a first-class seat on a high-speed, death-defying emotional roller coaster. Angry one minute, penitent the next. Furious again and then weepy like an old woman. The first phone call came from Max at about ten thirty the same night Eliza left.
“Hey, Dad? You okay?”
Hell, no, I wasn’t okay. But I wasn’t going to get him all riled up.
“Of course, I am. How are you?”
“Good. Dad? Mom called. Why is she going to Greece? Did y’all have a fight?”
Now, what was I supposed to tell him? The least amount possible, I decided.
“No, no. Nothing like that. You know she’s always wanted to go back there to see if she could dig up some more family. I said, fine, go! That’s all there is to it. She’ll be back soon.”
“That’s a heck of a long way to travel alone.”
“Nah, your mother knows her way around.”
“Okay, then. I was just checking on you.”
He was still suspicious.
“Well, thank you, son. I’m still above ground and taking sustenance. How’s life for my brilliant future doctor?”
“Oh, you know. About the same. Killing myself over the MCAT.”
“When do you take it?”
“End of May.”
“You’ll do fine. Talk to your brother lately?”
“Not lately. He’s okay?”
“As far as I know. If I hear differently, I’ll call you.”
“Okay, then. Just checking in.”
“Sure thing. Love you, Max.”
“Love you too, Dad.”
I poured a generous measure of Scotch over a glass of ice. Sometimes I had a beer or a glass of wine and then hit the sack, but I wanted to be sure I didn’t toss and turn. Scotch would put me out like a light. Yes, I was sedating myself with alcohol because I didn’t have anything like Ambien in the house. And I assured myself I would only be a self-indulgent boozehound for this one night.
It was eleven o’clock. The phone rang again. Eve.
“I can’t sleep,” she said.
Oh, God, I thought. Here we go. Somehow, for the first time in all these years, she called me when the mood struck, and I didn’t want to talk to her. It would complicate things that were already complicated enough.
“Warm milk,” I said. “It has melatonin in it.”
“You’re not going to have a problem sleeping tonight?”
“No, because Scotch has melatonin in it too.”
She laughed and I began to warm to her, as I always did.
“Oh, God, Adam. What have we done?”
“Well, I can only speak for myself, but what it appears I’ve done is throw my marriage on the fucking shoals. Before this is over, I’m sure I’ll be the family asshole for the rest of time.”
I never cursed in front of Eve. Dr. Dewar’s was taking effect.
“Potty mouth,” she said.
“Sorry.”
“Have you heard from Eliza?”
“Nope. You heard from Carl?”
“Nope. Silence like the tomb. How angry do you think Eliza is?”
“I think she’s more hurt than angry. What I did really rattled the foundation of everything we had together. She probably thinks I’ve been in love with you all along.”
“Well, she wouldn’t be wrong.”
“No, but loving you is wrong.” I wasn’t going to tell her that now that I could have her, she was less appealing, less of a beautiful dream. But for some reason I never saw coming, it was true. The cost of having Eve was way too high, especially if it meant that I’d have to give up Eliza. I loved Eliza in a different way, a deeper love. Hell, I’d spent my entire adult life with her.
“So, what should we do?”
Who’s this we, I thought.
“I don’t know. It’s too fresh. Let’s think about it. We can talk tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
“Okay, then. Good night.”
“Adam? We didn’t do anything so horribly and terribly wrong, really. Did we?”
“Eve? What we did was probably legitimate grounds for a lot of things—murder and divorce, for starters. Let’s talk tomorrow.”
We hung up and I knew that my conversation with her had left her sort of hanging. I had not given her any reassurances. It wasn’t like Friday night at Wild Dunes when I told her I loved her. That had been more like acting out a fantasy. But then reality had hit me, because Eliza was gone. And to make things worse, I couldn’t get it out of my mind that Eve was looking for more than a friend in me. And she wanted it now. This was no time to begin an affair, even if it would be with Eve. I felt pretty rotten over the idea that I’d run Eliza out of the country. I hadn’t meant to hurt anyone. I’d only meant to steal a few hours with Eve. But mainly, I never thought we’d get caught. Jesus, this monogamy thing was hard. It sure didn’t have much leeway.