“But those are just physical needs,” she argued. “Life is more than just feeding and clothing the body, isn’t it?” Her voice was soft, but her words hit hard.
“The body feeds the soul. Haven’t I shown you this? That’s all I have to offer you, Miranda. Do you understand that? Only the here and now. If you expect more from me, you’ll only be disappointed.” He knew it was more than just lust between them, but how long would it last? He didn’t know. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her with promises he wasn’t sure he could keep.
Her gray eyes grew cloudy, changing the mood as abruptly as a brewing storm changed a sultry summer day. “Why do you say that? How can you know what I expect? Or what I desire?”
“I think I know your desires better than you do,” he replied.
She pursed her lips. Her color rose, flushing her pale cheeks to a deep shade of pink. “That isn’t what I meant. This is new territory for me too. Please don’t make light of it.”
“All right then.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Tell me. What would you expect?”
She licked her lips. “My desires in a relationship aren’t anything extraordinary. I think I want what everyone wants—companionship, trust, mutual respect, friendship”—her gaze darted to his—“fidelity.”
His shrug was purposely careless. “Maybe that’s why I’ve avoided it. I won’t live for others, Miranda, and I don’t expect anyone else to live to please me.”
“But isn’t that part of any kind of relationship? A desire to make someone else happy?”
“I’ve never been able to live up to anyone’s expectations,” Keith bit back. “I’m done failing. I’m done trying.” It was better to be alone than to get hurt.
He knew he’d only sabotaged himself. Was he about to do it again with her? He was beginning to think he already had, but trust came hard. Too hard. With trust there was always a risk of rejection. So he simply didn’t take those chances.
“But we all need someone.” Eyes locked with his, she whispered, “Please, Keith, tell me what you need and how can I give it to you. Let me touch you. Let me feed your soul.”
He froze, heart hammering against his chest, while for long, labored seconds, his mind raced. It was as if she’d reached deep inside him to a place so heavily guarded he’d thought it untouchable. Others had taken from him, but no one had ever really cared what he wanted or needed. But he wasn’t ready to let his guard down. Not yet. He couldn’t afford to make himself any more vulnerable than he already was.
There was one sure way to end this discussion, and he wasn’t beyond using it. He rolled her beneath him. “I told you what I need. Maybe it’s time I show you again?”
He kissed her before she could reply. The moment their tongues tangled, his lust roared back to life. He wanted her with an ache that reached deep into his bones, but the ache was more than sex alone could relieve. She’d asked him before if his life was lonely. It was. Lonely, empty, unfulfilled. He hadn’t even realized how empty he was until now. Was he damaged beyond repair? Beyond any hope of redemption? He didn’t know. It was damned hard to fix what you didn’t even know was broken.
He suddenly thought of his cousin’s words. You don’t even know who you are anymore, and you won’t belong anywhere until you do. Maybe he had lost his way for a while, but he was trying real hard to find his way back, and Miranda suddenly seemed like a homing beacon.
Let me touch you. Let me feed your soul. How could he tell her she already had?
Chapter 20
Miranda sensed there was something special growing between them, but how much more of himself was Keith willing to share beyond sex? He’d succeeded in turning her desire against her to stem the flow of questions. Was he already looking for an escape from any emotional entanglements? Would he try to find an excuse to break it off because she was getting too close? Her head roiled with unanswered questions, but the moment their mouths met, her mind blurred to all but the need to feel him inside her again.
Breaking away from her mouth, Keith worked his way down her body. Miranda shut her eyes to scorching sensation lapping at the place between her thighs. Hot. Wet. Slick. His tongue sliding and swirling, every flick and dart eliciting an answering flutter deep inside her. Her arousal shortened her breath, hardened her nipples. Her lungs burned for air. She ached to be filled, the emptiness like a piercing pain. She reached out for him with a needy sound.
Pressure, sweet and steady, answered her prayer.