“I always wondered why that dent was there,” I said.
“Her puppy, Starflash, chewed on it,” said Rad. “I think she liked it more because of that. She used to say that the most beautiful things are damaged in some way.” His expression saddened. “Anyway, I found it tonight. She had stuck it in a copy of Brighton Rock, as a bookmark I suppose, and then she forgot about it. We looked for it everywhere, and I kept telling her not to worry, that it would turn up eventually. Tonight, I was putting away some of her stuff in a box, and the locket fell out of the book. I know she would want to have it, so I thought I should return it to her.”
It took me a few moments to comprehend what he meant by returning the locket to Ana. “You mean now?”
Rad nodded.
“You want to go into the cemetery at this hour?”
“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to,” he said. “I can take you back home.”
“Why don’t you just wait until the morning? Cemeteries are so scary at night.”
“I don’t want to leave the necklace on her tombstone, in case someone takes it,” said Rad. “I was thinking of burying it next to her, and that’s not something I want to be doing in broad daylight.”
“I suppose you have a point,” I sighed.
“So do you want to come?”
I thought about it for a few moments. “Okay,” I said finally.
He looked relieved. “Thanks, Audrey. To be honest, I didn’t like the idea of going there alone.”
I began to regret my decision when Rad turned into the entrance of Woodlands Cemetery, where Ana was buried. As we drove past the weeping willows and tombstones jutting up from the ground like crooked teeth, a feeling of trepidation washed over me. When he came to a stop, I began to feel tiny pins pricking the back of my neck. This was always a bad sign. “Are you okay, Audrey?” said Rad, releasing the catch of his seat belt. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m fine,” I said, but my voice came out strangled and my entire body was trembling.
“You don’t look fine,” Rad frowned. “Do you want to leave?”
I shook my head and frantically felt for the door handle. “I just—need some air,” I gasped. I stumbled out of the car onto the grass, desperately trying to suck air into my lungs.
“Audrey!” Rad had materialized at my side. “It’s okay; calm down.” I felt his hand on my shoulder. I brushed it away.
“Don’t tell me to calm down!” I snapped, feeling disorientated.
“I’m sorry,” he said, taking a step back.
My hands had turned numb, and I shook them furiously as I paced up and down the grassy field. I must have looked like I was having a mental breakdown, but I didn’t care. All I could focus on was the horrible thing that had taken possession of my body. I was desperate to get back in control again.
“What can I do?” I heard Rad say, through the fog clouding my brain.
“I’ll be okay,” I panted. “Just—just give me a minute. Please.”
A few moments later, I was starting to feel a little better. I glanced at Rad, standing there with a look of worry etched across his face.
“Are you all right?”
I nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
“Sometimes it feels like—like there’s a boa constrictor around my body and it’s squeezing every last atom from my lungs. I don’t know how else to explain it.” I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“You don’t have to explain,” he said, and somehow I sensed that I didn’t.
“Thanks.” I gave him a tight smile.
“Hey, why don’t you just wait in the car while I go and do this?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I’ll come with you.”
Ana’s tombstone was barely visible beneath all the cards, decaying bouquets, and other tokens of grief.
A full moon hung in the sky like a Chinese lantern, and though I was grateful for the light, my mind kept playing random scenes from horror movies in a sinister montage.
Rad had brought a small trowel like the ones my mother used when she was gardening. He got onto his knees at the foot of Ana’s grave, and with the sharp point of the metal, he carefully cut out a small patch of grass. He put the grass to one side and began digging at the fresh soil. I sat down next to him cross-legged and watched. My mind shot to my panic attack earlier. I thought he wouldn’t want anything to do with me, that he would think I was a freak. But he didn’t seem to mind or make an issue of it, and I liked him more because of that.
“You know, I used to hear stories about kids who hung out at cemeteries in the middle of the night. I never thought in a million years that I’d be one of them,” I said.
Rad shook his head. “Me too.”
After a few minutes he stopped and stood up, fishing the necklace from his pocket. He looked at it with a mixture of curiosity and sadness. “You know, I’ve never opened it,” he said. “I don’t know what she put in there.”
“I’m sure it’s a picture of you.” I stood up and looked at the gold locket cupped in the palm of his hand.
He nodded. “I think I should just bury it and walk away.” But there was a hesitancy to his voice.
“Maybe Ana would have wanted you to look inside.”
Rad seemed to be thinking it over, and then he pried at the edge of the locket with his fingers. It clicked open with little resistance.
“It’s not a picture of me,” he said. I leaned in closer to examine the photograph stuck in the heart-shaped frame.
“It’s Candela,” I said, looking at him with surprise.
“Yeah,” he said. I couldn’t read the expression on his face.
Without a word, he snapped the locket back into its original position. Then he dropped to his knees again and placed it slowly into the freshly dug pit.
We were silent as he scooped the dirt onto the locket, filling in the void. Then he took the patch of grass and put it carefully back into position, patting it down gently. It looked like we were never here—as though the locket and its mysterious significance had been swallowed up by the earth. Rad glanced at his watch. “It’ll be daylight in a few hours. Let’s get out of here. I know a great place where we can watch the sun come up.”
Four
It was a dreary, downcast day. I was riding to the bus stop in Mum’s car, booked in for my first appointment with a psychologist just before noon.
Mum had been grilling me about Rad since breakfast and hadn’t let up. “I’m only trying to stop you from making a huge mistake, Audrey,” she said as she pulled up at the bus stop. “You’ll thank me one day.” She adjusted the rearview mirror to catch her reflection before smearing bright red lipstick across her lips.